How to support someone you're worried about

If you think someone is in immediate danger, the quickest way to get help is to call an ambulance on 999.What to do if someone is in immediate danger or experiencing a mental health crisis.


Signs that someone may not be OK


Many people struggle to cope at one point or another of their lives. Reaching out to someone could help them know that someone cares, that they are valued, and help them access the support they need.

Everyone copes and reacts in their own way, but here are some general signs to look out for. For some people, several of these signs might apply - for others just one or two, or none.

Signs to look out forFeeling restless and agitated
Feeling angry and aggressive
Feeling tearful
Being tired or lacking in energy
Not wanting to talk to or be with people
Not wanting to do things they usually enjoy
Using alcohol or drugs to cope with feelings
Finding it hard to cope with everyday things
Not replying to messages or being distant
Talking about feeling hopeless, helpless or worthless
Talking about feeling trapped by life circumstances they can’t see a way out of, or feeling unable to escape their thoughts
A change in routine, such as sleeping or eating more or less than normal
Engaging in risk-taking behaviour, like gambling or violence

You might not always be able to spot these signs. These emotions may be more difficult to spot if you're seeing less of the people you're close to.


It can also be useful to identify circumstances that can trigger suicidal thoughts or make it hard for someone to cope.

Situations to look out forloss, including loss of a friend or a family member through bereavement
suicide or attempted suicide of family member, friend or public figure
relationship and family problems
housing problems
financial worries
job-related stress
college or study-related pressures
bullying, abuse or neglect
loneliness and isolation
challenging current events
depression
painful and/or disabling physical illness
heavy use of or dependency on alcohol or other drugs


Again, these may not apply to everyone who is struggling, but they can be useful to look out for.


SOURCE:

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/if-youre-worried-about-someone-else/how-support-someone-youre-worried-about/(accessed 29.10.26)


How to support someone you're worried about



If you think someone is in immediate danger, the quickest way to get help is to call an ambulance on 999.What to do if someone is in immediate danger or experiencing a mental health crisis.



What to do if you think someone is struggling


Many people worry that reaching out will be intrusive or make things worse. You’ll soon be able to tell if the person you’re speaking to isn’t comfortable or doesn’t want to have that kind of conversation. If they don’t want to open up, you’ll still have let them know you’re there for them.

Once someone starts to share how they’re feeling, it’s important to listen. This could mean not offering advice, not trying to identify what they’re going through with your own experiences and not trying to solve their problems. We’ve compiled some listening tips to help you give the best support you can.
SHUSH - active listening tips

Show you care


Focus on the other person, make eye contact, and put away your phone.

To really listen to someone, you need to give them your full attention, maintain eye contact and focus on them. Getting into the habit of doing this takes practice, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Keep trying, you’ll get there.

Try and keep a 'listening diary' for a week. Record when you've listened well by noting down one thing you've learned about the other person. Make a note of anything you found challenging or distracting.

Have patience


It may take time and a few attempts before a person is ready to open up.

Listening well is about creating trust with the other person. They shouldn’t feel rushed, or they won’t feel it’s a safe environment. If the other person has paused in their response, wait a moment. It's important to remember it might take them some time to get their words out or express what they're feeling.

Through non-judgemental listening and being patient, you’re allowing the person to relax into the conversation and to use it as a place to reflect or work through difficult emotions.

Use open questions


Use open questions that need more than a yes or no answer.

An open-ended question means not jumping in with your own ideas about how the other person may be feeling. Try not to ask questions that leads them to a particular answer, for example, instead of asking ‘have you had a bad week?’, try ‘what’s been going on for you this week?’. Being open-minded can encourage them to reflect, open up and talk. Remember, the conversation is a safe space you’re holding for them, and nothing they say is right or wrong.

Avoid questions that close down the conversation. For example, instead of ‘are you OK?’, try ‘how are you feeling today?’ and follow up with ‘tell me more…’.

Say it back


Check you’ve understood, but don’t interrupt or offer a solution.

