Hot Flashes: What Can I Do?

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Hot flashes, a common symptom of the menopausal transition, are uncomfortable and can last for many years. When they happen at night, hot flashes are called night sweats. Some women find that hot flashes interrupt their daily lives. Research has shown that there can be different patterns of when women first experience hot flashes and for how long, and that African American and Hispanic women have hot flashes for more years than white and Asian women.

You may decide you don't need to change your lifestyle or investigate treatment options because your symptoms are mild. But, if you are bothered by hot flashes, there are some steps you can take. Try to take note of what triggers your hot flashes and how much they bother you. This can help you make better decisions about managing your symptoms. You can also visit My Menoplan, an evidence-based tool developed by NIA-funded researchers, to identify treatment and coping strategies best suited for you.



Lifestyle changes to improve hot flashes

Before considering medication, first try making changes to your lifestyle. If hot flashes keep you up at night, lower the temperature in your bedroom and try drinking small amounts of cold water before bed. Layer your bedding so it can be adjusted as needed and turn on a fan. Here are some other lifestyle changes you can make:Dress in layers that can be removed at the start of a hot flash.
Carry a portable fan to use when a hot flash strikes.
Avoid alcohol, spicy foods, and caffeine. These can make menopausal symptoms worse.
If you smoke, try to quit, not only for hot flashes, but for your overall health.
Try to maintain a healthy weight. Women who are overweight or obese may experience more frequent and severe hot flashes.
Explore mind-body practices. Some early-stage research has shown that hypnotherapy and mindfulness meditation could help with management of hot flashes.

Find more facts about hot flashes in this fact sheet (PDF, 146KB) provided by the NIH-funded Study of Women’s Health Across the Nation.
Nonhormonal medications to treat hot flashes

If lifestyle changes are not enough to improve your symptoms, nonhormone options for managing hot flashes may work for you. These may be a good choice if you are unable to take hormones for health reasons or if you are worried about the potential risks.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved the use of paroxetine (Brisdelle), selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) antidepressant, to treat hot flashes associated with menopause. Researchers are studying additional antidepressants that could be prescribed for off-label use to treat this symptom. People who take an antidepressant to help manage hot flashes generally take a lower dose than people who use the medication to treat depression or other psychiatric conditions.

FDA has also approved a medication called fezolinetant (Veozah) to help treat moderate to severe hot flashes caused by menopause. Fezolinetant is a type of drug known as a neurokinin 3 (NK3) receptor antagonist. It works in the part of the brain that regulates body temperature.

When considering any medication, talk with your doctor about whether it is the right medication for you and how you might manage any possible side effects.
Buyer beware: Unproven, nonscientific 'treatments' for hot flashes

You may have heard about black cohosh, DHEA, or soy isoflavones to treat hot flashes. These products are not proven to be effective, and some carry risks such as liver damage.

Phytoestrogens are estrogen-like substances found in some cereals, vegetables, and legumes (like soy), and herbs. They may work in the body like a weak form of estrogen, but they have not been consistently shown to be effective in research studies, and their long-term safety is unclear.

Always talk with your doctor before taking any herb or supplement. Currently, it is unknown whether these herbs or other "natural" products are helpful or safe to treat your hot flashes or other menopausal symptoms. The benefits and risks are still being studied.
Using hormones to treat hot flashes and night sweats

Some women may choose to take hormones to treat their hot flashes or night sweats. A hormone is a chemical substance made by an organ like the thyroid gland or ovary. During the menopausal transition, the ovaries begin to work less effectively, and the production of hormones like estrogen and progesterone declines over time. It is believed that such changes cause hot flashes and other menopausal symptoms.

Hormone therapy steadies the levels of estrogen and progesterone in the body. It is a very effective treatment for hot flashes in women who are able to use it. They can also help with vaginal dryness, sleep, and maintaining bone density.

Hormone treatments (sometimes called menopausal hormone therapy, or MHT) can take the form of pills, patches, rings, implants, gels, or creams. Patches, which stick to the skin, may be best for women with cardiac risk factors, such as a family history of heart disease.

There are risks associated with taking hormones, including increased risk of heart attack, stroke, blood clots, breast cancer, gallbladder disease, and dementia. Women are encouraged to discuss the risks with their health care provider. The risks vary by a woman's age and whether she has had a hysterectomy. Women who still have a uterus would take estrogen combined with progesterone or another therapy to protect the uterus. Progesterone is added to estrogen to protect the uterus against cancer, but it also seems to increase the risk of blood clots and stroke.
Research on risks of menopause hormone therapy

In 2002, a study that was part of the Women's Health Initiative (WHI), funded by NIH, was stopped early because participants who received a certain combination and dosage of estrogen with progesterone were found to have a significantly higher risk of stroke, heart attacks, breast cancer, dementia, urinary incontinence, and gallbladder disease. This study raised significant concerns at the time and caused many women to become wary of using hormones.

However, research reported since then found that younger women are at less risk and have more potential benefits than was suggested by the WHI study. The negative effects of the WHI hormone treatments mostly affected women who were over age 60 and postmenopausal. Newer hormone formulations seem to have less risk and may provide benefits that outweigh possible risks for certain women during the menopausal transition. Studies continue to evaluate the benefit, risk, and long-term safety of hormone therapy.

Before taking hormones to treat menopause symptoms, talk with your doctor about your medical and family history and any concerns or questions about taking hormones. If hormone therapy is right for you, it should be at the lowest dose, for the shortest period of time it remains effective, and in consultation with a doctor.
You may also be interested inReading general information about menopause
Finding out more about sleep problems and menopause
Downloading or sharing an infographic with tips for staying healthy during and after menopause
For more information on treatments for hot flashes


National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health
888-644-6226
info@nccih.nih.gov
www.nccih.nih.gov


The Menopause Society
440-442-7550
info@menopause.org
www.menopause.org

SOURCE:

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/menopause/hot-flashes-what-can-i-do(accessed 7.7.26)

Educational psychology within the polycrisis

Dr Dan O’Hare and Dr Louise Edgington call for commitment and action.

28 January 2026


We are living in an existential moment for children, society, and our profession.

This is a time of deep rupture. Climate breakdown, biodiversity loss, ecological collapse, accelerating inequality, the extreme concentration of wealth and power, geopolitical instability, and rapidly advancing technologies such as artificial intelligence are not distant threats or abstract concerns. They are interconnected, mutually reinforcing crises, a polycrisis, and they are reshaping the conditions of childhood, learning, development, safety, and mental health. This polycrisis threatens the conditions that sustain human life and wellbeing

We were prompted to write this piece following the recent publication of the UK National Security Assessment that identifies ecological collapse as a major threat to national security. This was a frightening document to read. The National Security Assessment finds, with high confidence, that 'Every critical ecosystem is on a pathway to collapse – irreversible loss of function beyond repair'. The evidence for the crisis we are in is no longer contested. What is now in question is how institutions, including our own, choose to respond.

As a profession, Educational Psychology has been largely silent.

This silence is not neutral, it is a choice. And in the context of foreseeable, escalating harm to children and young people, it is an ethically and professionally dangerous one.

Educational Psychologists are explicitly trained to understand development within context – a professional strength which is often espoused. We know that children's wellbeing is shaped not only by individual factors, but by social, economic, political, technological, and ecological systems. When those systems are destabilising, the impacts on children are profound and unavoidable.

From a children's rights perspective, continued inaction is indefensible.

The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child affirms children's rights to life, survival and development (Article 6), to the highest attainable standard of health (Article 24), to education (Article 28), and to have their best interests treated as a primary consideration in all decisions affecting them (Article 3). Climate and ecological breakdown threaten all of these rights. No meaningful engagement with this reality means we are failing to uphold the principles that underpin our work.

Educational Psychologists are duty bound to prevent harm, promote wellbeing, and attend to the wider contexts shaping development. When systemic and scientifically established threats to children's futures are repeatedly evidenced and accelerating, professional silence cannot be framed as caution or neutrality. It indicates that our professional ethical obligations are not being met in practice.

It is alarming that Educational Psychology has failed to meaningfully engage with mitigation and adaptation, despite their centrality to the climate and ecological crisis.Mitigation involves acting to reduce the drivers of harm, including challenging systems, practices, and policies that exacerbate environmental destruction, inequality, and intergenerational injustice.
Adaptation involves preparing children, schools, communities, and services to live in a profoundly altered world dominated by instability, supporting psychological, social, and systemic resilience in the face of unavoidable disruption, loss, and uncertainty.

As a profession we have not seriously interrogated what mitigation or adaptation mean for our theories, training, ethical frameworks, leadership, or day-to-day practice. We have not asked how Educational Psychology must change in a future marked by climate anxiety, displacement, ecological grief, disruption to education, and repeated systemic shocks. We have not sufficiently questioned how our current models risk pathologising children's entirely rational emotional responses to a world in crisis.

Critically, these challenges cannot be addressed at the individual level alone.

The polycrisis demands multi-level action:At the individual level, supporting children and young people without individualising or medicalising systemic harm.
At the group and school level, helping educational systems to adapt their cultures, curricula, and practices in psychologically informed ways.
At the community level, strengthening collective resilience and mutual care.
At the national and policy level, using psychological expertise to influence preventative, ethical, and rights-based responses to systemic risk.

To continue focusing predominantly on individual adjustment, while the wider conditions of childhood deteriorate, is not only inadequate, it is professionally obsolete.

History will not judge our profession on whether this work felt comfortable or aligned neatly with existing frameworks. It will judge whether we acted when the evidence was clear that the stakes were existential. We are at a crossroads: either Educational Psychology evolves to meet the realities children are inheriting, or it continues to operate as if those realities are peripheral to its remit, ushering in its own obsolescence.

We further recognise that in times of existential crisis, reliance on parliamentary or institutional processes alone have repeatedly proven insufficient. History shows that transformative change has been driven by collective resistance including grassroots struggle, community organising, and acts of civil disobedience that disrupt harmful norms. These are predictable and often necessary expressions of collective distress. Educational Psychology cannot meaningfully engage with the polycrisis while ignoring the psychological and social power of collective action as a route to change.

There are already good examples of educational psychologists taking the matter into their own hands and shifting the focus of their work to acknowledge and confront the realities of the polycrisis. EcoEdPsychs, a grassroots community group, has worked to ensure that there is explicit reference to the climate and ecological crisis in the accreditation standards for trainee educational psychologists. This work has at its core an explicit recognition of the interconnected nature of climate justice, social, political, health, technological and economic concerns. Individual EPs have contributed to work with the Department for Education to sharpen their focus and understanding of issues relating to climate breakdown, sustainability, inequality and the psychological effects this has on children and teachers. Individual EP work has also been used by the UK Health Security Agency to synthesise the evidence base relating to climate change and mental health. Educators and schools are increasingly seeking out climate-aware EPs to help them understand how to support young people with the challenges we face.

Work by individual EPs or small groups is essential, but the polycrisis is fundamentally systemic and cannot be solved through individual efforts alone. To find solutions to these interconnected problems at the level of individual practice obscures the scale of the challenge and the need for collective action. Organisational statements and commitments can often appear symbolic, but they are not inconsequential. Statements and commitments from our professional leadership bodies establish legitimacy, signal priorities, offer a starting point for accountability and determine what work is considered permissible and valued within the profession.

Organisational commitments that are not followed through, with actions that rest on proper resourcing, risk running counter to any efforts. We have both been part of the British Psychological Society's Climate and Environmental Action Coordinating Group for the past three years. The members of this group represent dedicated climate, environmental and psychological experts in their respective fields. We have experienced the passion, energy and commitment of those members in every meeting. We have also watched in dismay as resourcing for the already voluntary group has dwindled, creating what has felt like a purposeful organisational limbo. In the context of the polycrisis this seems confusing at best. Such a group needs increased status, organisational clout and firm resourcing commitments over a number of years.

We need, and would urge, our professional leadership bodies, The Association of Educational Psychologists, The British Psychological Society, The National Association of Principal EPs, The Health and Care Professions Council, and The Department for Education, to act urgently and decisively commensurate with this moment.

