Monday, 15 December 2025

The mind’s dark night of the soul



Fabian-Xosé Fernandez on what goes on in our heads after midnight…

18 November 2025


It is 3am, and Sarah sits alone on her couch, staring at the dim glow of the television. The remote feels weightless in her hand as she flips through channels with mechanical detachment, her fingers moving without thought, her eyes unfocused. The sound from the screen hums in the background – distant, failing to drown out the storm in her mind. She is not watching; she is merely existing, hollow, caught in the liminal space between exhausted resignation and restless agitation.

Sarah's thoughts are heavy with the weight of her recent divorce – a sense of loss that stalks her, gnawing away with an almost predatory persistence. During the day, she manages to keep herself occupied – work, errands, even socialising. But the night strips away these distractions and pretence, leaving her exposed to the raw, unfiltered truth: she is alone. There is no one to text, no one to call. The warmth of shared moments, the reassuring presence of another heartbeat in the same room, the unspoken comfort of belonging – all of it is gone, swallowed by the abyss of the night.

The room is the same as it was 12 hours ago, yet something about it feels different. In the day, the couch is just a couch, but at 3am, it becomes an island – a vast expanse with no end, no border, no promise of escape. The stillness of the night is suffocating, the silence palpable, pressing in on her like smoke. It is as if the entire universe has receded, leaving her stranded in a void where time slows and emotions loom larger than life, like grotesque and distorted reflections in a circus mirror.

Sarah tries to remind herself that these feelings will subside with the sun's return. But reason has no place in the dead of night. Her mind loops through the same tortured thoughts, revisiting memories like open wounds, replaying moments she wishes she could undo, conversations she wishes had gone differently. The past presents like a phantom. She wants to push it away, then embrace it, but it dissipates in her grasp.

Her body is exhausted – is it even still her body? She shifts restlessly, but no position brings comfort. The minutes crawl, each accented by the clock. This is not mere sadness. This is despair in its most distilled form – a darkness that latches on, whispering that the loneliness she feels now is not just a fleeting moment.
And the worst part? Sarah is not wrong to feel this way. Because in this moment, in this fragile space between midnight and dawn, the world as she knows it has abandoned her. Thoughts, feelings and perceptions really do change in the 'mind after midnight'…
Thoughts

Sarah's inability to shift from despairing rumination to a more adaptive state of mind is not a mere lapse in willpower – it is a reflection of the brain's natural rhythms, which fluctuate throughout the night.

Under normal circumstances, the brain fluidly alternates between two primary networks. The first, the default mode network (DMN), acts as a hub for inwardly focused processes, an agent capable of tying together self-referential thought with introspection, autobiographical memory, bodily sensations, and the emotional weight of past experiences, whether recalled in images, stories, or fleeting impressions in the mind's eye. The second, the task-positive network (TPN), shifts attention outward, enabling focus, problem-solving, and strategic thinking.

In the quiet depths of the night, the seamless transition between these networks short-circuits. The shift becomes sluggish, inefficient, leaving individuals like Sarah trapped in the DMN's grip. Her mind loops through painful memories and hypothetical scenarios, each thought tightening the grip of distress further.

This vulnerability is not unique to Sarah; research indicates that nighttime wakefulness is strongly linked to suicidal ideation, likely because the brain's ability to regulate emotional distress and shift perspective is at its weakest during these hours. In this moment, Sarah's anguish feels absolute – not because she is doomed to suffer, but because, in the altered neurobiological state of the night, escape feels impossible.

Even if Sarah tries to redirect her thoughts onto something constructive, with her brain attempting to shift into the task-positive network (TPN), it, too, is effectively compromised, running at its lowest capacity and sputtering during these late hours. Research suggests that executive function – the flexible cognitive toolkit that the TPN uses to help us self-regulate and stick with behaviours that will help us reach our goals – is naturally impaired during the night, with attentional control and problem-solving becoming further eroded by sleep loss. As a result, the brain's ability to regulate impulses weakens, leaving individuals more vulnerable to emotional overwhelm, particularly when processing difficult personal experiences. For Sarah, her difficult personal experiences now feel sharper, harder to contain, and nearly impossible to reframe.
Sarah's feelings

At 3:30am, Sarah remains on her couch, ensnared in a psychological state dictated by the intricate interplay of circadian rhythms, sleep deprivation, and nocturnal wakefulness. The fog she experiences is more than just fatigue; it is the result of disrupted neurobiological processes that regulate both the 'cognition of mood' and the 'mood of cognition'. As the night deepens, her emotional resilience decays, following well-documented patterns in sleep science.

Research consistently shows that negative affect intensifies in the late-night hours, particularly around the circadian nadir – the point when core body temperature reaches its lowest level and psychological vulnerability peaks. This internal shift manifests outwardly in behaviour. Large-scale linguistic analyses of social media posts across the world reveal a striking universal pattern: words associated with distress, hopelessness, and emotional turmoil all surge between midnight and 4am, regardless of cultural or geographic differences.