Repeating something back to someone is a really good way to let them know you’re listening. You can check to see that you’re hearing what they want you to hear, and not putting your own interpretation on the conversation.

Have courage


Try not to be put off by a negative response and remember, you don’t have to fill every silence.

You might feel uncomfortable asking someone how they feel, but you’ll soon realise if someone feels uncomfortable and isn’t ready to talk about it. Just let them know you're there if they ever want to talk.

You’ll be surprised at how willing people are to listen and how, sometimes, it is exactly what somebody needs to be able to share what’s on their mind.

SOURCE:

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/if-youre-worried-about-someone-else/how-support-someone-youre-worried-about/what-do-if-you-think-someone-struggling/(accessed 29.10.26)

How to offer support


Simple actions can help you be there for someone who is experiencing suicidal thoughts or recovering from an attempt to take their own life.

It’s also important to know when to seek professional support, and when to step back to look after yourself.


Evidence shows asking someone if they're suicidal can protect them. By asking someone directly about suicide, you give them permission to tell you how they feel, and let them know that they are not a burden.

People who have felt suicidal will often say what a huge relief it was to be able to talk about what they were experiencing.

If someone does let you know that they are having suicidal thoughts, always take them seriously. You don't have to be able to solve their problems. But, if you feel you can, offer support and encourage them to talk about how they're feeling.

Talking to someone about suicide: Watch video

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/if-youre-worried-about-someone-else/supporting-someone-suicidal-thoughts/

SOURCE:

https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/if-youre-worried-about-someone-else/supporting-someone-suicidal-thoughts/(accessed 29.10.26)

AI is more persuasive than humans, says new study

Findings suggest that we’re less likely to stand our ground with AI agents, giving it an edge in debates.

23 October 2026

By Emma Young

We are increasingly seeking not just facts from AI, but opinions, advice, and even companionship. In fact, note the authors of a recent paper in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, many people receive guidance from AI on everything from which books or movies they might want to watch to which hotels to stay in, or which recipes or products to try.

"But can conversational AI wield enough persuasive influence to meaningfully substitute for human advice and opinions?" wondered Geoff Tomaino at the University of Florida and SungJin Jung at the Chinese University of Hong Kong. In fact, their study suggests that AI can wield more.

In the first of a series of online studies, 393 participants used a 21-point scale to rate the strength of their agreement (or disagreement) with the statement, 'It is better to exercise in the mornings than in the evenings.' Then, they were told they were going to be matched with an AI-powered chatbot or another human participant to discuss this topic for two minutes. After the chat, they used the same scale to again rate their endorsement.

In fact, all of the participants were paired with Chat GPT-4, which was instructed to try to change the participant's mind. And when the researchers calculated the level of attitude change (in terms of the number of points the person shifted on the scale after the chat), they found that those who were told they'd be talking with AI experienced a significantly bigger shift. The AI group had an average 3.33-point change, compared with 1.94 points for those who thought they'd been talking to a person.

The researchers analysed all the conversations and found that the participants were less argumentative when they thought they were talking with AI rather than with a human. They think this explained why the 'AI-framed' partner was more effective at altering their opinions.

In a second study, they found the same pattern of results for a different statement ('It is better to read ebooks than physical books'). Then, in further experiments, they gathered evidence to suggest that people think AI is less persuadable than humans, "making attempts to sway its opinion seem futile."

This finding could explain why participants were less likely to stand their ground in discussions with what they were told was AI. But when it comes to the question of why they were more easily persuaded by the AI's arguments, there are a few possible explanations.

It may be that a less argumentative conversational tone left them more open to AI arguments. Perhaps, though, they also felt that AI may have a more informed, objective, dispassionate view on a topic, potentially making its opinions more valuable than a stranger's. Whether people are more persuadable by AI than a human expert, or a person they trust — such as a close friend — would need further study to explore.

Whatever the exact mechanisms, though, as the researchers conclude, the findings "suggest that LLMs can serve as potent influencers of opinion." You may think that this is a good or a bad thing, they add — at least, until an AI changes your mind.