Specific actions that we would see as important in this context are:The immediate convening of emergency, cross-sector discussions and professional CPD addressing the implications of the polycrisis for children, education, mental health, and educational psychological practice.
A profession-wide re-evaluation of the role of Educational Psychologists, explicitly engaging with climate and ecological breakdown, inequality, technological risk, and global instability.
The development of ethical, practice, and policy frameworks that explicitly address mitigation and adaptation across individual, community, and systemic levels.
Clear public leadership and time-bound commitments, recognising that delay itself constitutes harm.

Silence is no longer tenable and incrementalism is not sufficient. The conditions of childhood are changing rapidly, and our profession must change with them.

Dr Dan O'Hare

Dr Louise Edgington

SOURCE:

https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/educational-psychology-within-polycrisis(accessed 7.7.26)

How to find hope in a polycrisis

We’re living in a time of multiple, distinct yet overlapping crises and threats. Our journalist, Ella Rhodes, asks if psychology can help us to find a way to understand our strange new world and foster positive change.

03 July 2026

By Ella Rhodes




Every generation has lived through frightening times. Ancient civilisations rose and fell, modern history is pockmarked by wars, pandemics, genocide, inequality and struggle. But our current time feels distinct – we're more aware than ever of what is happening to our climate, conflict rages across the globe, and we are still struggling with the fallout from the Covid pandemic. Yet even in this backdrop of existential threat, we have little choice but to carry on with our normal lives – finding work, keeping our families housed and fed, paying the bills. Is it any wonder most of us feel powerless in the face of the polycrisis?

The World Economic Forum's 2023 Global Risks Report defines the polycrisis as situations where crises interact in a way where their overall impact 'far exceeds the sum of each part'. Like many, I often wonder what can help us to live in a time like this. So, I asked psychologists focusing on these current threats for their thoughts.
The climate crisis

According to UK government surveys, around 80 per cent of people say they are very or fairly concerned about climate change. This is a pattern seen across the globe, with wide support for taking action. Our concern also impacts our behaviour – Whitmore-Williams Professor of Psychology Susan Clayton from The College of Wooster in Ohio tells me that distress about the climate impacts people's decision-making in all areas of life, including careers, education, housing and finances. Sometimes, this distress can feel so all-consuming that we freeze.

'People are overwhelmed by the multiple existential threats we seem to be facing, and one response is just to tamp down on their emotional response and avoid thinking about the issues,' says Clayton. 'Of course, in the long run, avoidance is not an effective strategy'.

But, if we feel powerless to do anything about it, and the crisis is being caused by structural and global stressors, surely, as individuals, there's nothing we can do but avoid?

'Individual behaviour alone will not stop climate change,' agrees Clayton, but she says there is evidence that working together to campaign for systemic change can help give us more sense of control. 'There are ways of communicating about climate change which can help people to take action. Feeling our core values are at risk, having activist role models, and communicating in a way that emphasises personal risk can also help to drive people to work towards change. It's also important not to dismiss anger', adds Clayton. It can be a 'powerfully energising emotion'.
Crisis of community

If, as Clayton states, anger can promote positive action, is there a downside to us collectively drawing on this resource to demand change? According to Aleksandra Cichocka, Professor of Political Psychology at the University of Kent, there is.

'Feeling out of control and frustrated about the state of social affairs can make people cling to other things that make them feel more positively about themselves, at least in the short term,' she tells me.

'For example, they may want to invest in a strong positive image of their own country.' This concept is known as 'collective narcissism', explains Cichocka – it's a belief that one's own country is superior, exceptional and deserving of privileged treatment. Cichocka has found that frustrations surrounding our fundamental needs can be related to higher collective narcissism, with people feeling the need to emphasise their country's strength and independence.

However, high levels of collective narcissism are not necessarily related to building a sense of community or supporting others who live in their country, Cichocka tells me. 'We have found that people were willing to support policies that would make their country look good in the international arena, even if they might hurt fellow citizens. One example was Donald Trump's proposal to slow down testing for COVID-19. Our research found people high in collective narcissism would support that policy even if they were aware that it meant the virus would be more difficult to contain, simply because it would mean the US would look better in terms of infection rates.'

So how do we emerge from the paradoxical state where the building of community, belonging, and connection that could help people restore a sense of control is threatened by collective narcissism? Perhaps we start by looking at those in power.

Cichocka explains that some political leaders, and those leading social movements, are particularly skilled at making people feel more disadvantaged than they truly are.

'Consider societal groups that have traditionally been more privileged, such as men. Even though they may have lost some status, they still enjoy a privileged position in our society. Yet certain messages may make them feel like their status is threatened and that could make them feel vulnerable, even if this is objectively not the case. National populist leaders, for example, are skilful at changing the narrative to make people feel at a disadvantage. This isn't to say that actual, objective threats don't influence people's attitudes and behaviours, but it is often about how people perceive them. Around 20 years ago, we saw fewer differences between Republicans and Democrats in the US, for example, in terms of how they viewed national identities. Now, the way they construct identity and wider societal issues is diverging. In this way, certain threats and issues are seen as more suitable to be concerned about depending on your political affiliation… and obviously, political leaders give cues with respect to which of them are worth your attention, and then motivated processes kick in. People might, for example, downplay certain statistics in favour of others.'
The misinformation crisis

As Cichocka points out, if those in charge are making decisions about the information we consume and how it is shaped, how do we keep ourselves safe in such a minefield of misinformation?

Professor of Social Psychology at the University of Cambridge, Sander van der Linden, is the ideal expert to turn to on the subject. He is known for his work on approaches to providing psychological 'vaccination' against misinformation. I ask him how we can cope when information about these crises is coming at us constantly.

Humans tend to have a 'finite pool of worry', he explains. 'In surveys that ask people to rank the most important threats, what you see is that when there are things going on in people's lives that affect them in a very visceral way, whether it's unemployment or a pandemic, issues like climate change get replaced by shorter-term threats. People can't be fully engaged with long-term risks when there are short-term disasters happening too. The finite pool of things that people can worry about differs from person to person, but psychologically, people cope by parking certain threats or crises.'

Van der Linden agrees that when regimes take over popular media and education systems, it makes it incredibly difficult to think critically for ourselves. 'In the US, this issue becomes more and more relevant every day, and what's going on there in terms of authoritarianism is also spilling over to the UK.
'When people are manipulated, they make choices they wouldn't have made otherwise'

Across the world, there is decreasing freedom of the press. In the UK, much of the media is owned by a small number of companies, which makes the infrastructure more vulnerable to takeovers. There aren't just issues with trust in the media… it spills over to scientists and experts in so many areas. Trust in each other is the fabric of democracy. I'd say the polycrisis impacts human interaction on many different dimensions in quite negative ways.'

One main concern van der Linden points to is the democratic backsliding we see across the globe. He stresses that authoritarian regimes aim to create political apathy. 'It's a way for regimes to gain soft power. If we've learnt any lessons from history and standing up to authoritarianism, it is not to engage in anticipatory obedience or not capitulate to what an authoritarian government is expected to demand. The idea is people should not think "well, this is going to happen anyway, so we may as well sacrifice ourselves in advance, to control what we're giving up a little bit before they take it all away."'

Speaking about his main area of misinformation research, van der Linden says the proliferation of false and misleading information in the media and online limits people's agency. 'When people are manipulated, they make choices they wouldn't have made otherwise. Some people suggest that intervening in misinformation restricts people's freedom, but I don't think that can be the case when people's choices and environments are polluted by false information which they don't know about.'

Van der Linden's work has made him the target of harassment from hostile actors, and his colleagues have faced physical threats due to their research. 'That's why I'm doing more of this than ever,' he says, 'talking about the value of science and why we should trust it, and why science matters for policy. I think it's important for scientists and psychologists to speak about these things, so the public has a better idea of the value of their tax money being spent on science.'
Collective action

We've heard that social processes can push people apart. But what, if anything, can we do to bring us further together? At the core of Dr Sara Vestergren's (from the University of Reading) research is looking at the power of collective action, including protests and activism. 'We do know that taking action collectively is beneficial psychologically,' she explains. 'First of all, there is shared identity – helping to build a support system where you support others and they support you, which is empowering. Having relationships and bonds and feeling social connectedness makes you feel good.

'As well as improving our psychological wellbeing, collective action is pretty much behind every social change, including getting votes for women, and improving equality. Gaining equality has some way to go, but collective action has helped us to step closer to it.'

Vestergren explains that there is an over-reliance on targeting individual behaviour as a way to affect social change. 'It's an easy way out. If you put the responsibility on the individual, then the system doesn't need to change. For example, it's a lot easier to tell people they need to recycle to help with the climate crisis, but there's a lot of other things that require bigger changes and support from the government.'

Vestergren says that Social Psychology can offer a lot by helping people to work together to effect change. 'There are three main variables that are important for getting involved in collective action. People need to have a feeling that a social movement is something they belong to, and it needs to align with our values. Then you might start getting involved and develop a shared identity, which is important for sustained collective action. There is also usually a perceived, preferably collective, injustice. The third variable comes from Resource Mobilisation Theory, and that's collective efficacy; you need to feel like you can achieve something.'

Despite the social change that comes about through collective action and the individual psychological and physical benefits, activists are judged in a negative way. 'There are barriers to collective action, often we don't think about what we've actually achieved in activism,' says Vestergren. She points to groups such as Insulate Britain, which blockaded UK motorways, ports and roads in London and were met with a less than favourable response in the UK press. However, what isn't as well documented is that a review of these protests, by the Social Change Lab, found this action raised a debate on UK home insulation and may have had a role in bringing about a £1 billion home insulation policy from the government.

While there are risks for getting involved in collective action – particularly in the form of protests – Vestergren says that collective action can take less physical forms. 'There are a lot of privileged people, including myself, who have a responsibility to act and support where others can't and provide opportunities to act.'
A route out of despair

So how do we navigate feelings of despair and hopelessness in these most difficult of times? Do the experts have any takeaways that can help us? Cichocka accepts 'there is no one simple solution'. While she used to believe education and information could be the answer, she is aware that information alone won't help if people are not motivated to hear it. 'I think we need to work across disciplines and sectors to develop better theories and interventions that would tackle issues more systematically', she says, 'but it has to go hand in hand with policy and structural changes.'

Van der Linden says his approach to tackling misinformation through inoculation was developed 'by the people, for the people'. He is hopeful that, 'If enough people are pre-bunked or vaccinated against misinformation, then that misinformation won't have a chance to spread. I think the way to do that is through interpersonal or social inoculation,' he says. 'People can help to inoculate their friends, neighbours and colleagues… just as we can pass on misinformation to others, we can pass on inoculation.'

Sara Vestergren emphasises the importance of collective action, not only because of its individual benefits, but also the broader societal changes it can bring about. 'Many peaceful protests go on, which aren't reported because there's no violence or headlines. People forget that signing a petition or sharing information on social media can also be collective.

If you look online for causes you'd like to get involved with, there will be groups in your community. If you want to do more, to join a group, there are lots of networks online. Get involved by educating yourself, because if you're educated, you're also likely to spread that knowledge.'
Taking back control

If I've learnt anything from the psychologists who spoke to me, not giving in to despair and regaining a feeling of control feels the most vital. Taking some control of how we cope with risks and focusing on really improving our communities, rather than clinging to false images of our countries as perfect and all-powerful, can help us move away from collective narcissism.

There is a silver lining, though. Each generation tends to believe that society marched steadily forward until quite recently, only to take a sudden turn for the worse. It's a pattern that shows up again and again: people look back on the past as a period of coherence, shared values, and steady improvement, while the present feels more fractured, uncertain, and off course. Tim Wildschut and Constantine Sedikides (University of Southampton) have studied this recurring perception and given it a name: declinism.

'Cultural shifts, new technologies, and changing norms can make the world seem unfamiliar, even destabilising, especially when they challenge what once felt fixed,' they told me. 'Memory also plays tricks, smoothing over past tensions and amplifying present anxieties, so that yesterday appears more orderly than it truly was. It's worth recognising this tendency and making a conscious effort not to let it influence our outlook more than it deserves.'