Even more concerning, a study of over 10,000 adults found that suicidal ideation follows a similar trajectory, beginning to rise after 1am and peaking between 3 and 5. This alignment suggests that wakefulness during the midnight hours amplifies emotionally-fueled cognitive distortions and mood instability, leaving individuals more susceptible to distressing – and increasingly irrational – thoughts.

Interestingly, controlled sleep deprivation studies demonstrate that even in otherwise healthy individuals without difficult personal circumstances, the absence of sleep exacerbates mood deterioration at night. Prolonged wakefulness heightens emotional reactivity and lowers frustration tolerance, magnifying our negative feelings. Neuroimaging research further reveals that sleep loss amplifies activity in the amygdala – the brain's primary threat detection centre – while weakening connectivity with parts of the task-positive network (TPN) responsible for regulating emotional responses in real time. The result is a brain primed for fear and unable to manage it, especially of bad things that might come true.

All told, Sarah's inability to 'think straight' is a neurobiological inevitability. The very circuits necessary for cognitive clarity and emotional resilience are temporarily compromised by sleep deprivation, compounded by the inherent psychological vulnerabilities of being awake at the circadian nadir in the middle of the night. Most people never notice these disruptions because they are asleep when such vulnerabilities arise. But for Sarah, in the stillness of the coming early morning, her thoughts – already burdened by grief – take on a catastrophic weight that may feel unbearable.
Fleeting perceptions

By 3:45 AM, Sarah's brain is under siege from mounting sleep pressure – the physiological drive to sleep that has been steadily building with every hour she's remained awake. Though she can't fully fall asleep, her brain may be slipping in and out of the lightest stages of sleep, only to jolt back into wakefulness moments later. Because people typically don't recall entering the first stage of sleep, Sarah remains unaware of these brief transitions. But that doesn't mean they aren't affecting her perception.

When sleep becomes highly fragmented, people may begin to experience what are known as hypnagogic hallucinations – vivid sensory experiences that occur as the brain hovers between sleep and wakefulness. During attempts to enter deeper sleep, the brain may begin to dream. If a person wakes suddenly during this process, fragments of the dream can linger in consciousness, blending with reality. It's a state in which the boundaries between the internal and external worlds begin to blur.

In Sarah's case, this might mean reaching toward a figure from her past – a shadowy image of her spouse. Perhaps for a moment, her mind entertains the possibility that the divorce never really happened, and she's waking to the sound of the front door opening, her partner finally coming home late from work, ready to make amends. These illusions aren't delusions; they are a testament to the powerful, disorienting effects of sleep pressure colliding with emotional vulnerability.

As dawn approaches, Sarah's brain will slowly regain its capacity to shift between networks, allowing her thoughts to move beyond the gravitational pull of the DMN. The first hints of morning light will cue subtle neurobiological changes – her circadian rhythm nudging the brain toward sustained arousal and greater efficiency in transitioning between introspection and engagement. With this shift, the task-positive network will begin to reassert itself, making space for more adaptive cognition.

The same memories that felt insurmountable in the dead of night may seem less oppressive, more malleable, as if distance has softened their edges. This is not to say that the pain of loss will vanish with the sunrise, but rather that her brain will once again have access to the cognitive tools necessary for perspective, problem-solving, and, eventually, healing. Though the night magnifies feelings of sorrow, the morning offers proof that emotions, no matter how overwhelming, are transient – ebbing and flowing in tandem with the intricate rhythms of the brain itself.
Nighttime isolation: A historical perspective

Sarah's overwhelming sense of loneliness may, in part, reflect an evolutionary mismatch between modern sleep habits and the social patterns embedded in human history. Anthropological evidence suggests that our ancestors did not sleep in the solitary, uninterrupted fashion common in much of the modern West. Instead, they often practised segmented sleep–waking during the night to talk, tend fires, engage in rituals, or simply connect with others. In many tribal and preindustrial societies, nighttime was a socially dynamic period filled with storytelling, communal bonding, and spiritual practices.

Even today, many traditional societies maintain nighttime routines that foster connection and shared experience. Among the Warlpiri people of Australia, for instance, families sleep communally, and nightly interactions are central to social life. Conversations, storytelling, and group vigilance against threats are woven into their evening rhythms, cultivating both safety and emotional intimacy. Similarly, among the Asabano of Papua New Guinea, the night is a time for connection rather than withdrawal. Extended conversations stretch through the dark hours, reflecting a cultural expectation that nighttime should be socially rich. This communal orientation reinforces ties among community members and strengthens shared norms and values.

For the Maori of New Zealand, sleeping practices are deeply interwoven with cultural and spiritual life. Central to this is the wharenui, or ancestral meeting-house – a communal sleeping structure that doubles as a socio-spiritual centre. Every aspect of the building carries symbolic meaning: the ridgepole represents the spine, the rafters the ribs, and the structure as a whole serves as a living embodiment of ancestral presence.