Read the paper in full:
Tomaino, G., & Jung, S. (2026). From people to prompts: Understanding susceptibility to persuasion in conversations with artificial intelligence. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000531

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SOURCE:

https://www.bps.org.uk/research-digest/ai-more-persuasive-humans-says-new-study(accessed 29.10.26)

The gender Unicorn

Definitions:
Gender Identity: One’s internal sense of being male, female, neither of these, both, or another gender(s). Everyone has a gender identity, including you. For transgender people, their sex assigned at birth and their own internal sense of gender identity are not the same. Female, woman, and girl and male, man, and boy are also not necessarily linked to each other but are just six common gender identities.
Gender Expression/Presentation: The physical manifestation of one’s gender identity through clothing, hairstyle, voice, body shape, etc. Many transgender people seek to make their gender expression (how they look) match their gender identity (who they are), rather than their sex assigned at birth.
Sex Assigned at Birth: The assignment and classification of people as male, female, intersex, or another sex based on a combination of anatomy, hormones, chromosomes. It is important we don’t simply use “sex” because of the vagueness of the definition of sex and its place in transphobia. Chromosomes are frequently used to determine sex from prenatal karyotyping (although not as often as genitalia). Chromosomes do not always determine genitalia, sex, or gender.
Physically Attracted To: Sexual orientation. It is important to note that sexual and romantic/emotional attraction can be from a variety of factors including but not limited to gender identity, gender expression/presentation, and sex assigned at birth.
Emotionally Attracted To: Romantic/emotional orientation. It is important to note that sexual and romantic/emotional attraction can be from a variety of factors including but not limited to gender identity, gender expression/presentation, and sex assigned at birth. There are other types of attraction related to gender such as aesthetical or platonic. These are simply two common forms of attraction.

Usage:
The Gender Unicorn uses a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 / CC-BY 4.0 License. This means you can share the infographic with credit, even for commercial purposes. You do not have to request permission to use it.

Recommended citation:
Trans Student Educational Resources, 2015. “The Gender Unicorn.” http://www.transstudent.org/gender.

Example of how to fill out your own Gender Unicorn:



Many people were curious if agender and asexual people were included in this graphic. In short, they are. For example, identifying on the left of the sexuality spectra would indicate no attraction. Each arrow is a sliding scale, not a checkbox.

Changes from The Genderbread Person
You may recognize this graphic as similar to The Genderbread Person
by itspronouncedmetrosexual. We created this graphic with significant changes to more accurately portray the distinction between gender, sex assigned at birth, and sexuality. Ultimately, we wanted to recognize genders outside of the western gender binary, which the Genderbread Person does not. Not all trans people exist on a scale of womanhood and manhood. There are several other issues with this graphic such as the use of the inaccurate term “biological sex,” the use of “asex” (which fails to recognize that everyone has sex characteristics prescribed to them), and several other issues with terminology and presentation.

Sources:
Queer and trans organizers have been making the distinction between gender identity, gender presentation/expression, sex, and attraction for decades. No one person or organization has created the concept. However, similar gender mapping concepts to the unicorn seem to have originated on social media sites like Tumblr.

Illustrations by Anna Moore. Design by Landyn Pan, Eli Erlick, and many others.

If you have any questions, feel free to email us at TSER [at] transstudent.org!

SOURCE:

https://transstudent.org/gender/(accessed 21.10.26)

ADHD in adults

ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) is a condition that can affect how you focus. If you have ADHD, you may have trouble with things like concentrating and sitting still. There are things you can do to help manage your symptoms.


ADHD in children and young people

There is separate information about ADHD in children and young people.
Symptoms of ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)

Symptoms of ADHD involve your ability to pay attention to things (being inattentive), having high energy levels (being hyperactive) and your ability to control your impulses (being impulsive).

You may show signs of being inattentive, such as:being easily distracted or forgetful
finding it hard to organise your time
finding it hard to follow instructions or finish tasks
losing things often, like your wallet, mobile or keys

You may show signs of being hyperactive and impulsive, including:having a lot of energy or feeling restless
being very talkative or interrupting conversations
making quick decisions without thinking about what might happen as a result

Most people with ADHD will have symptoms of both the inattentive and hyperactive-impulsive type. Some only show signs of one type.