So, my closing message to you. Educate yourself about misinformation, refuse to spread it and support others to do the same: this can give us agency over both our information and our physical environments. And take action as a collective, through protest and activism, whether in real life or online, to help us affect the change we truly want to see in the world.

SOURCE:

https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/how-find-hope-polycrisis(accessed 7.7.26)

Sex activities and risk

Find out about the risks of getting a sexually transmitted infection (STI) from different sexual activities.

In nearly every case, condoms will help protect you against this risk. Learn about the risks associated with various sexual activities.
Vaginal penetrative sex

This is when a man's penis enters a woman's vagina.

If a condom is not used, there's a risk of pregnancy and getting or passing on STIs, including:chlamydia
genital herpes
genital warts
gonorrhoea
HIV
syphilis

Infections can be passed on even if the penis doesn't fully enter the vagina or the man doesn't ejaculate (come). This is because infections can be present in pre-ejaculate fluid (pre-come) and some can be passed on when your genital area touches another person's genitals.

Even shallow insertion of the penis into the vagina (sometimes called dipping) carries risks for both partners. Using a condom can help protect against infections.
Preventing pregnancy

There are many methods of contraception to prevent pregnancy, including the contraceptive injection, contraceptive patch, contraceptive implant and combined pill.

Bear in mind using condoms is the only method of contraception that protects against both pregnancy and STIs, so always use a condom as well as your chosen method of contraception.

Find out more about contraception, including the 15 different methods
Anal penetrative sex

This is when a man's penis enters (penetrates) his partner's anus. Men and women might choose to have anal sex whether they're gay or straight.

Anal sex has a higher risk of spreading STIs than many other types of sexual activity. This is because the lining of the anus is thin and can easily be damaged, which makes it more vulnerable to infection.

STIs and other infections that can be passed on during anal sex include: chlamydia
genital herpes
genital warts
gonorrhoea
HIV
syphilis
hepatitis C

Using stronger condoms designed for anal sex helps protect against STIs.

If you use lubricants, only use water-based ones, which are available from pharmacies. Oil-based lubricants such as lotion and moisturiser can cause condoms to break or fail.

Get tips on using condoms properly.
Oral sex

Oral sex involves sucking or licking the vagina, penis or anus.

There's a risk of getting or passing on STIs if you're giving or receiving oral sex. The risk increases if either of you has sores or cuts around the mouth, genitals or anus. Avoid brushing your teeth or using dental floss before oral sex because it can cause your gums to bleed.

Viruses and bacteria, which may be present in semen, vaginal fluid or blood, can travel more easily into a partner's body through breaks in the skin.

Generally, the risk of infection is lower when you receive oral sex than when you give someone oral sex. However, it is still possible for STIs to be passed on.

STIs and other infections that can be passed on through oral sex include:chlamydia
herpes – type 1 and type 2, which can cause cold sores around the mouth and herpes infection of the genitals or anus
genital warts
gonorrhoea
hepatitis A, hepatitis B and hepatitis C
HIV
syphilis

If you have a cold sore and you give your partner oral sex, you can infect them with the herpes virus. Similarly, herpes can pass from the genitals to the mouth.

The risk of passing on or getting HIV during oral sex is lower than anal or vaginal sex without a condom. However, the risk is increased if there are any cuts or sores in or around the mouth, genitals or anus.

You can make oral sex safer by using a condom as it acts as a barrier between the mouth and the penis.

Choose a condom that does not contain spermicide, because spermicide can increase the risk of passing on HIV. Also, make sure it has the CE mark or BSI kite mark, which means the condom meets high safety standards.
Fingering

This is when someone inserts one or more fingers into their partner's vagina or anus. It's not common for fingering to spread STIs, but there are still risks.

If there are any cuts or sores on the fingers, no matter how small, the risk of passing on or getting an STI increases.

Fingering can also spread small amounts of poo which can cause the STI shigella. Washing your hands after fingering can reduce the change of this.

Some people gradually insert the whole hand into a partner's vagina or anus; this is called fisting. Not everyone chooses to do this.

Again, the risk of infection is higher if either person has any cuts or broken skin that comes into contact with their partner. You can lower the risk by wearing surgical gloves.
Sex toys

This covers a wide range of items, including vibrators and sex dolls. Any object used in sex can be called a sex toy, whether it's designed for this use or not.

It's important to keep sex toys clean. If you're sharing sex toys, make sure you wash them between each use and always put a new condom on them each time.

Sharing sex toys has risks, including getting and passing on STIs such as chlamydia, syphilis and herpes. If there are any cuts or sores around the vagina, anus or penis and there's blood, there's an increased risk of passing on hepatitis B, hepatitis C and HIV.
Urine and faeces

Some people choose to urinate (pee) on a partner as part of their sex life. There's a risk of passing on an infection if the person who's being urinated on has broken skin.

Faeces (poo) carries more of a risk. This is because it contains organisms that can cause illness or infection, for example shigella. This is a bacterial infection of the intestine that causes severe diarrhoea and is often mistaken for food poisoning. It can be caught during oral-anal sex and giving oral sex after anal sex when even a tiny amount of infected poo can get into the mouth and cause infection.

Although faeces don't usually contain HIV (unless they contain blood infected with HIV), they can contain the hepatitis A virus. There's a chance of infection when faeces come into contact with broken skin, the mouth or the eyes.
Cutting

Some people choose to cut their own skin or their partner's skin as part of sex. This is also called piquerism. There's a risk of infections such as HIV, hepatitis B and hepatitis C being passed from person to person through broken skin.

No sexual contact is needed. Simply getting blood on a partner is enough to transmit these infections.

To lower the chances of infection, cutting and piercing equipment should be sterilised and not shared.

More in Sexual health

SOURCE:

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/sexual-health/sex-activities-and-risk/(accessed 1.7.26)

New study highlights the day-to-day importance of autistic flow

Work by Daniella Wain and colleagues details a non-pathologising view of flow states in autistic individuals, and how they maintain wellbeing

03 March 2026

By Emily Reynolds


Flow state is typically described as the feeling of time falling away as we become completely absorbed in an activity. For autistic people, this kind of deep immersion ("autistic flow") can be especially intense — and, new research suggests, important for day-to-day functioning. Writing in Counselling and Psychotherapy Research, Daniella Wain and colleagues show that flow is not only pleasurable, but plays a crucial role in self-regulation, influencing how autistic people manage emotions, cope with overwhelm, and engage with the world.

To understand what it feels like to move into, be in, and come out of deep states of flow, the researchers interviewed ten UK-based autistic adults using open, flexible questions that allowed participants to describe their experiences in their own words. Participants were treated as experts in autistic flow through their own lived experience, and were later invited to review the team's interpretations to ensure they felt accurate and true.

Three main themes emerged. The first showed how enjoyable flow states can be, and how essential for wellbeing: participants described flow as a source of real relief from everyday stress, especially when compared to noisy, unpredictable, or socially demanding environments. Being in flow supported emotional regulation and a sense of connection to the self and others, with one participant noting that it helped them feel "more calm" and better able to understand their feelings when overstimulated.

The benefits of flow often extended beyond the activity itself, too. Some reported reduced anxiety and overwhelm long afterwards, with flow leaving them feeling more regulated and able to cope with daily life. As one participant put it: "Even when things get a bit noisier, everything still feels a little bit more muted. Kind of like I've got earplugs in."

The second theme focused on how autistic ways of being in the world can intensify experiences both in and out of flow. Participants described a characteristic depth of focus that helped them enter and sustain flow by filtering out distractions, often captured through metaphors such as "tunnel vision," "a bubble," or being "in the zone." This depth of focus could be deeply engaging.

At the same time, this "tunnel vision" meant that interruptions were especially disruptive. Sudden sensory changes could severely cut through focus, making it hard to switch tasks or divide attention. In some cases, deep absorption was dismissively misread by others as being "in a world of [their] own," rather than recognised as a meaningful or regulating state.

The final theme highlighted the importance of predictability. Participants described flow as something that required a sense of safety, closely tied to having control over their environment and knowing what to expect. Unexpected interruptions like sudden noise or changes in routine were often experienced as particularly intrusive and distressing, leading to emotional overload or difficulty returning to flow.

Even anticipating disruption could prevent people from entering flow at all, with some describing the state as "quite fragile" and easily broken. In response, participants developed deliberate strategies to increase predictability, such as choosing quiet times of day to focus, setting clear boundaries with others, or selecting environments with shared expectations around silence, allowing them to feel safe enough to immerse themselves fully.

The study was based on interviews with a fairly small group of autistic adults who used verbal communication, so the findings may not be universal. Many of the participants also had ADHD, meaning the findings may apply more broadly to neurodivergent experiences of flow rather than autism alone.

In light of their findings, the team suggests that autistic flow should be reconceptualised, away from a pathologising lens and towards something more positive and essential for wellbeing. For autistic people, flow may not be a sign of 'withdrawal' or escape, but a rewarding, adaptive way of regulating, coping, and connecting — with others, themselves, and the world.

Read the paper in full:
Wain, D., Williams, G., Charura, D., Hamilton, L. G., Milton, D., Wortman, D., & Heasman, B. (2026). Transitioning in and out of autistic flow: A qualitative study presenting a non‐pathologising approach to autistic well‐being and conceptualising autistic ways of being in clinical and therapeutic settings. Counselling and Psychotherapy Research, 26(1). https://doi.org/10.1002/capr.70073

SOURCE:

https://www.bps.org.uk/research-digest/new-study-highlights-day-day-importance-autistic-flow(accessed 1.7.26)

Unboxing childhood: Parenting in the context of gender stereotypes

Alina Morawska on themes included in her new British Psychological Society book.

29 June 2026


When I was pregnant, 'what are you having?' was one of the most common questions that came my way. The obvious answer to that question is 'a baby' but clearly that's not what people wanted to know. When I revealed our choice not to find out the baby's sex, quite a few responded with surprise and a further question: 'so, how are you going to prepare?' I'd had very limited prior experience with babies, but we had attended all the antenatal classes, read a lot of books, and moreover I had a postgraduate degree in psychology. I was a 'parenting expert'. But was there something that I had missed?

With my scientist hat on, I conducted a systematic review (Morawska, 2020). I also came across a whole host of examples of the recognition given to how culture and gender interact. These included efforts to reduce the sex stereotypical marketing of toys to children (Fine & Rush, 2018); the adoption of policies to encourage girls' participation in STEM; gender-transformative programs (Levy et al., 2020); and debates about the impact of early sexualisation of children.

Once my review was complete, I was left with the feeling that I hadn't missed a step in my personal preparation… but perhaps I had not fully considered the sociocultural influences on the development of gender roles, the part this might play in ongoing gender inequities, and the implications of this for parents.
Expectations, attitudes, and behaviours

The development of stereotyped gender roles appears to be shaped from the earliest months and years of life (Halim et al., 2017). Most children are exposed to a continuing barrage of stereotyped sex roles from birth (Haines et al., 2016). At the most basic level, parents decide whether to dress their baby in pink or blue clothes, what toys to buy, and how to decorate their baby's nursery. They also have expectations and attitudes, both implicit and explicit, about sex roles, which influence how they interact with their child, how they communicate, and what behaviours they model (Endendijk et al., 2017; Morawska et al., 2025). For example, pregnant mothers describe their foetus' movement differently when they know their baby's sex (Rothman, 1986) and mothers have shown differences in expectations of physical performance of crawling babies (Mondschein et al., 2000) and sports and maths competence of primary schoolers (Tenenbaum & Leaper, 2003).

Babies come into the world primed for interaction with others and look for patterns, and gender is a salient cue in early environments. Even before they identify with being a boy or a girl, toddlers can sort items by gender (e.g., Serbin et al., 2001) – trucks are for boys and dolls are for girls. But there is very little evidence that many of the gender differences most of us can readily recite (pink vs blue, ballet vs rugby) are driven by innate differences between sexes.