The wharenui not only reflects Maori resistance to colonial forces but also reinforces cultural continuity and sovereignty. While modern housing has brought private sleep spaces into daily life, the wharenui remains vital during ceremonial events such as funerals and weddings, acting as a bridge between tradition and the present.

Nighttime sociality is also central among the Nuer, a pastoralist people of South Sudan. After sunset, Nuer communities gather around small fires to exchange stories, debate lineage histories, and discuss matters of communal concern. The cool evening air makes this time particularly inviting for dialogue. These gatherings span generations, as elders pass down oral traditions, and younger members absorb lessons in identity, kinship, and moral conduct. Singing, light dancing, courtship rituals, and joking animate these scenes, creating a warm and intimate atmosphere that nurtures social cohesion.

Among the !Kung of the Kalahari Desert, the boundary between ritual and casual social interaction is fluid. Their trance dances, performed in response to illness or injury, serve both spiritual and communal purposes. Healing dances are typically intense and shorter, while celebratory ones – triggered by events like rainfall, successful hunts, or visiting groups – are more relaxed and social in nature.

Both are accompanied by 'firelight talk', a uniquely intimate mode of overnight conversation involving mixed groups of men, women, and children. These discussions help resolve tensions around sensitive issues such as food sharing or infidelity and offer space for emotional honesty and, ultimately, reconciliation.

Unlike daytime interactions, which often revolve around practical concerns, nighttime conversations in these societies are more reflective and emotionally resonant. People share dreams, recount personal experiences, and express feelings with openness and empathy. Among the !Kung, storytelling is a central nighttime practice. Elders pass down myths, legends, and personal narratives that transmit moral values, preserve historical memory, and reinforce a collective identity. These stories are not only entertainment; they are tools for teaching, healing, and guiding decisions that affect the group as a whole.

Co-sleeping arrangements were also common in medieval Europe, where households shared beds and engaged in periodic nighttime activities. The Western shift toward private, uninterrupted sleep largely emerged alongside industrialisation, with artificial lighting and rigid work schedules restructuring the way people experience the night. This historical shift may help explain why modern nighttime solitude can sometimes feel profoundly unnatural.
The consequences of nocturnal distress

The psychological vulnerability of nighttime wakefulness has real-world consequences. Research shows that suicides occur disproportionately between 2am and 4am, after adjusting for the number of people typically awake during those hours. Similarly, other high-risk behaviours – such as substance abuse and impulsive violence—also tend to spike during the night. Opioid overdoses, for example, are nearly five times more likely to occur in the middle of the night, while alcohol cravings often peak in the early morning hours. Studies further indicate that nighttime wakefulness amplifies aggression and increases the likelihood of violent incidents, including homicides.

Taken together, these findings underscore how the night can be a particularly perilous time, especially for individuals already trying to cope with emotional distress or impaired judgment.
What can we do?

Understanding the psychological and physiological risks of nighttime wakefulness is the first step toward mitigating its negative effects. One important strategy is to acknowledge that thoughts and emotions may be distorted at night; recognising that feelings of hopelessness or catastrophising are often amplified during these hours can help prevent impulsive or harmful decisions.

Establishing a consistent sleep routine – by going to bed and waking at the same time each day – reinforces circadian stability and reduces the likelihood of being awake at night. Minimising exposure to artificial light, especially blue light from screens, is also crucial, as it suppresses melatonin production and disrupts sleep. Dimming lights in the evening and avoiding screens for at least an hour before bed can support a smoother transition to sleep.

If you do wake up during the night, it's helpful to engage in soothing, non-stimulating activities – such as reading, practising deep breathing, or listening to calming music – rather than turning to screens or social media. Since nighttime wakefulness often coincides with feelings of isolation, seeking social support can also be valuable. Regular check-ins with friends or participation in online support communities during the day can foster a sense of connection and emotional reassurance, especially for those experiencing chronic loneliness. For individuals grappling with insomnia or challenging personal circumstances, these social interactions may help buffer the negative effects of nighttime wakefulness, offering a stabilising sense of support when it's most needed.
Finding meaning in the night

The night has long been a time for introspection, creativity, and deep human connection. Rather than seeing nighttime wakefulness solely as a problem to be fixed, we might consider how to integrate our ancestral tendencies for nocturnal socialisation into modern life in a way that supports well-being. Perhaps by reimagining how we engage with the night – both individually and as a society – we can transform it from a time of loneliness (and sometimes distress) into one of connection and healing.

For Sarah and countless others who find themselves awake in the dead of night, understanding the psychological forces at play can be empowering. By recognising how the mind changes after midnight, implementing strategies to mitigate its risks, and advocating for societal adaptations, we can navigate the darkness, step by step, with greater resilience.