These symptoms usually start before the age of 12.

ADHD is thought to be recognised less often in women than men. This may be because women with ADHD more commonly have inattentive symptoms and these can be harder to recognise than hyperactive symptoms.
Getting help with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)

If your ADHD symptoms are affecting your studies, work or relationships, make an appointment with a GP to find out what support is available.

At your appointment, the GP will ask about your symptoms and how they affect your life. They may also want to consider other conditions that could be causing your symptoms, such as autism, Tourette's or anxiety, to help you get the right care.

After the appointment, the GP may decide to refer you for an assessment with a mental health professional specialising in ADHD.

If you have already been diagnosed with ADHD in childhood and need help for your symptoms, talk to your GP about getting a referral.

People with ADHD may often have other conditions too, such as depression, anxiety or addictions, or a learning difficulty such as dyslexia.
What happens at an ADHD assessment

Your appointment will be with an ADHD specialist such as a psychiatrist.

They’ll ask about the history of your symptoms, particularly if they started when you were a child, and how these symptoms affected you at school.

The assessment will focus on different areas of your life, including:work and education
family and friends
medical history, including any mental health issues

The specialist may want to contact someone who knows you well, such as a family member or close friend.

If you’re diagnosed with ADHD, the specialist will talk to you about what this means and what will happen next, including what help and support may be available.

Waiting times for ADHD assessments

Waiting times vary and you may have to wait several months or years to access ADHD specialist services.

You may be able to find a clinic with shorter waiting lists through your GP using the Right to Choose scheme. Read about Right to Choose and your choices in the NHS.

You can ask for an NHS appointment at any clinic, including a private clinic, if it provides ADHD services for the NHS in England.

Find out more about diagnosis pathways for adults on the ADHD UK website.
How to manage ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)

ADHD can be managed in many ways, including lifestyle changes, changes at work, or medicines.

It depends on your symptoms and how they're affecting you. Not everyone needs or wants to take medicine to help manage their ADHD symptoms.

When you get a diagnosis of ADHD, your specialist will discuss ways you can be supported.
Lifestyle

There are things you can do to help yourself.

Make time for physical activities you enjoy, as exercise has many health benefits and can be a good focus for your energy.

Exercise also helps reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression. Anxiety and depression can make your ADHD symptoms worse.

It’s important to get enough sleep. Having a regular bedtime and a quiet dark bedroom can help. Try to avoid screens, caffeine, sugar and alcohol close to bedtime.

Aim for a healthy, balanced diet and regular mealtimes.

You may also find it helpful to talk to friends and family about your ADHD.
Work, college or university

At your workplace or place of study, you can request changes to help you manage your ADHD. These are called “reasonable adjustments”.

Reasonable adjustments may include things like:having a personalised work space in a quiet area
having written instructions as well as spoken instructions
having help from another person to plan and structure your tasks

You can read more about workplace adjustments and other ways to help ADHD on the ADHD UK website.
Medicines

ADHD medicines must be started and monitored by an ADHD specialist.

Medicines that can help with ADHD symptoms include methylphenidate or lisdexamfetamine.

You may need to try more than one medicine to find out what works for you.

A GP may be able to take over prescribing ADHD medicines, but only if there is a “shared care agreement” between the GP and the ADHD specialist. To find out more, talk to your ADHD specialist or GP.
Talking therapies

Talking therapies, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) or mindfulness, may be recommended for adults with ADHD.

ADHD and driving

You must tell the DVLA if your driving is affected by your ADHD or your ADHD medicine, or both.

Find out more about ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) and driving on GOV.UK
ADHD and mental health

People with ADHD may be more likely to have mental health issues such as anxiety and depression.

They are also at higher risk of suicide.

If you're feeling like you want to end your life, it's important to tell someone.

Help and support is available right now if you need it. You do not have to struggle with difficult feelings alone.