Actually, there is considerable evidence for greater levels of gender similarity than differences (Hyde, 2014) and even in the areas of greatest difference, there is a huge degree of overlap between men and women (Joel et al., 2015). And there is a cost to emphasising gender differences: parents and other caregivers may overlook their children's abilities and needs because of their gendered expectations. Ultimately, we might be narrowing children's choices and opportunities when we assume that they are not interested in something because of their sex.
So, what can parents do?

A good starting point is to reflect on your own expectations in relation to your child's sex and their interests, preferences and activities. To what extent are those expectations shaped by stereotypes? How do these expectations and attitudes shape your parenting and interactions with your child? It's also important to consider the extent to which these expectations and attitudes are consistent with your broader values and ways you want to parent. If they're not, then consider what needs to change.

Another important element is to think about what you are modelling for your child. This can be the different roles parents play in families, such as who does which chores, but also how sex and gender are spoken about, what jokes are made about men and women and how parents talk about themselves and about their child. You might also consider what your child is exposed to in the media and online that might shape their views and attitudes.

Tune into and listen to what your child prefers and is interested in without making assumptions based on their sex. Just because they have chosen to play with the doll (or not) doesn't necessarily imply anything about their sex-based preferences. To create an environment that is responsive to a child's individual preferences, it is important to offer diversity of choices in toys, clothes, activities, and chores, that signal to your child that they can pick and choose what interests them and that you value their individuality.

When children do make choices – whether those be stereotypical or counter-stereotypical ones – watch your own reactions. What are your thoughts? Do they confirm your assumptions? How does the choice make you feel? And importantly how do you react – do you applaud the stereotypical choice or make a big deal out of a counter-stereotypical choice? Your reaction provides implicit signals to your child about what is ok and what is not.

As children get older, talk to them about diversity and individual differences and choices. Create an environment where children are willing to talk and ask questions that help them understand the complexities of their environment. Gender stereotypes exist and children are likely to be exposed to sexism at some point, so helping them recognise what's happening and find ways to respond in ways that promote agency and a sense of self-efficacy are important.

Talk to other caregivers about your approach – not everyone is going to necessarily share the same values and attitudes, but you can be clear on your approach to parenting.
The complexities of gendered environments

Ultimately, the aim is not to create an environment where sex and gender do not exist, but one that offers choices and options that are responsive to the child's individual needs and preferences and their developmental stage. For older children, it's about providing opportunities to understand gender stereotypes and how these can be navigated.

At this stage, while broad-based effective, evidence-based strategies to support parents in promoting the development of skills and capabilities in all children exist (Doyle et al., 2023) ones that focus on aspects of gendered stereotypes and environments do not. Parents report they are interested in supporting less stereotyped environments (Gates et al., 2026) so we need more research to better understand how parents and children can be best supported to navigate the complexities of gendered environments.


Alina Morawska, PhD; Parenting and Family Support Centre, School of Psychology, The University of Queensland
Key Topics in Parenting and Family Psychology, by Alina Morawska and Amy Mitchell, is published as part of the British Psychological Society’s ‘Key Topics’ series, in association with Routledge.
See also our ‘Parenting’ collection.


The Parenting and Family Support Centre is partly funded by royalties stemming from published resources of the Triple P – Positive Parenting Program, which is developed and owned by The University of Queensland (UQ). Royalties are also distributed to the Faculty of Health, Medicine and Behavioural Sciences at UQ and contributory authors of published Triple P resources. Triple P International (TPI) Pty Ltd is a private company licensed by Uniquest Pty Ltd on behalf of UQ, to publish and disseminate Triple P worldwide. Dr Morawska has no share or ownership of TPI, but does receive royalties from TPI. TPI had no involvement in the writing of this manuscript. Dr Morawska is an employee at UQ.
References

Doyle, F. L., Morawska, A., Higgins, D. J., et al. (2023). Policies are needed to increase the reach and impact of evidence-based parenting supports: A call for a population-based approach to supporting parents, children, and families. Child Psychiatry & Human Development, 54, 891–904. doi:10.1007/s10578-021-01309-0

Endendijk, J. J., Groeneveld, M. G., van der Pol, L. D., et al. (2017). Gender differences in child aggression: Relations with gender-differentiated parenting and parents' gender-role stereotypes. Child development, 88(1), 299–316. doi:10.1111/cdev.12589

Fine, C., & Rush, E. (2018). "Why Does all the Girls have to Buy Pink Stuff?" The Ethics and Science of the Gendered Toy Marketing Debate. Journal of Business Ethics, 149(4), 769-784. doi:10.1007/s10551-016-3080-3

Gates, S., Morawska, A., Lee, H. M., & Hepburn, S. (2026). Parental perceptions of gender-neutral parenting. Journal of Child and Family Studies 35, 947–962. doi:10.1007/s10826-026-03262-9

Haines, E. L., Deaux, K., & Lofaro, N. (2016). The times they are a-changing … or are they not? A comparison of gender stereotypes, 1983–2014. Psychology of Women Quarterly, 40(3), 353-363. doi:10.1177/0361684316634081

Halim, M. L. D., Ruble, D. N., Tamis-LeMonda, C. S., et al. (2017). Gender Attitudes in Early Childhood: Behavioral Consequences and Cognitive Antecedents. Child development, 88(3), 882-899. doi:10.1111/cdev.12642

Hyde, J. S. (2014). Gender Similarities and Differences. Annual Review of Psychology, 65(1), 373-398. doi:10.1146/annurev-psych-010213-115057

Joel, D., Berman, Z., Tavor, I., et al. (2015). Sex beyond the genitalia: The human brain mosaic. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 112(50), 15468-15473. doi:10.1073/pnas.1509654112

Levy, J. K., Darmstadt, G. L., Ashby, C., et al. (2020). Characteristics of successful programmes targeting gender inequality and restrictive gender norms for the health and wellbeing of children, adolescents, and young adults: a systematic review. The Lancet Global Health, 8(2), e225-e236. doi:10.1016/S2214-109X(19)30495-4

Mondschein, E. R., Adolph, K. E., & Tamis-LeMonda, C. S. (2000). Gender bias in mothers' expectations about infant crawling. J Exp Child Psychol, 77(4), 304-316. doi:10.1006/jecp.2000.2597

Morawska, A. (2020). The effects of gendered parenting on child development outcomes: A systematic review Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 23(4), 553-576. doi:0.1007/s10567-020-00321-5

Morawska, A., Baker, S., & Hepburn, S. (2025). Sex-based parent attributions for child behaviour. Child Psychiatry & Human Development. doi:10.1007/s10578-025-01942-z

Rothman, B. K. (1986). The Tentative Pregnancy: Prenatal Diagnosis and the Future of Motherhood New York, NY: Penguin Books.

Serbin, L. A., Poulin-Dubois, D., Colburne, K. A., et al. (2001). Gender stereotyping in infancy: Visual preferences for and knowledge of gender-stereotyped toys in the second year. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 25(1), 7-15. doi:10.1080/01650250042000078

Tenenbaum, H. R., & Leaper, C. (2003). Parent-child conversations about science: The socialization of gender inequities? . Developmental Psychology, 39(1), 34-47. doi:10.1037/0012-1649.39.1.34

SOURCE:

https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/unboxing-childhood-parenting-context-gender-stereotypes(accessed 29.6.26)

Sex and Menopause: Treatment for Symptoms

Some women have vaginal dryness when their bodies experience the menopausal transition. This can make sex painful. Women may also experience a tightening of the vaginal opening, burning, itching, and dryness (called vaginal atrophy). Fortunately, there are options for women to address these issues. Talk with your doctor, who can suggest treatment options.
Sex is becoming painful: What can I do?

Pain during sexual activity is called dyspareunia. Like other symptoms of the menopausal transition, dyspareunia may be minor and not greatly affect a woman’s quality of life. However, some women experience severe dyspareunia that prevents them from engaging in any sexual activity without pain.


Many find relief from vaginal dryness during sex by using a nonprescription, water-based lubricant, a variety of which can be found at most grocery and drug stores.

Other women try over-the-counter vaginal moisturizers, which are used regularly and not just during sex to replenish moisture and relieve dryness.

Your doctor might suggest prescription hormones. Local vaginal treatments (such as estrogen creams, rings, or tablets) are often used to treat this symptom. These treatments provide lower hormone doses to the rest of the body than a pill or patch.

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration has approved two nonhormone medications, called ospemifene and prasterone, to treat moderate to severe dyspareunia caused by vaginal changes that occur with menopause. Your doctor can tell you about the risks and benefits of these medications.





Explore this fact sheet (PDF, 154KB) provided by the NIH-funded Study of Women’s Health Across the Nation for more information on sexual functioning and vaginal Health.

Learn more about menopause, and symptoms like hot flashes and sleep problems. You can also visit MyMenoPlan, an evidence-based tool developed by NIA-funded researchers, to learn about treatments and coping strategies and create a personalized plan.
You may also be interested inReading more about sexuality and intimacy in older adults
Learning how to talk with your doctor about sensitive issues
Finding general information about menopause

SOURCE:

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/menopause/sex-and-menopause-treatment-symptoms(accessed 25.6.26)

Are you too old to worry about safe sex?

Age does not protect you from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Older people who are sexually active may be at risk for diseases including syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydial infection, genital herpes, hepatitis B, genital warts, and trichomoniasis.

People who are sexually active, no matter their age, may also be at risk of being infected with HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. In fact, the number of older people with HIV/AIDS is growing. You are at risk for HIV/AIDS if you or your partner has more than one sexual partner, if you are having unprotected sex, or if either you or your partner is sharing needles.

To protect yourself, always use a condom during vaginal or anal sex and use a dental dam or other barrier method during oral sex. Learn more about using condoms, dental dams, and other ways you can prevent STDs.

Talk with your health care provider about ways to protect yourself from STDs and infections during your regular check-ups and if you have any concerns between visits. Remember, you are never too old to be at risk.
What can you do?

There are approaches you can take for an active and enjoyable sex life. If you have a partner, talk openly with them about the changes you are experiencing, and try not to blame yourself or your partner. Take time to enjoy each other and to understand the changes you both may be facing. This time in your life can be an opportunity to form more intimate bonds and explore your sexual relationship in a new way.

You may also find it helpful to talk with a therapist, either alone or with your partner. Some therapists have special training in helping people with sexual problems. If you sense changes in your partner’s attitude toward sex, don’t assume they are no longer interested in you or in having an active sex life with you. Many of the things that cause sexual problems in older adults can be rectified.

For example, if you are experiencing pain due to vaginal dryness, your health care professional or a pharmacist can suggest over-the-counter lubricants or moisturizers to use. Water-based lubricants can be used to make sex more comfortable, whereas moisturizers can be used regularly over time to replenish moisture and reduce dryness. Your provider also might suggest prescription hormones, such as a vaginal estrogen, or nonhormone medications that are also approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to treat painful sex.

If ED is the problem, it can often be managed with medications or other treatments. A health care professional may suggest lifestyle changes, such as limiting alcohol or increasing physical activity, to help reduce ED. A health care professional may also prescribe testosterone for people with low levels of this hormone. Although taking testosterone may help with ED, it may also lead to serious side effects and can affect how other medicines work. Make sure to talk with your health care provider about testosterone therapy and testing your testosterone levels. Be wary of any dietary or herbal supplements promising to treat ED. These products may have dangerous side effects or interact with prescription medicines. Always talk to a health care provider before taking any herb or supplement. Another important reason to see your health care provider for ED is that it may be a sign of an underlying health problem that should be treated, such as clogged blood vessels or nerve damage from diabetes.

Physical problems can change your sex life as you get older. If you are single, dating may be easier later in life when you’re more confident and sure of what you want. If you’re in a relationship, you and your partner may discover new ways to be together as you grow older. Talk to your partner or partners about your needs.
You may also be interested inReading about treatment for sexual symptoms of menopause
Finding suggestions for talking with your doctor about sensitive issues
Learning about bladder health and incontinence

SOURCE:

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/sexuality/sexuality-and-intimacy-older-adults#are-you-too-old-to-worry-about-safe-sex(accessed 25.6.26)

‘While I wait, I think and dream’

Ragan Benson, a student at Manchester Metropolitan University, introduces a partnership with the University of Bethlehem around ‘creativity in waiting’, with contributions from Dr Aspa Paltoglou, Amie Disley, and Dr Fadel Alsawayfa.