Fabian-Xosé Fernandez is an Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Arizona.
Reference list

Aizenstein, H. J., Butters, M. A., Wu, M., Mazurkewicz, L. M., Stenger, V. A., Gianaros, P. J., ... & Carter, C. S. (2009). Altered functioning of the executive control circuit in late-life depression: episodic and persistent phenomena. The American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, 17(1), 30-42.
Bartova, L., Meyer, B. M., Diers, K., Rabl, U., Scharinger, C., Popovic, A., ... & Pezawas, L. (2015). Reduced default mode network suppression during a working memory task in remitted major depression. Journal of Psychiatric Research, 64, 9-18.
Berry, A. S., Sarter, M., & Lustig, C. (2017). Distinct frontoparietal networks underlying attentional effort and cognitive control. Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience, 29(7), 1212-1225.
Boo, J., Matsubayashi, T., & Ueda, M. (2019). Diurnal variation in suicide timing by age and gender: evidence from Japan across 41 years. Journal of Affective Disorders, 243, 366-374.
Boivin, D. B., Czeisler, C. A., Dijk, D. J., Duffy, J. F., Folkard, S., Minors, D. S., ... & Waterhouse, J. M. (1997). Complex interaction of the sleep-wake cycle and circadian phase modulates mood in healthy subjects. Archives of General Psychiatry, 54(2), 145-152.
Buckner, R. L., Andrews‐Hanna, J. R., & Schacter, D. L. (2008). The brain's default network: anatomy, function, and relevance to disease. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1124(1), 1-38.
Chellappa, S. L., Morris, C. J., & Scheer, F. A. (2020). Circadian misalignment increases mood vulnerability in simulated shift work. Scientific Reports, 10(1), 18614.
Diamond, A. (2013). Executive functions. Annual Review of Psychology, 64(1), 135-168.
DIJK, D. J., Duffy, J. F., & Czeisler, C. A. (1992). Circadian and sleep/wake dependent aspects of subjective alertness and cognitive performance. Journal of Sleep Research, 1(2), 112-117.
Drevets, W. C., & Raichle, M. E. (1998). Reciprocal suppression of regional cerebral blood flow during emotional versus higher cognitive processes: Implications for interactions between emotion and cognition. Cognition and Emotion, 12, 353-385.
Durmer, J. S., & Dinges, D. F. (2005, March). Neurocognitive consequences of sleep deprivation. In Seminars in Neurology (Vol. 25, No. 01, pp. 117-129). Copyright© 2005 by Thieme Medical Publishers, Inc.
Dutta, R., Gkotsis, G., Velupillai, S., Bakolis, I., & Stewart, R. (2021). Temporal and diurnal variation in social media posts to a suicide support forum. BMC Psychiatry, 21(1), 259.
Dzogang, F., Lightman, S., & Cristianini, N. (2017). Circadian mood variations in Twitter content. Brain and Neuroscience Advances, 1, 2398212817744501.
Emens, J. S., Berman, A. M., Thosar, S. S., Butler, M. P., Roberts, S. A., Clemons, N. A., ... & Shea, S. A. (2020). Circadian rhythm in negative affect: Implications for mood disorders. Psychiatry Research, 293, 113337.
Evans-Pritchard, E. E. (1940). The Nuer: A description of the modes of livelihood and political institutions of a Nilotic people. Clarendon Press.
Fox, M. D., Snyder, A. Z., Vincent, J. L., Corbetta, M., Van Essen, D. C., & Raichle, M. E. (2005). The human brain is intrinsically organized into dynamic, anticorrelated functional networks. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 102(27), 9673-9678.
Golder, S. A., & Macy, M. W. (2011). Diurnal and seasonal mood vary with work, sleep, and daylength across diverse cultures. Science, 333(6051), 1878-1881.
Goel, N., Basner, M., Rao, H., & Dinges, D. F. (2013). Circadian rhythms, sleep deprivation, and human performance. Progress in Molecular Biology and Translational Science, 119, 155-190.
Gusnard, D. A., Akbudak, E., Shulman, G. L., & Raichle, M. E. (2001). Medial prefrontal cortex and self-referential mental activity: relation to a default mode of brain function. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 98(7), 4259-4264.
Harshaw, C. (2015). Interoceptive dysfunction: toward an integrated framework for understanding somatic and affective disturbance in depression. Psychological Bulletin, 141(2), 311.