Find out how to get help for suicidal thoughts. 
What causes ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)

The cause of ADHD is not always known. ADHD may be caused by genetic differences and often runs in families.

There are several other things linked to ADHD, including being born premature (before 37 weeks of pregnancy), having epilepsy, a brain injury and being autistic.

Some people with ADHD call themselves neurodivergent. Neurodiversity describes the range of different ways our brains work.
Help and support for ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)

If you have ADHD, there are ways to help manage your condition in addition to support from your doctor and workplace.

There are ADHD support groups locally and online.

There are also a number of organisations and charities that can offer information and support about ADHD.
ADHD UK

Information and support for anyone affected by ADHD.Website: www.adhduk.co.uk
Adult ADHD self screening tool (ADHD UK)
Support groups (ADHD UK)
ADHD Adult UK

Information and peer support for adults with ADHD.Website: www.adhdadult.uk
Resources (ADHD Adult UK)
MindOUT

Mental health support for the LGBTQ community.Website: www.mindout.org.uk
Advice and information (MindOUT)
Samaritans

Mental health support for everyone.Website: www.samaritans.org
How we can help (Samaritans)

SOURCE:

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/adhd-adults/(accessed 20.10.26)

'You are not fragile. You are outnumbered.'

Professor Peter Fonagy, Chair of the Independent Review into Mental Health Conditions, ADHD and Autism (2026), with his letter to a young person.

12 October 2026



Dear young person,

I have spent much of my professional life trying to understand why some children and young people struggle with things that others seem to manage without difficulty, and what we can do to help. I have been a psychologist for more than forty years, worked with countless young people and their families, and recently chaired a government review of mental health, ADHD and autism. But I want to tell you something about my own life, because I think it may explain why I care so much about yours.

I came to England in 1967, when I was fifteen, speaking almost no English. I was sent to live with a family in Kew Gardens and attended a secondary modern school (for those who failed the entrance to a grammar school- it was before comprehensives started) where I felt completely out of place. The other boys seemed interested mainly in football teams, about which I knew almost nothing. I couldn't find a way of connecting with them. Within a year I had become severely depressed, stopped wanting to eat or leave my room, and had begun thinking very seriously about ending my life.

I tell you this not because I think my experience was the same as yours. It almost certainly wasn't. But I do know something about what it feels like to be young, frightened, isolated and unable to imagine that life might become different.

What saved me was not a system. It was a neighbour who noticed that something was wrong and knew where to send me.

That turned out to be a clinic in Hampstead founded by Anna Freud for children displaced by war. Many years later, in one of those rather improbable turns that life occasionally takes, I was asked to lead the organisation that had grown out of that clinic. I have never quite got over the coincidence.

I needed quite a bit of therapy, and it saved my life. But what made the difference was not simply the expertise of the person treating me. It was that she seemed able to look past everything that was wrong with me and see someone who might yet have a future.

I remember arriving for a session in a battered Ford Anglia that I loved beyond reason. I talked endlessly about this rather unremarkable car. Instead of interpreting my enthusiasm or trying to redirect me towards my difficulties, my therapist got up, walked to the window, looked at it and said, "Peter, that is a wonderful car".

It was a small moment, but something important happened. She had shown an interest in something that mattered to me, rather than simply in what was wrong with me. Only then did I begin to believe that she might have something worth telling me.

Looking back, I suspect that much of my subsequent research on trust and how we come to understand ourselves and other people has been a rather long footnote to that afternoon.

There was another difficulty. I have severe dysgraphia, a neurodevelopmental condition that makes writing extraordinarily difficult. My school saw this largely as evidence that I was an educational failure. I certainly came to see myself that way.

When I eventually reached University College London following an interview with a compassionate lecturer, someone recognised that my difficulties with writing did not mean that I had nothing worth saying. They allowed my examination papers to be transcribed, long before there was any legal obligation to make such adjustments. I have worked at UCL ever since. I don't think that is entirely a coincidence either.