22 June 2026


Some weeks ago, as part of our placement with the University of Bethlehem and Dr Fadel Alsawayfa, Dr Aspa Paltoglou (Manchester Metropolitan University) shared with us an article from The Psychologist website by Dr Ayse Burcin Baskurt, on how 'waiting' offers a 'space for creativity to quietly take root and grow'. In our placements meetings we discussed how we could apply 'creativity in waiting' to real-world situations. We were also interested in creativity as an effective way to mitigate trauma (van Westrhenen & Fritz, 2014), helping people narrate traumatic events in a new way (Rubinstein et al., 2025), and to develop skills such as resilience and empathy (Tie et al., 2024). Our focus was an exploration of waiting, trauma, and creativity within the context of Palestine.

We decided to use poetry as our creative medium. The flow of thoughts poetry encourages is a crucial element in developing a sense of 'internal control', as it allows the poet to pause and reflect. Towards the end of the placement, we had a workshop for Education students located in Palestine, to co-reflect on waiting through poetry.

I was thoroughly impressed with the student's commitment to every task we gave them. Whilst we anticipated around 2-5 minutes for each task, the students were still sending us poems they had written 15 minutes after we set that task. It was apparent that they all put a lot of effort into all they wrote, as some truly beautiful poems were produced. Some students followed the prompts we gave exactly, whilst some took a more liberal approach, using it as the starting point and nothing more. Regardless of what they ended up doing, we were thrilled that the students were so willing to partake in our project.

The first task was a development of the game 'I spy', which involved selecting something in your environment you can see and stating how it is making you feel. Some examples included:'In my small eyes, I see birds that make me feel free.'
'The sound of rustling leaves and the fresh scent of pine create a peaceful escape from the noise of the world'
'I spy with my little eye a quiet moment around me, and that makes me feel calm and hopeful.'

We found these responses fascinating, as themes of freedom and hope were already emerging, showing the resilience of these students. We hoped that poetry would further provide an outlet to develop this skill.

The next task we delivered was to take a sentence starter and develop it to fit your experience. The sentence starter we used was 'While I wait, I...'. We chose this as it not only encourages them to creatively consider what they currently do, however it also gives us an idea of how much they use creativity already. Some of the students developed a sentence based of this, whilst others crafted whole poems from this starter. Some examples of these include:'While I waited, I reminisced about the sweet things that happened to me that day.'
'While I wait, I think and dream,
Ideas flow just like a stream.
A little thought, a simple start,
Creativity in my heart.'

The themes from the previous task were still apparent, but some students were diving into the imagery in their surroundings, whilst others focused more on their experiences through reminiscing.

The last task was getting the students to complete the traditional poem 'Roses are red, violets are blue...', with alternative options such as 'Olives are green, the sea is blue'.

Going into the presentation, I had hoped to inspire these students to carry on writing poetry when they are waiting. By the end, their work had inspired me as well. Despite everything, their poems featured strong themes of hope and freedom. It was a reminder for me that connecting with others through poetry, can be very empowering.
'Waiting isn't just about time…'

A reflection from Amie Disley

Waiting can be connected to everyday experiences, but also to long, stressful, and political scenarios in conflict zones like in Palestine. Waiting can involve hope, uncertainty, boredom, or control depending on the context; and people in different cultures experience time differently (Janeja & Bandak, 2018). Periods of waiting can be very boring, but boredom itself has been found to then be a good foundation for creativity through the act of daydreaming (Mann & Cadman, 2014).

The experience of the workshop also helped me to reflect on my own assumptions about waiting, as a British Psychology student. I am used to seeing waiting as something negative and avoidable – literally a waste of time (Hall, 1983). Now I saw that for Palestinian students, waiting is often unavoidable and part of daily life. I saw the importance of adapting psychological approaches to different cultural contexts, and of creativity as a way to cope with uncertainty.

Research by Geert Hofstede (2001) highlights differences between individualistic and collectivist cultures, suggesting that Western societies often emphasise personal control, whereas other cultures may place greater value on patience and adapting to circumstances. However, even this framework can be overly simplistic – we must be careful about forcing complex cultural experiences into fixed categories.

In the context of Palestine, waiting is shaped by power and inequality, where certain groups are required to wait due to limited control over their circumstances (Hage, 2009). I haven't experienced this form of living, and that raises questions about the session we performed. While the creative tasks appeared to be engaging and positive, we must consider whether waiting was unintentionally framed as something that can simply be managed or improved through creativity. At the same time, research has suggested that creativity can provide a sense of meaning and agency (Csikszentmihalyi, 1996), which may explain why the activities were effective and engaging.

Overall, the sessions were a reminder for me that waiting isn't just about time; it is shaped by culture, power, and life experience (Janeja & Bandak, 2018). And our creative responses to those issues are surely of psychological interest.
Fostering healing partnerships

Aspa: I met Dr Fadel Alsawayfa sometime ago through our common interest in poetry, education and creativity, and our collaboration flourished from there. When Dr Fadel Alsawayfa and I agreed to host this placement of First year MMU Psychology students, we didn't quite know what shape the project would take. We had already discussed Dr Ayse Burcin Baskurt's article, so we knew it would be around this topic. We had also discussed Diyala Midhat's article, especially the idea that 'it is important to dream', which was something that came up in the poetry.

Over a few weeks, we discussed and worked with Amie and Ragan, first on the workshop that they ran with the Education students at the University of Bethlehem, and then about the reflections and brief literature reviews. It was such a pleasure to work with the students from both universities, and to read the beautiful poems that all students created in the session. We were so moved by them! Dr Fadel tirelessly translated our every word to the Education students during the session.

Amie saved most of the poems in a document, and I did my best to create collective poems – there's an example below. I can see so much care, compassion, creativity, thoughtfulness in the words. They give me hope for the future and strengthen my belief that education can help us foster healing partnerships across universities, countries, continents.

For me, this first placement and session is just a beginning, and a foundation for many more projects and placements with Palestinian colleagues and students. As Sandiso Bazana noted recently, 'Students should not encounter Palestine only as news. They should encounter it as a serious site of psychological knowledge'. I think poetry, creativity and work placements have so much potential to bring people together in healing partnerships and promote mutual understanding. The world needs more of that.

A collective poem from our sessions:

While I wait

While I wait, I write a line

Turning small thoughts into rhyme

Waiting time can help me see,

New ideas inside of me.



While I wait, I think and dream,

Ideas flow just like a stream.

A little thought, a simple start,

Creativity in my heart.



While I wait, I see the sun,

Shining brightly, having fun.

I close my eyes and spin around,

Feeling happy all around.



While I wait

I dream of walking free

of happily skipping

in my land.



While I wait

I think of loved ones

under siege.



While I wait

I doodle olive trees

with my pen.



Sometimes

The olive trees I drew

Walk out of my sketchpad

And skip happily

To my loved ones

And hug them fondly.



While I wait, I watch the world move around me,

Birds fly without a clear path,

And the trees greet the wind with their quiet beauty.

I sit, my hands on the table,

My heart noticing every passing moment,

Waiting for something I do not fully know,

Perhaps good news, or a meeting that warms me inside.

The street ahead seems long with no end,

But the silence of the road teaches me something important:

Waiting is not emptiness,

It is a moment to discover myself,

And to feel all the small details of life.

While I wait, I listen to the pulse of life,

To the laughter of children, the sounds around me, the touch of sunlight on my face,

And I realize that waiting makes me value the moment,



While I wait l like to forget that I am waiting.

Sometimes I dream of walking in the countryside.

Sometimes I think of my family and friends

I haven't contacted for a long time.

Sometimes I'm trying to solve problems I have been working on

Sometimes I doodle trees and leaves with my pen!

Dreaming, thinking, dooling, makes waiting less of a pain!



While I waited on the street

I reminisced about the sweet things

that happened to me earlier that day.

I remembered seeing people

That care for me,

and the sound of birds

that accompanied our feast.


'We need psychologists who see us Palestinians not only as victims, but also as people who are creative despite hardship and injustice'

Dr Fadel Alsawayfa

The workshop was a great opportunity to exchange experiences and learn about each other. When Aspa first introduced the idea to me, I was impressed and we agreed to have another online meeting to discuss the idea thoroughly. The same week I explained the idea to my Storytelling course students and they were really interested and enthusiastic.

Despite the language barrier and the online nature of the session, Bethlehem Education students shared their experiences and interacted as much as they could. I was translating from English to Arabic and vice versa, but I was telling my story too. The poems that my students created and shared were not only about them – they were also about me. I was not surprised by my students' creativity, though. They interactively and passionately re-narrated their stories of occupied space, restrictions on movement and traumatic events.

For me, poetry is in itself waiting. It is an existential relationship where waiting is always about human situations and positions. As a Palestinian, waiting for me is not just a comma or a pause in a poem; it is an act of resistance and identity. When I wait, I take refuge to poetry, and when I write poems, I become a refugee. A poet who hangs hope on words and a refugee who never gives up hope.

When I write poems I re-live,
I imagine and go beyond what I see,
and what I cannot see.
I write about others,
as if I write about myself,
and I write about myself,
as I write about others.

When I write I fight with words,
and with myself.
I get mad,
I sometimes sit,
and other times stand.
I smile,
breathe in, breathe out,
And go on.

As a Palestinian academic, psychology plays an integral part in my work, research, writing and teaching. It enables me to understand the world as well as myself. I understand that emotions and feelings often cannot be translated, but they can be interpreted and provide resonance. I noticed how poetry enabled my students to express their feelings about traumatic events using figurative language and metaphor. In addition, poetry improved the social emotional and aesthetic skills of the trainee teachers; they showed empathy and the ability to understand human emotions and experiences.

We need psychologists who see us Palestinians not only as victims, but also as people who are creative despite hardship and injustice. We need psychologists who see us as humans with feelings and emotions, not case studies.
References

Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1996). Creativity: Flow and the psychology of discovery and invention. HarperCollins.

Hage, G. (2009). Waiting. Emotion, Space and Society, 2(2), 87–97.

Hofstede, G. (2001). Culture's consequences: Comparing values, behaviors, institutions and organizations across nations (2nd ed.). Sage.

Janeja, M. K., & Bandak, A. (2018). The temporalities of waiting: An introduction. In M. K. Janeja & A. Bandak (Eds.), Ethnographies of waiting: Doubt, hope and uncertainty (pp. 1–22). Bloomsbury Academic.

Mann, S., & Cadman, R. (2014). Does Being Bored Make Us More Creative? Creativity Research Journal, 26(2), 165–173.

Rubinstein, D., Lahad, M., Aharonson-Daniel, L., Proyer, R. T., Mizrahi, D., & Harpaz-Rotem, I. (2025). Understanding PTSD and Dissociation in Wartime: Direct and Indirect Trauma Exposure. Journal of Trauma & Dissociation, 1–19.

Tie, B., Yang, W., Huo, T., Gao, Y., Yang, X., Tian, D., Pelowski, M., & Qiu, J. (2024). Empathy to Creativity: The Associations Between Empathy and Everyday Creativity. Journal of Personality.

van Westrhenen, N., & Fritz, E. (2014). Creative Arts Therapy as treatment for child trauma: An overview. The Arts in Psychotherapy, 41(5), 527–534.

SOURCE:

https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/while-i-wait-i-think-and-dream(accessed 25.6.26)

The sense in ‘no-nonsense parenting’

Maggie Jackson looks at emerging research around contexts of precarity.

16 June 2026



Order your tearful child to cut the fussing or she's going home like it or not, and you'll probably raise eyebrows in the playground and even in the scientific community. Squelching or punishing a youngster's distress tends to be deemed harsh, a foil to expectations that good parents gently hash out nearly every whim and tear.