Harrington, M. O., Ashton, J. E., Sankarasubramanian, S., Anderson, M. C., & Cairney, S. A. (2021). Losing control: Sleep deprivation impairs the suppression of unwanted thoughts. Clinical Psychological Science, 9(1), 97-113.
Hisler, G. C., Rothenberger, S. D., Clark, D. B., & Hasler, B. P. (2021). Is there a 24-hour rhythm in alcohol craving and does it vary by sleep/circadian timing?. Chronobiology International, 38(1), 109-121.
Kahn-Greene, E. T., Lipizzi, E. L., Conrad, A. K., Kamimori, G. H., & Killgore, W. D. (2006). Sleep deprivation adversely affects interpersonal responses to frustration. Personality and Individual Differences, 41(8), 1433-1443.
Killgore, W. D. (2010). Effects of sleep deprivation on cognition. Progress in Brain Research, 185, 105-129.
Killgore, W. D., Balkin, T. J., & Wesensten, N. J. (2006). Impaired decision making following 49 h of sleep deprivation. Journal of Sleep Research, 15(1), 7-13.
Killgore, W. D., Balkin, T. J., Yarnell, A. M., & Capaldi II, V. F. (2017). Sleep deprivation impairs recognition of specific emotions. Neurobiology of Sleep and Circadian Rhythms, 3, 10-16.
Killgore, W. D., Kahn-Greene, E. T., Lipizzi, E. L., Newman, R. A., Kamimori, G. H., & Balkin, T. J. (2008). Sleep deprivation reduces perceived emotional intelligence and constructive thinking skills. Sleep Medicine, 9(5), 517-526.
Lee, J. H., Wang, W., Silva, E. J., Chang, A. M., Scheuermaier, K. D., Cain, S. W., & Duffy, J. F. (2009). Neurobehavioral performance in young adults living on a 28-h day for 6 weeks. Sleep, 32(7), 905-913.
Ly, J. Q., Gaggioni, G., Chellappa, S. L., Papachilleos, S., Brzozowski, A., Borsu, C., ... & Vandewalle, G. (2016). Circadian regulation of human cortical excitability. Nature Communications, 7(1), 11828.
Monk, T., Buysse, D., Reynolds Iii, C. H. A. R. L. E. S., Berga, S., Jarrett, D., Begley, A. M. Y., & Kupfer, D. (1997). Circadian rhythms in human performance and mood under constant conditions. Journal of Sleep Research, 6(1), 9-18.
Monk, T. H., Buysse, D. J., Reynolds III, C. F., Jarrett, D. B., & Kupfer, D. J. (1992). Rhythmic vs homeostatic influences on mood, activation, and performance in young and old men. Journal of Gerontology, 47(4), P221-P227.
Montero-Moraga, J. M., Garrido-Albaina, A., Barbaglia, M. G., Gotsens, M., Aranega, D., Espelt, A., & Parés-Badell, O. (2020). Impact of 24-hour schedule of a drug consumption room on service use and number of non-fatal overdoses. A quasiexperimental study in Barcelona. International Journal of Drug Policy, 81, 102772.
Musharbash, Y. (2013). Embodied meaning: sleeping arrangements in Central Australia. In Sleep around the world: Anthropological perspectives (pp. 45-60). New York: Palgrave Macmillan US.
Niendam, T. A., Laird, A. R., Ray, K. L., Dean, Y. M., Glahn, D. C., & Carter, C. S. (2012). Meta-analytic evidence for a superordinate cognitive control network subserving diverse executive functions. Cognitive, Affective, & Behavioral Neuroscience, 12, 241-268.
Nilsson, J. P., Söderström, M., Karlsson, A. U., Lekander, M., Åkerstedt, T., Lindroth, N. E., & Axelsson, J. (2005). Less effective executive functioning after one night's sleep deprivation. Journal of Sleep Research, 14(1), 1-6.
Ohayon, M. M., Priest, R. G., Caulet, M., & Guilleminault, C. (1996). Hypnagogic and hypnopompic hallucinations: pathological phenomena?. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 169(4), 459-467.
Pace‐Schott, E. F., Nave, G., Morgan, A., & Spencer, R. M. (2012). Sleep‐dependent modulation of affectively guided decision‐making. Journal of Sleep Research, 21(1), 30-39.
Popov, T., Westner, B. U., Silton, R. L., Sass, S. M., Spielberg, J. M., Rockstroh, B., ... & Miller, G. A. (2018). Time course of brain network reconfiguration supporting inhibitory control. Journal of Neuroscience, 38(18), 4348-4356.
Reeve, S., Emsley, R., Sheaves, B., & Freeman, D. (2018). Disrupting sleep: the effects of sleep loss on psychotic experiences tested in an experimental study with mediation analysis. Schizophrenia Bulletin, 44(3), 662-671.