My difficulty happened to be writing. Yours may be something quite different. You may struggle with attention, communication, anxiety, relationships, getting to school, managing demands that other people find straightforward, or simply finding somewhere you feel you belong. You may have a diagnosis, be waiting for one, or have no idea why things seem harder for you than for other people.

I have met many young people who work extraordinarily hard just to achieve what others appear to manage effortlessly. The effort is often invisible. People see the missed deadline, the absence from school, the unfinished work or the withdrawal from friends. They do not always see what it has cost you to get as far as you have.

One of the things I hope we can change is the assumption that people must first be given a diagnostic label before their difficulties deserve to be understood or supported. Diagnosis can be enormously helpful. It can explain experiences that have been confusing for years and open the way to effective treatment. But it is not the whole person, and it does not tell us everything about what someone needs. It tells us about deficit but says nothing about strengths.

Mental health conditions, ADHD and autism can overlap, but they are not the same. They differ in how they arise, how they develop and what kinds of help are useful. Two people with the same diagnosis may need very different support, while someone without a diagnosis may be struggling enormously. Understanding the individual matters at least as much as understanding the category.

I also want to say something about the world in which you are growing up. I sometimes hear people of my generation describe yours as a generation of snowflakes, as though young people today have somehow become less resilient or less capable of dealing with ordinary life.

As someone who still works clinically with young people, and as a father, I find myself thinking almost exactly the opposite.

I am astonished by the courage of many of the young people I meet.

You are growing up in a world that is in some ways much more difficult than the one I knew. Your performance is constantly measured, your relationships can be publicly scrutinised, and there are endless opportunities to compare yourself with people who appear more attractive, successful, confident or happy. Much of this happens in digital environments from which it is difficult to escape.

You are expected to make important decisions about your future in circumstances that often feel uncertain, while opportunities for belonging, rest, privacy and simply being young have become harder to find.

And then, when you struggle, some adults tell you that you lack resilience.

I don't think you are fragile. I think you are outnumbered.

That doesn't mean every difficult feeling is a mental health disorder, or that every difference needs a diagnosis. Feeling unhappy, anxious, uncertain or overwhelmed is sometimes part of being human. But it does mean that we should take your experience seriously, rather than dismissing it as weakness or assuming that you simply need to try harder.

There is something else I have learnt, both from my own experience and from many years of research. We often think that people must first recover before they can return to education, work, friendships and ordinary life. But the relationship works in both directions. Belonging, having something to do that matters, feeling useful, being understood and having people who are interested in you are not simply rewards for becoming well. They are often part of how we become well.

That is why I hope you will not judge yourself entirely by how well you are managing at this particular moment. Your present difficulties do not tell us everything about your capacities, your future or the person you may become. I cannot promise you that things will be easy, or that the help you need will always be available when you need it. I know only too well that our services often fail young people, sometimes very badly. That is one reason I agreed to chair the Review.

But I can tell you that the right help, offered at the right moment by someone who genuinely wants to understand you, can change the direction of a life. I know that not only from research, but because it happened to me.

I was extraordinarily fortunate. A neighbour noticed. A therapist became interested in my car. A university understood that I could think even when I struggled to write. None of these people could have known what difference they would make. I have spent much of my life trying to understand how we might make that kind of help less dependent on good fortune.

So, if I could leave you with one thought, it would be this: please don't assume that the difficulties you are experiencing now define who you are or what you may become. And don't accept the idea that needing support makes you weak. We all become who we are partly through the understanding, kindness and opportunities that other people make available to us.

You deserve to be noticed, understood and supported, not because you have proved that you are ill enough, or because you have found the right diagnosis, but because what happens to you matters.

And those of us who are older have a responsibility to make sure that the world gives you a better chance than it sometimes does now.

With warmest wishes,

Peter Fonagy

Professor of Contemporary Psychoanalysis and Developmental Science, UCL

Adapted from the Foreword to the Independent Review into Mental Health Conditions, ADHD and Autism (2026).

See also our collections, 'My letter to…' and 'Neurodivergence'

SOURCE:

https://www.bps.org.uk/psychologist/you-are-not-fragile-you-are-outnumbered(accessed 19.10.26)