When Angel Dunbar, a young developmental scientist and a refugee from Liberia's civil wars, first read in graduate school that such 'directive' parenting – a norm in many families experiencing precarity – was largely seen by social scientists as insensitive and even problematic, she felt demoralised. She was raised by loving, commanding women who set strict boundaries on children's misbehaviour or tears. As a beloved aunt, she doesn't hesitate to do so. Simplistically portraying such parenting as a 'bad thing' felt dehumanising. 'I am looking at my Black mother and my Black aunts, that's not who they are,' says Dunbar, a University of Maryland assistant professor. 'The story was incomplete.'

Now Dunbar and other rising social scientists, many with lived experience of adversity, are looking to flesh out that story. While preliminary, new studies suggest that the directive parenting historically linked to problems in children can be harmless, even helpful, for kids in precarity. Issue stern commands, take the lead at playtime, minimise or even punish a child's distress, and you may be preparing a child for a risky world.

The discoveries don't overturn the foundations of good child-rearing: love, support, and guidance. But revisiting assumptions about 'no-nonsense' parenting offers a chance to question dominant models of good caregiving that often put parents of colour, low resources or from non-Western cultures on the wrong side of the ledger. At stake is not just fairness, but a potential toolkit for anxious parents worried about how to rear kids for a world in flux.


Beyond 'safe' and 'predictable'

For decades, parents in the industrialised West have been counseled to let their kid take the lead in play and conversation, while responding promptly to every gurgle and outcry. 'Responsive' parents, a forerunner to today's 'gentle' parents, still set boundaries and use discipline. But the goal is to prioritise a child's freedom, a standard of such constant attention that new parents often wonder, 'how do I even go to the bathroom?' In contrast, directive parents issue more orders than questions ('Do it now!'); use punishments (shunned in gentle parenting); and at times restrict tears and anger. Most parents use both approaches to some degree but overall, directive caregivers lean more toward 'Parent knows best!' than 'What does Junior feel like now?'. In the scientific circles that shape popular parenting lore, directiveness is still largely considered 'non-supportive.'

No-nonsense parenting's bad rap emerged from decades of studies linking such practices to misbehaviour and other problems in children. The catch is that these issues largely have been found in middle-class, European-American families that have been the main focus of parenting research led by scientists of similar backgrounds. In essence, many norms of good parenting are based on what works in safe, predictable environments.

Now research on diverse families in adversity is casting directiveness in a new light. A study led by Erika Bocknek of American Jewish University, for example, found that low-income Black toddlers of commanding, supportive mothers managed their distress better than kids whose parents were less so. In studies of mostly low-income familiesled by University of Missouri-St. Louis psychology professor Emily Gerstein, dual-language Latinx two-year-olds of parents who more persistently controlled playtime did not develop worse behaviour a year later.

The findings don't defend truly harsh parents who coldly or excessively shame or control their children. Yet a growing number of scientists are realising that, as Bocknek says, 'we've gone too far' in equating directiveness with harshness. 'Sensitivity' may look very different in a precarious world.

Consider what happens when a child runs into the street: almost all parents issue a quick command. For families experiencing systematic adversity, parenting is an endeavour of relentless risk and urgency. Says one low-income mother, 'We live in a world that nobody wants to shelter you from anything.' Directives can deliver vital teachings, like the importance of staying cool in the face of authority or tinderbox situations. 'No-nonsense parenting is for the purposes of protection,' says Velma McBride Murry of Vanderbilt University, a leading scholar of African American family life.

Today, even mildly misbehaving U.S. minority students tend to be seen by teachers as more hostile than White peers, a bias that may fuel preschooler expulsion rates three times those of White children. While Black families generally value emotional expression, Black mothers see their five-year-old's displays of negative emotions such as anger or distress as less acceptable than European-American mothers do. And they are more likely to suppress such feelings by minimising ('Don't be a baby') or punishing them in order to teach kids 'the appropriate limits of their emotional expression,' note Dunbar and colleagues.

In one of her studies of Black families who prepare their children to cope with bias, five-year-olds with moderately suppressive, highly supportive mothers managed their emotions well a year later during the frustrating task of assembling a puzzle without seeing the pieces. Kids of equally supportive but less suppressive momsdidn't cope as well. While Dunbar's work suggests that suppression may put sensitive children at risk for 'internalising' disorders such as anxiety, for many children directiveness coupled with support and age-appropriate discussions can fuel resilience.


Tailoring programs

For Dunbar, who fled Liberia at age four with her family to escape civil war, the research is deeply felt. In a dangerous world, 'you can't encourage a child to cry whenever they want,' she told me. As her family moved between refugee camps to flee advancing rebels, her mother sometimes clamped a hand over her mouth, telling her, 'You need to be quiet', Dunbar recalls. 'That seems highly negative, but in the context of war, it may save a child's life.'

Recognising resilience doesn't erase adversity's high toll. But by questioning norms based on select slices of humanity, we can recognise that some so-called deficits instead are 'adaptations that help families to survive, help them to thrive,' says neuroscientist Dylan Gee of Yale University, who studies how interventions support brain development. We can remedy the harms caused not just by adversity, but by overly narrow standards of what 'good' parents do.

Labeling directive parenting as negative when it is not, for example, 'makes people quicker to judge behavior as problematic in grocery stores or preschools,' says Gerstein. 'It impacts the way we do interventions, the way we teach,' adding to the stigma that marginalised people disproportionately face.

In addition, interventions that are tone deaf to different ways of parenting can undermine participant engagement and morale, studies show. Programs that try to 'fix' directiveness may even disable families' needed survival strategies. Today, the intervention world is still 'playing catch-up' in tailoring programs to participant needs, yet efforts are shifting this way, says Gee. Researcher Stephanie Irby Coard of the University of North Carolina-Greensboro, for example, works with Black parents to turn 'raw' directives, including preparation for bias messages, into effective 'expressions of care and vigilance'.


Resilience amid challenge

Amid rising precarity, recognising the potential of directive care also offers a timely check on extremes of gentle parenting rippling across social media. Gentle parents' goal of avoiding excessive discipline is natural. Yet expectations thatparents constantly dispense velvety choices not orders, and validate a child's feelings, can, critics say, cultivate a focus on the self that undermines children's adaptability.

All children have the right to grow up free from poverty and oppression. No child should have to be taught to adapt for survival's sake to the demands of bias and want. But all young people need to learn resilience amid challenge. In essence, judiciously directive parents may be teaching increasingly relevant lessons: that urgency isn't always on your clock, that the world doesn't cater to your every whimper. Staying agile in precarious times may be its own kind of terra firma.

Maggie Jackson is an award-winning New York-based science writer and the author most recently of Uncertain: The Wisdom and Wonder of Being Unsure.

SOURCE:

https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/sense-no-nonsense-parenting(accessed 19.6.26)

Πώς βιώνουν τα ΛΟΑΤΚΙ+ άτομα τη ρητορική μίσους ;

11/04/2022 από voicenm


Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Καλησπέρα, είμαι ο Βασίλης Θανόπουλος και σας καλωσορίζω σε ένα νέο podcast του LGBTQI+ Voice Up: Project Greece. Το Voice Up είναι ένα πρόγραμμα που στοχεύει στην ενδυνάμωση της φωνής της ΛΟΑΤΚΙ κοινότητας και στην ευαισθητοποίηση σχετικά με τις προκλήσεις που αντιμετωπίζει καθημερινά. Η θεματική με την οποία θα ασχοληθούμε αυτή τη φορά είναι η ρητορική μίσους και ο κακοποιητικός λόγος προς τα ΛΟΑΤΚΙ άτομα στη δημόσια σφαίρα, ένα ζήτημα που φαίνεται να προβληματίζει ιδιαίτερα τη ΛΟΑΤΚΙ κοινότητα, αφού δεν είναι λίγες φορές που πολιτικοί, εκπρόσωποι της εκκλησίας, καλλιτέχνες, δικηγόροι και δυστυχώς άλλοι πολλοί καταφέρονται εναντίον της με πρόσχημα την ελευθερία του λόγου. Καλεσμένος στο σημερινό μας podcast είναι ο Τέλης Ράπτης, ΛΟΑΤΚΙ ακτιβιστής με τον οποίον θα συζητήσουμε για το φαινόμενο της ρητορικής μίσους, καθώς και για τις αρνητικές επιπτώσεις που πολλές φορές έχει τόσο στην καθημερινότητα όσο και στην ψυχική υγεία των ΛΟΑΤΚΙ ατόμων. Τέλη, καλησπέρα και καλωσήρθες.

Τέλης Ράπτης: Καλησπέρα κι από μένα κι ευχαριστώ πολύ για την πρόσκληση.

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Ποιο είναι το πρώτο πράγμα που σού ‘ρχεται στο μυαλό όταν ακούς τη φράση «ρητορική μίσους»;

Τέλης Ράπτης: Μου έρχονται άπειρα πράγματα στο μυαλό, να σου πω την αλήθεια, και δεν μπορώ να κατατάξω στο οποίο είναι πρώτο και ποιο είναι δεύτερο. Μου έρχονται φράσεις που έχουμε ζήσει τόσο έντονα στη χώρα μας ειπωμένες από εκκλησιαστικά χείλη, από χείλη πολιτικών, από χείλη ανθρώπων που έχουν, δυστυχώς, σε συγκεκριμένα κοινά μεγάλη επιρροή. Μου έρχεται η καθημερινότητα, η ρητορική μίσους στο δρόμο. Μου έρχεται επίσης η ρητορική μίσους από χείλη δημοσιογράφων και από την πένα δημοσιογράφων, πράγματα τα οποία διαχέονται πάρα πολύ εύκολα και γρήγορα προς το κοινωνικό σύνολο και επηρεάζουν κόσμο, συνειδήσεις, τρόπο σκέψης, πολλά πράγματα.

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Πόσο συχνά θα λέγαμε ότι ένα ΛΟΑΤΚΙ άτομο καλείται να διαχειριστεί αυτόν τον κακοποιητικό λόγο στην καθημερινότητά του;

Τέλης Ράπτης: Κάθε φορά που θα ανοίξει το Facebook. Κάθε φορά που θα ανοίξει μία εφημερίδα. Κάθε φορά… γενικά έχει γαλουχηθεί με αυτό τον κακοποιητικό λόγο. Το θέμα είναι ότι πολλές φορές νιώθουμε ότι δεν υπάρχει, γιατί το θεωρούμε δεδομένο, δεν του δίνουμε καν σημασία. Δεν έχουμε αντανακλαστικά πολλές φορές να το αντιληφθούμε. Και επίσης έχουμε γεννηθεί μέσα σε αυτό. Είναι σαν το χρυσόψαρο που ζει μέσα σε μία γυάλα. Το χρυσόψαρο δεν αντιλαμβάνεται ότι γύρω του υπάρχει νερό, γιατί αυτή είναι η πραγματικότητά του.

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Θα κάνω μία απλή ερώτηση, γιατί είμαστε και οι δύο μέλη μιας ΛΟΑΤΚΙ κοινότητας. Στο ερώτημα για ποιο λόγο υπάρχει αυτή η ρητορική μίσους, για ποιον λόγο υπάρχει αυτός ο κακοποιητικός λόγος, εσύ τι απαντάς;

Τέλης Ράπτης: Κατάλοιπα του παρελθόντος σίγουρα είναι ένας σημαντικός λόγος ο οποίος υπάρχει. Ένα μίσος γενικότερα προς ό,τι γυναικείο, ό,τι φεμινιστικό και το έχουμε παρατηρήσει πάρα πολύ έντονα αυτό, θα έλεγα, στο παρελθόν, όπου κάθε προσπάθεια φεμινιστικού λόγου είχε ακριβώς τις ίδιες αντιδράσεις με την προσπάθεια για ΛΟΑΤΚΙ ακτιβισμό. Παρατηρούμε γενικότερα ότι στα μάτια πολύ κόσμου, αν κάτσουμε και το δούμε ψύχραιμα και εντελώς από απόσταση, ένα γκέι άτομο —θα φέρω ένα παράδειγμα απλά— υποβιβάζει το αντρικό του φύλο, υποβιβάζει τον άντρα μέσα του. Οπότε αυτό είναι και ένα φαλλοκρατικό στοιχείο της ίδιας μας της κοινωνίας.