Reeve, S., Sheaves, B., & Freeman, D. (2015). The role of sleep dysfunction in the occurrence of delusions and hallucinations: a systematic review. Clinical Psychology Review, 42, 96-115.
Seeley, W. W., Menon, V., Schatzberg, A. F., Keller, J., Glover, G. H., Kenna, H., ... & Greicius, M. D. (2007). Dissociable intrinsic connectivity networks for salience processing and executive control. Journal of Neuroscience, 27(9), 2349-2356.
Sheaves, B., Bebbington, P. E., Goodwin, G. M., Harrison, P. J., Espie, C. A., Foster, R. G., & Freeman, D. (2016). Insomnia and hallucinations in the general population: findings from the 2000 and 2007 British Psychiatric Morbidity Surveys. Psychiatry Research, 241, 141-146.
Sheline, Y. I., Barch, D. M., Price, J. L., Rundle, M. M., Vaishnavi, S. N., Snyder, A. Z., ... & Raichle, M. E. (2009). The default mode network and self-referential processes in depression. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 106(6), 1942-1947.
Silton, R. L., Heller, W., Towers, D. N., Engels, A. S., Spielberg, J. M., Edgar, J. C., ... & Miller, G. A. (2010). The time course of activity in dorsolateral prefrontal cortex and anterior cingulate cortex during top-down attentional control. Neuroimage, 50(3), 1292-1302.
Sisti, D., Rocchi, M. B., Macciò, A., & Preti, A. (2012). The epidemiology of homicide in Italy by season, day of the week and time of day. Medicine, Science and the Law, 52(2), 100-106.
Slama, H., Chylinski, D. O., Deliens, G., Leproult, R., Schmitz, R., & Peigneux, P. (2018). Sleep deprivation triggers cognitive control impairments in task-goal switching. Sleep, 41(2), zsx200.
Shulman, G. L., Fiez, J. A., Corbetta, M., Buckner, R. L., Miezin, F. M., Raichle, M. E., & Petersen, S. E. (1997). Common blood flow changes across visual tasks: II. Decreases in cerebral cortex. Journal of Cognitive Neuroscience, 9(5), 648-663.
Tubbs, A. S., Fernandez, F. X., Grandner, M. A., Perlis, M. L., & Klerman, E. B. (2022). The mind after midnight: Nocturnal wakefulness, behavioral dysregulation, and psychopathology. Frontiers in Network Physiology, 1, 830338.
Tubbs, A. S., Fernandez, F. X., Johnson, D. A., Perlis, M. L., & Grandner, M. A. (2021). Nocturnal and morning wakefulness are differentially associated with suicidal ideation in a nationally representative sample. The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 82(6), 36963.
Tubbs, A. S., Fernandez, F. X., Klerman, E. B., Karp, J. F., Basner, M., Chakravorty, S., ... & Grandner, M. A. (2024). Risk for Suicide and Homicide Peaks at Night: Findings From the National Violent Death Reporting System, 35 States, 2003–2017. The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 85(2), 55034.
Tubbs, A. S., Perlis, M. L., Basner, M., Chakravorty, S., Khader, W., Fernandez, F., & Grandner, M. A. (2020). Relationship of nocturnal wakefulness to suicide risk across months and methods of suicide. The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 81(2), 12825.
Van Der Helm, E., Yao, J., Dutt, S., Rao, V., Saletin, J. M., & Walker, M. P. (2011). REM sleep depotentiates amygdala activity to previous emotional experiences. Current Biology, 21(23), 2029-2032.
Van Meijl, T. (2013). Māori collective sleeping as cultural resistance. In Sleep around the world: anthropological perspectives (pp. 133-149). New York: Palgrave Macmillan US.
Walker, M. P., & van Der Helm, E. (2009). Overnight therapy? The role of sleep in emotional brain processing. Psychological Bulletin, 135(5), 731-748.
Wiessner, P. W. (2014). Embers of society: Firelight talk among the Ju/'hoansi Bushmen. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 111(39), 14027-14035.
Worthman, C. M., & Melby, M. K. (2002). Toward a comparative developmental ecology of human sleep. In M. A. Carskadon (Ed.), Adolescent sleep patterns: Biological, social, and psychological influences (pp. 69–117). Cambridge University Press.
Yoo, S. S., Gujar, N., Hu, P., Jolesz, F. A., & Walker, M. P. (2007). The human emotional brain without sleep—a prefrontal amygdala disconnect. Current Biology, 17(20), R877-R878.