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Είναι σημαντικό… Βασικά, όσο σκέφτομαι αυτά τα podcast που αφορούν στη ρητορική μίσους, κάνω την εξής διαπίστωση: ότι πολύ συχνά, ο κόσμος αντιλαμβάνεται αυτόν τον κακοποιητικό λόγο όταν αναφερόμαστε σε μία ευθεία επίθεση, σε μία προσβολή ΛΟΑΤΚΙ ταυτοτήτων. Η ρητορική μίσους, όμως, λειτουργεί και ενυπάρχει με διάφορους τρόπους, και πάρα πολλές φορές έμμεσους. Για παράδειγμα, θυμάμαι τότε οι δηλώσεις, τα όσα είχε γράψει ο Αμβρόσιος τότε για τη ΛΟΑΤΚΙ κοινότητα είναι ένα σαφές παράδειγμα ρητορικής μίσους. Παρ’ όλα αυτά, ένα άλλο παράδειγμα είναι όταν ο Κυριάκος Μητσοτάκης μέσα στη Βουλή μίλησε για εξωγήινους που συνάντησε στον Υμηττό. Θέλεις λίγο να μου πεις πώς… Δηλαδή είναι σημαντικό μέσα από αυτή τη συζήτηση να αναδείξουμε και πώς αυτή η ρητορική μίσους υπάρχει στην καθημερινότητά μας και με τρόπους που πολλές φορές δεν μπορούμε να την αναγνωρίσουμε.

Τέλης Ράπτης: Υπάρχει ακόμα και στο χιουμοράκι της πλατείας που θα ακουστεί για οτιδήποτε ή θα αφήσουμε να εννοηθεί ότι κάποιος είναι γκέι. Είναι κακό όλο αυτό, πέρα των ατόμων με μεγάλη εξουσία οι οποίοι, βέβαια, δίνουν την αίσθηση νομιμότητας σε κόσμο να εκφράζεται με αυτό το απλό το χιουμοράκι για τον γκέι, τον πούστη, τη λεσβία, το τρανς άτομο και να δημιουργεί χειρότερες συνθήκες ζωής για τα ίδια τα LGBTQI+ άτομα.

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Πώς πιστεύεις ότι αυτός ο λόγος επιδρά στην καθημερινότητα ενός ΛΟΑΤΚΙ ατόμου;

Τέλης Ράπτης: Όλα ξεκινάνε από το χιούμορ. Άμα κάτσουμε και δούμε ακόμα και στα πιο ακραία φασιστικά καθεστώτα όλα ξεκινήσανε από ένα απλό χιουμοράκι. Κάνοντας χιούμορ με τη ζωή όχι μόνο του άλλου αλλά μιας ολόκληρης ομάδας, αρχίζουμε και το κατατάσσουμε σ’ ένα επίπεδο κάτω από τον άνθρωπο. Χλευάζοντας αρχίζουμε και το θεωρούμε κάτι λιγότερο από εμάς. Και όσο αυτό συνεχίζεται, μετά γίνεται επιθέσεις, μεταφράζεται σε πολλά πράγματα και ανάλογα σε ποιο σημείο θα φτάσει κάθε φορά. Το ίδιο πράγμα ακριβώς ξεκίνησε ακόμα και με τους Εβραίους —θα χρησιμοποιήσω αυτό το παράδειγμα. Ξεκίνησε από ένα χιουμοράκι, μετά ήτανε το «δε μας πειράζει και να μην είχατε γεννηθεί Εβραίοι», το οποίο ξεκίνησε από χιουμοράκι αλλά συνέχισε λιγάκι στη συνείδηση του κόσμου και αυτό δεν έχει πάρα πολύ μεγάλη απόσταση από το «σας σκοτώνουμε επειδή είστε Εβραίοι». Και έχει αποδειχθεί από την ιστορία.

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Ας μιλήσουμε λίγο πιο προσωπικά. Εσύ ως ΛΟΑΤΚΙ άτομο πώς λειτουργείς μέσα σε ένα περιβάλλον κακοποιητικού λόγου; Δηλαδή, υπάρχει κάποιο παράδειγμα πρόσφατο που μπορείς να θυμηθείς που εσύ έγινες δέκτης ενός κακοποιητικού λόγου ή άκουσες ή διάβασες κάτι; Και θέλω να μου πεις και πώς αισθάνθηκες όταν έγινε αυτό.

Τέλης Ράπτης: Κοίτα, πλέον το να διαβάσω ή να ακούσω κάτι ναι, εννοείται, χίλιες φορές. Κάθε μέρα μερικές φορές συμβαίνει. Το να το βιώνω σε προσωπικό επίπεδο, επειδή πλέον έχω χτίσει τις κατάλληλες άμυνες και τον κατάλληλο κόσμο γύρω μου, έχω φροντίσει έτσι ώστε οι φίλοι μου, οι παρέες μου να μην ασκούνε τέτοιον κακοποιητικό λόγο ή όχι σε πάρα πολύ άσχημο επίπεδο τουλάχιστον. Έχω φροντίσει, λοιπόν, να προστατεύσω τον εαυτό μου από όλο αυτό. Το ότι θα διαβάσω, ναι, θα διαβάσω. Το ότι θα έχω συνέχεια τις κεραίες μου σηκωμένες να μπορέσω να καταλάβω τι μας είπε ακριβώς ο ποιητής, επίσης θά ‘χω πάρα πολύ την προσοχή μου σε αυτό. Χρειάστηκε να αντιδράσω αρκετά στο παρελθόν, να πω την αλήθεια, για να με προστατέψω, πριν ακόμα χτίσω ένα τόσο ασφαλές δίκτυο γύρω μου.

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Με νοιάζει να μπορούμε να μεταφέρουμε ίσως και κάποιους τρόπους, κάποιους μηχανισμούς στα άτομα που μας ακούνε για το πώς θα μπορούσαν να αντιμετωπίσουν όλο αυτό το κακοποιητικό πλαίσιο μέσα στο οποίο βρίσκονται. Εσύ μου λες για έναν μηχανισμό στον οποίο είναι ένα δίκτυο υποστήριξης από το φιλικό/οικογενειακό περιβάλλον που σε προστατεύει. Λαμβάνοντας υπόψη, όμως, ότι αυτός ο κακοποιητικός λόγος, αυτή η προσβολή της ΛΟΑΤΚΙ ταυτότητας υπάρχει στον δημόσιο λόγο, δηλαδή το ακούμε από πολιτικούς, το ακούμε από εκπροσώπους της εκκλησίας, το ακούμε από δημοσιογράφους, το ακούμε από —πολύ πρόσφατα— δικηγόρους, ποιος είναι, αν υπάρχει, ένας τρόπος προστασίας των ανθρώπων που ακούνε ότι οι ταυτότητές τους κατηγορούνται και βάλλονται καθημερινά;

Τέλης Ράπτης: Τρόπος προστασίας των ανθρώπων είναι όντως να χτίσουμε όλοι ένα προστατευτικό περιβάλλον γύρω μας, στο οποίο θα μπορούμε να απευθυνόμαστε κάθε φορά που θα νιώθουμε άσχημα. Το να μπορούμε να φιλτράρουμε και να μην αφήνουμε να μας επηρεάζει αυτό προσωπικά ψυχολογικά πάρα πολύ άσχημα έτσι να μπορέσουμε να προφυλάξουμε λιγάκι τον εαυτό μας. Όχι ότι θα πετύχουμε κάτι για την κοινότητα με αυτό τον τρόπο, αλλά πρώτα απ’ όλα θα πρέπει να είμαστε εμείς υγιείς για να μπορέσουμε να κάνουμε το οτιδήποτε παραπέρα. Έχουμε δει στο παρελθόν ακόμα και μηνύσεις να γίνονται και να πιάνουν τόπο. Η περίπτωση του Αμβρόσιου που ανέφερες πριν ήτανε κάτι εκπληκτικό, κατά τη γνώμη μου, που ζήσαμε τότε.

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Γιατί;

Τέλης Ράπτης: Πρώτα απ’ όλα, ήταν η πρώτη φορά που βρέθηκε εισαγγελέας να κάτσει σε σκαμνί Μητροπολίτη. Αυτό από μόνο του ήταν εκπληκτικό. Η όλη η δίκη συνέχισε να είναι κακοποιητική μέσα σε ένα δικαστήριο το οποίο δεν προστάτευε τα ίδια τα θύματα. Ήτανε… δεν ξέρω καν πώς να το χαρακτηρίσω αυτό. Δεν μπορώ να βρω λέξη. Το τελικό αποτέλεσμα, σίγουρα, της δικαίωσης —που χρειάστηκε να περάσουν τόσα χρόνια, βέβαια, για να έρθει—, στον τρίτο βαθμό νομίζω κιόλας, αν θυμάμαι καλά…

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Ναι, στον Άρειο Πάγο.

Τέλης Ράπτης: […] για να καταφέρει να κατοχυρώσει τη συγκεκριμένη απόφαση. Αλλά παρόλα αυτά ήταν ένα πάρα πολύ ηχηρό μήνυμα, ότι ένας άνθρωπος, Μητροπολίτης όπως ο Αμβρόσιος, με το κύρος που είχε, δεν δικαιούται να λέει ό,τι θέλει και υπάρχει κι ένα όριο.

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Επειδή είσαι και ακτιβιστής, μετείχες και μετέχεις στις οργανώσεις, αυτό που λέμε ακτιβιστική ΛΟΑΤΚΙ κοινότητα, γιατί είναι σημαντικό να δούμε και τον βαθμό αντίδρασης μίας ΛΟΑΤΚΙ κοινότητας απέναντι σε αυτό το φαινόμενο, υπάρχουν περιπτώσεις όπου η κοινότητα κατήγγειλε αυτή τη ρητορική μίσους, τον κακοποιητικό λόγο και προσπάθησε να το φτάσεις μέχρι τον δρόμο της δικαιοσύνης; Εκτός από την ιστορία του Αμβρόσιου.

Τέλης Ράπτης: Ναι, είχε υπάρξει και στο παρελθόν. Θυμάμαι έντονα την περίπτωση του Μητροπολίτη Πειραιώς, του Σεραφείμ, ο οποίος για παρόμοιο λόγο και για ανάλογα σχόλια —σχόλια… Άντε, ας τα πω σχόλια— αρνήθηκε ο εισαγγελέας να τον δικάσει και έβαλε την υπόθεση στο αρχείο. Βασικά, αυτό αντιμετωπίζαμε συνέχεια στο παρελθόν, προ Αμβροσίου. Όλα μπαίναν στο αρχείο. Δηλαδή, δεν ξέρω πώς και γιατί ο συγκεκριμένος εισαγγελέας αποφάσισε κάτι άλλο, αλλά θα πάω με τη μεριά του κυρίου Αμβροσίου και θα πω «να αγιάσει ο άνθρωπος!». (γέλια) Επίσης, προς πολιτικά πρόσωπα στα οποία αίρεται ή δεν αίρεται η ασυλία τους κάθε φορά που έχουμε κακοποιητικό λόγο. Σε δικαστήρια που έχουνε γίνει έχουν αθωωθεί, γιατί θα πρέπει να αποδείξεις ότι δεν ήταν απλά κακοποιητικός λόγος. Αυτή τη στιγμή ο αντιρατσιστικός έχει διαφορά με τον κακοποιητικό. Ο αντιρατσιστικός θέλει να δείχνει ότι υποκινείς σε βία, πράγμα το οποίο δε συμβαίνει πάντα. Δεν είναι πάντα «φτύστε τους», δεν είναι πάντα «χτυπήστε τους». Είναι κατώτεροι όσον αφορά αυτά που ζητάνε και «η κοινωνία δεν είναι έτοιμη» και «εξωγήινοι στον Υμηττό». Αυτό δεν υπάρχει νομικά, δεν μπορείς να το υποστηρίξεις μέσα στον αντιρατσιστικό νόμο.