SOURCE:

Wednesday, 10 December 2025

Growing up with grandparents in the house can lead to more negative attitudes towards the elderly


A new study has found that people who had grown up with an elderly person had significantly lower opinions of the elderly than those who had not.

13 July 2020

By Emma Young



What happens if you grow up with a grandparent living in your home? Does the prolonged contact counter prejudices, biases and stereotypes of the elderly? Or might it instead encourage negative perceptions of older people as being slow, angry or sickly, for example?

These are important questions, partly because in some countries, though not all, an increasing number of elderly people are moving in with family members. In the US, for example, 15% of older adults are now living in someone else's household, up from 7% in 1995.

Now a new paper, published in Social Psychology, by Brian T Smith and Kelly Charlton at the University of North Carolina, suggests that this trend could be causing undesirable outcomes: people in the study who had grown up with an elderly person had significantly lower opinions of the elderly than those who had not. However, these respondents did at least report less anxiety around their own ageing process.

Smith and Charlton studied 309 Americans, all recruited online. Of these, 194 reported growing up with an older adult — and 80 of these people said that the older adult in their home had suffered from a serious illness.

All the participants completed a series of surveys that explored, among other things, their current levels of contact with elderly people, the positivity (or otherwise) of this contact, their general attitudes towards elderly people, and also their anxieties about growing old themselves.

The analysis revealed that people who'd grown up with elderly people had lower opinions of older adults (this was especially true of those who'd grown up with an older adult who had been sick). The analysis also revealed that people in this group had greater levels of current anxiety about interacting with older adults. Overall, "our findings indicate that even years after a young adult has presumably moved out of the home, growing up in that home with an older adult had a significant negative effect on opinions of the elderly," the researchers write.

This finding contrasts with other work suggesting that contact with 'out'-groups (such as minority groups) can counter prejudices. However, the researchers did observe that participants who had grown up with an older adult and who then managed to maintain frequent contact with elderly people did have more positive current opinions of older adults. Among this group, the older adult who'd lived at home was less likely to have suffered from an illness.

Living with someone with a mental or physical illness can cause chronic strain and impact the health of others in the house, the researchers note. It often means that everyone in the house becomes a caregiver and, as the pair writes, "the effects of being a caregiver are generally negative, associated with severe negative and physical outcomes".

Given all this, it's surprising that people who'd grown up with an elderly person also reported being less anxious about their own ageing. But the researchers suspect cognitive dissonance could be at work here: "Younger adults who are faced with the realities of ageing (even if the older adult in their life is not seriously ill) may feel threatened by this. To reduce their discomfort at the idea of becoming older, they may tell themselves that their aging outcomes will be different."

There are various limitations to the study. All the participants were American, so whether the same results would apply elsewhere is not clear. Also, the researchers didn't ask the participants directly about their opinions of the older adult that they grew up with.

Still, the work does suggest that if a grandparent — especially a sick one — moves in to a family home, this will not necessarily improve the attitudes of children in the house towards older people. Parents may need to consider the quality of the relationship their children have with older people in their lives, and do whatever they can to encourage a positive relationship — especially if a grandparent is sick.


SOURCE:


So, you’re about to become a grandparent?




Terri Apter with some evidence-based tips, drawn from her new book 'Grandparenting: On Love and Relationships Across Generations'.

13 February 2025



Becoming a grandparent changes your relationship with every member of the family. Suddenly you are a parent of a parent who has their own view of what's best for their child. You are overwhelmed by an attachment to the new family member, but you have no direct control of their care. In this under-explored aspect of family life, I found – both in my own experience and in my research – many surprises.

So, here's my list of challenges you can expect, and how best to meet them.


1. In the early stages, be prepared to receive more criticism of your input than gratitude for your motives

Parents' brains are working overtime to learn about their own child. Grandparents' 'help' can interfere with their concentration, and heighten anxiety about their own parental skills. If you get some version of 'back off' when offering good advice, try not to be offended. The bad temper will soon pass.
2. When helping out with a grandchild, try to avoid an 'I know best' tone of voice

I was surprised how often grandparents declared with a dogmatic certainty, 'He's tired. He needs to be put down,' or, 'She's over-stimulated. We need to turn out the lights.' Grandparents generally have more experience than new parents in dealing with babies, but they also have less authority. Also, remember that baby care advice changes a lot in a generation, so you may discover you seem more old-fashioned than wise. This doesn't mean your advice is never welcome.
3. An accompanying joy of connecting to your new grandchild is witnessing your child becoming a parent…

But you may also find yourself newly (and critically) assessing your child-in-law: 'Are they pulling their weight or supporting your own child sufficiently?' Your own child is unlikely to find this criticism supportive.
4. At some point the parents will accuse you of 'spoiling' your grandchild

Children spot the difference between parents' rules and grandparents' house rules, so some discrepancy in levels of indulgence and discipline do no harm. But take your cues from parents as to which of their rules about behaviour or gifts or activities are red lines.
5. The geography of your home will be transformed during grandchildren's visits

Some new grandparents are disconcerted as baby paraphernalia and toys are scattered throughout the house. (See photo, above, of me with my own grandchildren.) Soon, everything in the house becomes a child's toy. Try to conserve energy for a post-visit clean-up!
6. The most common advice grandparents hear is, 'Bite your tongue.' Try to find a way around this.