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Παρ’ όλα αυτά, τώρα που τα συζητάμε οι δυο μας, θεωρείς ότι απαιτείται συγκεκριμένη πολιτική βούληση έτσι ώστε να περιοριστεί αυτό το φαινόμενο, τουλάχιστον σε αυτό που ονομάζουμε πολιτικός λόγος; Και αν απαιτείται αυτή η πολιτική βούληση, θεωρείς ότι υπάρχει σήμερα;

Τέλης Ράπτης: Πολιτική βούληση να περιοριστεί στον πολιτικό λόγο σίγουρα όχι. Γιατί αυτό προσφέρει σε κάποια κόμματα μια δεξαμενή ψηφοφόρων. Κι όσο καταφέρνουν αυτούς τους ψηφοφόρους να τους κρατάνε ομοφοβικούς τόσο πιο εύκολα θα τους πουλάνε τις απόψεις τους. Ομοφοβικές, τρανσφοβικές, λεσβιοφοβικές, για να μπορούν να συνεχίσουν να εκμαιεύουν από αυτόν τον χώρο ψηφοφόρους.

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Γιατί σε ρωτάω. Γιατί προσπαθώντας και εγώ να θυμηθώ χαρακτηριστικά παραδείγματα κακοποιητικού λόγου, στο μυαλό μου έρχονται όλα εκείνα τα νομοσχέδια που τότε συζητούσαν στη Βουλή που αφορούν στα ΛΟΑΤΚΙ δικαιώματα —σύμφωνο συμβίωσης, ταυτότητα φύλου, αναδοχή— και ενώ θεωρητικά θά ‘πρεπε να είναι κάτι θετικό για την κοινότητα, λαμβάνοντας υπόψη ότι ψηφίστηκαν και γίνανε νόμοι, παρόλα αυτά κατά τη διάρκεια ψήφισης και συζήτησης είχαμε μία αναπαραγωγή τρομακτικού κακοποιητικού λόγο.

Τέλης Ράπτης: Ναι, ήταν αρκετά τρομακτικές ομιλίες βουλευτών…

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Το λέω γιατί θυμάμαι τον εαυτό μετά το τέλος, μετά την ψήφιση. Αντί να είμαι χαρούμενος που ένα ακόμα δικαίωμα της κοινότητας στην οποία ανήκω κι εγώ πέρασε, οπότε πάμε για το επόμενο, αισθανόμουνα καταβεβλημένος, κακοποιημένος… Θέλεις να μου κάνεις ένα σχόλιο για αυτό; Είναι αυτό αποτέλεσμα της ρητορικής μίσους; Και πώς αυτή στην ουσία μπορεί να λειτουργήσει σε ένα άτομο που ανοίγει την τηλεόραση, είναι ένα νομοσχέδιο, συζητιέται και ακούει τα τέρατα;

Τέλης Ράπτης: Κακοποίηση για το ίδιο το άτομο είναι η ρητορική μίσους. Είναι ίσως και ο ορισμός της. Και το θέμα είναι ότι τα άτομα που τα ξεστόμισαν όλα αυτά δεν σκέφτονται, δεν περνάει από το μυαλό τους καν, ότι υπάρχουνε πιτσιρικάκια εκεί έξω, της κοινότητας, τα οποία ακούσανε να τους συμπεριφέρονται και να μιλάνε για εκείνα με αυτό το χειρότερο δυνατό τρόπο. Κι όλα αυτά είτε για να συνεχίσουν τα πιστεύω τους είτε για να κερδίσουν κάποιους συντηρητικούς ψήφους. Για να κερδίσουμε τον συντηρητικό βάλαμε ένα παιδί να σκέφτεται και να νιώθει πάρα πολύ άσχημα για ένα μεγάλο διάστημα της ζωής του. Πόσο καταστροφικό μπορεί να είναι αυτό…

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Θεωρείς, λοιπόν, ότι υπάρχουν επιπτώσεις στην ψυχική υγεία των ατόμων που γίνονται δέκτες.

Τέλης Ράπτης: Ξεκάθαρα ναι.

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Να ρωτήσω αν υπάρχει μία υπηρεσία στην οποία μπορεί ένα ΛΟΑΤΚΙ άτομο αυτή τη στιγμή να απευθυνθεί, έτσι ώστε να μπορεί να διαχειριστεί όλη αυτή την κατάσταση;

Τέλης Ράπτης: Μια υπηρεσία που αυτή τη στιγμή υπάρχει και λειτουργεί στην Ελλάδα είναι το 11528. Είναι μία γραμμή για ψυχολογική υποστήριξη προς LGBTIQ νέους, τους γονείς τους αλλά και γενικότερα το περιβάλλον τους συμπεριλαμβανομένου και του σχολείου τους. Μπορούν, λοιπόν, σε αυτό να απευθυνθούν τα ίδια τα άτομα όπως είπα, οι γονείς, πάρα πολύ σημαντικό και πολύ σημαντικό το ίδιο τους το σχολείο, για να δούνε πώς μπορούν να αντιμετωπίσουν ένα περιστατικό το οποίο έχει προκύψει στις σχολικές αίθουσες.

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Ωραία. Δύο τελευταίες ερωτήσεις ακόμα, Τέλη, που θα ήθελα να συζητήσουμε. Νομίζω ότι δεν γίνεται να μην κάνουμε μία ερώτηση σχετικά με την υπόθεση που εκδικάζεται αυτές τις μέρες και αφορά στη δολοφονία του Ζακ. Θα ‘θελα να μου πεις πώς θεωρείς ότι αυτός ο κακοποιητικός λόγος, αυτή η ρητορική μίσους γίνεται κομμάτι αυτής της υπόθεσης και χρησιμοποιείται από κάποιους ως επιχείρημα για να οδηγήσουν σε συγκεκριμένα συμπεράσματα.

Τέλης Ράπτης: Στη δίκη του Ζακ, περισσότερο στην αρχή το είδαμε από μέσα μαζικής ενημέρωσης, τα οποία ξεκινήσανε να υποβιβάζουν λιγάκι τον άνθρωπο, να υποβιβάζουν λιγάκι τον χαρακτήρα: «Ε εντάξει, παιδιά και τι ήτανε; Ένας γκέι ήτανε, ένας οροθετικός ήτανε, μία drag queen ήτανε». Αυτό έβαζε λιγάκι ένα κομμάτι ζυγαριάς το πόσο αξία τελικά έχουνε οι ζωές μας. Το ίδιο αξίζει η ζωή του οικογενειάρχη, το ίδιο αξίζει και η ζωή μίας αδερφής; Όλο αυτό είναι όλο λάθος. Το ότι μπήκαμε και βάλαμε σε μία ζυγαριά δύο διαφορετικές ζωές γιατί μας βόλευε ή μας συνέφερε ή οτιδήποτε… Από την άλλη σκέφτομαι ποιος κάθεται και βάζει σε ζυγαριά αυτές τις ζωές. Και πάντα παρατηρούμε ομοφοβικούς δημοσιογράφους, ομοφοβικούς πολιτικούς, ανθρώπους που όχι απλά έχουν γαλουχηθεί μέσα αυτό αλλά έχουν γαλουχήσει μέσα σε αυτό.

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Να το δούμε λίγο πιο απλά: θεωρείς ότι ο Ζακ, αν δεν έφερε τις ταυτότητες που έφερε, δεν ήτανε μέλος της ΛΟΑΤΚΙ κοινότητας αλλά και σε άλλες, θα είχε διαφορετική μεταχείριση από την κοινωνία, από τους δημοσιογράφους, ακόμα και από τη δικαιοσύνη;

Τέλης Ράπτης: Ξεκάθαρα ναι.

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Αυτό είναι ρητορική μίσους;

Τέλης Ράπτης: Αυτό είναι 2 πράγματα. Είναι αποτέλεσμα ρητορικής μίσους και όλα όσα λέχθηκαν αποτελούν νέα περιστατικά ρητορικής μίσους. Ήταν μια επανατροφοδότηση και μάλιστα πάρα πολύ έντονη. Αν δεν υπήρχε η ρητορική μίσους πιο πριν για να μπορεί να στηριχθεί όλο αυτό το αφήγημα, δε θα μπορούσε κάπου να κάτσει. Αλλά όλα αυτά που ελέχθησαν και σε τόσο μεγάλο βαθμό υπήρξαν μια καινούρια ανατροφοδότηση του όλου πράγματος.

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Ωραία. Και επειδή διαχειριζόμαστε ένα θέμα το οποίο είναι ιδιαίτερα τραυματικό, τουλάχιστον για μας τα ΛΟΑΤΚΙ άτομα, θα ήθελα να κλείσουμε αν γίνεται με κάποιον τρόπο θετικά. Δηλαδή, έχοντας στο μυαλό σου αυτά τα ΛΟΑΤΚΙ άτομα που μας ακούν, τι θα ήθελες να πεις σ’ αυτά τα άτομα; Με έναν ενδυναμωτικό τόνο, όμως.

Τέλης Ράπτης: Ξέρεις κάτι; Είναι κάτι το οποίο το έχω κάνει στο παρελθόν και ενώ στην αρχή φαινομενικά δε με ενδυνάμωσε, εγώ ένιωσα υπέροχα και μου βγήκε σε πάρα πολύ καλό. Ήτανε τραπέζι οικογενειακό, αλλά όχι οικογενειακό, ξέρεις, αυτό που μαζεύεται όλο το σόι. Δεν ξέρω πώς μπορώ να το χαρακτηρίσω. Ήτανε Πάσχα και μαζεύεται όλο το σόι. Πάντα σ’ αυτά τα τραπέζια υπάρχει κι ο κλασικός θείος που θέλει να κάτσει με τη νεολαία, τον έχουμε ζήσει όλοι, που πετάει αυτές τις απίστευτες ατάκες: ομοφοβικές, σεξιστικές, που δεν ξέρεις από πού να το πιάσεις και πού να σταματήσεις. Κάποια χρονιά λοιπόν, ενώ συνήθως σε αυτά τα τραπέζια μπαίνεις σε μία διαδικασία να το ανεχθείς, να μην αντιδράσεις όσο ακόμη η ηλικία σου είναι μικρή, αποφάσισα σε εκείνο το τραπέζι να αντιδράσω. Ο θείος βρέθηκε με ένα τζατζίκι στο πρόσωπο, δεν πήγε πολύ καλά. Αλλά ξέρεις τι γλίτωσα έπειτα; Ότι ήταν πολύ προσεκτικοί οι δικοί μου σε ποιο τραπέζι θα πάμε και ποιους θα καλέσουμε σπίτι. (γέλια) Οπότε ναι, μου έδωσε ένα υπέροχο αβάν ότι πλέον οκ, ζούμε πιο προστατευμένα σε αυτό το σπίτι.

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Οπότε είναι και μία συμβουλή σου να αντιδράμε απέναντι στον κακοποιητικό λόγο;

Τέλης Ράπτης: Δε λέω να λούσετε τους θείους με τζατζίκια, παιδιά! (γέλια) Αλλά το να αντιδράμε ναι. Αν μπορούμε, αν νιώθουμε ασφαλή και αν είμαστε έτοιμα να το κάνουμε.

Βασίλης Θανόπουλος: Ωραία. Τέλη, σε ευχαριστούμε πάρα πολύ για τα όσα μας είπε σήμερα. Εμείς θα τα ξαναπούμε την επόμενη φορά σε ένα άλλο podcast. Γεια σας.

ΠΗΓΗ:

https://voiceup.avmag.gr/%cf%80%cf%8e%cf%82-%ce%b2%ce%b9%cf%8e%ce%bd%ce%bf%cf%85%ce%bd-%cf%84%ce%b1-%ce%bb%ce%bf%ce%b1%cf%84%ce%ba%ce%b9-%ce%ac%cf%84%ce%bf%ce%bc%ce%b1-%cf%84%ce%b7-%cf%81%ce%b7%cf%84%ce%bf%cf%81%ce%b9%ce%ba/(accessed 19.6.26)