Silencing yourself to avoid conflict may avoid open conflict but it limits your relationship with the parents. Instead, try to express your views in the form of a question or open conversation. "Do you think the child might like…?" signals that you see the parent as expert without having to silence yourself.'
7. Your confidence that you know your grandchild will constantly be challenged

Grandchildren change rapidly, and as they grow they need the people close to them to keep up. It's wise to monitor those grandparent exclamations of delight that warmed an infant but infuriate a six-year-old. It's worthwhile making the effort to learn about their new interests. Even a surly teen is likely to be responsive to a grandparent's genuine interest in who they are and who they will become.
8. You might have less than generous feelings towards the other grandparents

'Why does their religion/language/custom get priority?' is something some grandparents found themselves wondering (a concern that was inconsistent with their self image of tolerance and generosity). But if you feel shut out by the parents you're justified in challenging this exclusion. Begin the conversation with your own child, focusing on what you would like, rather than on your complaints about the other grandparents.
9. Don't be surprised if you feel back to where you were as a parent yourself – torn between wanting to have time to do your own thing and responding to others' urgent demands

One third of working mothers rely on grandparents for some regular childcare, and grandparents want to support their own child's career and they want to engage with their grandchild. But they can also feel over-stretched and taken for granted. Try to look at competing demands as opportunities and options.
10. This relationship has surprisingly long term value for you both

Close bonds with grandparents provide children with a buffer from common adverse experiences such as parents' divorce. An active relationship with grandchildren also contributes to grandparents' health and longevity. Grandparents who engage with their grandchildren have a reduced risk of developing dementia compared to those in their age group who do not. It's win/win, so worth the work. Grandparenting: On Love and Relationships Across Generations is published by September (Duckworth).



SOURCE:


Thursday, 4 December 2025

Damage across the generations


A Mother/Grandmother’s perspective on family estrangement; with comment from Dr Terri Apter (University of Cambridge).

21 November 2025

Two years ago, our lives changed. My husband and I had been away for a month, and we returned home to provide childcare for our grandchildren as planned. During the holiday, connection with our daughter had seemed to dwindle. We'd been sending photos and messages, with one or two going unanswered. But when we still hadn't caught up to make the arrangements and the week was already underway, it worried us. Our daughter's detachment, and lack of any interest in our lives, had been troubling us.



We were about to be cast out into a wilderness. There was no tragedy you might expect preceding these events. No divorce, major illness or addiction to contend with. There was no background of feuds or dysfunction. We looked after our grandchildren regularly, providing help with their childcare since they were born. There was no conflict around the usual cross-generational triggers. We were in agreement with our daughter and her husband about the children's best interests, and happy to take guidance from them.



My daughter had had a lot of stresses – illness in the family, a house move, a change of job, plus a hangover from the pandemic to deal with. We looked for practical ways to help where we could. We made allowances for her coldness.



My husband called her to sort out the arrangements, and asked her to open up about what was wrong. Looking back, the effort was clumsy and clearly ill-timed. In the course of the call he told her he loved her and that she mattered to him. He wanted to know what was the cause of the distance that had come between us, and what could be done about it. She reacted very badly; she seemed angry, said he was putting pressure on her, and cut him off.



There followed a week where we gave her space and hoped she would come round. She didn't. We haven't seen or spoken to her since – two years now.



This is an appeal for psychologists, and any others with influence, to understand the costs of adult children going 'no contact' with their parents, and the casualties when grandchildren are also involved. Should this ever be validated or encouraged, aside from the important exclusions of serious cases of physical, emotional or sexual abuse? Nobody would begin to argue that in those serious cases it is not entirely right and appropriate; but beyond these circumstances, would you defend or even encourage an adult child to take action such as this, resulting in damage across the generations? To make this choice rather than to work instead at finding a solution? And how much help is out there for families in these circumstances?



A shocking realisation

We each apologised to her in the early weeks by email, for contributing in any way to her stress. We asked for guidelines that would help us move forward. Our aim was to reconcile… that was the important thing. But as all this was unfolding and I struggled to make sense of it, an alarming idea occurred to me – was she possibly, even unconsciously, blaming us for her troubles? Turning on a safe close target?



We didn't address that directly – we loved her unconditionally, and simply appealed to her for perspective – it all seemed out of any proportion. Her written reply, when one did come, was so angry that we reeled from the shock of it.



We pulled back for a bit and then, rather than trying to defend ourselves, we asked for compassion and focused on requests to see our grandchildren. But eventually, we were blocked from all communication. We continue to send our grandchildren cards and gifts by post, but with no acknowledgement that they had reached them. There are no Zoom calls or photographs, no updates. There's a blocking of information from any other sources which even, it became apparent, involved recruiting extended family to the campaign.



We reached out for help from our close core family group – her brother, her aunt and others. But there followed a shocking realisation that there was no desire for reconciliation. Mediation was rejected out of hand. I have written many hundreds of words, but none of it penetrates the wall that has been built to keep us out. Many of these messages are met with complete silence. I learn painfully what gaslighting is and how utterly wounding silent treatment can be. I wake up daily with a feeling that my chest is constricted, and then remember what is weighing down on me.



Occasionally I have some respite. I dream about them. I'm hugging them, and feel convinced for a few moments that we can fix this. It doesn't last. Nothing has worked.

An ugly story

How have we come to this? What have our relations with our families been like to bring about this outcome? Have they been poor, fractious, toxic even? All I can say is that we had no previous indications of this. In a way that feels worse, because what is there to fix? We have somehow become bad – villains, even. Is there no recognition of years of practical emotional and financial support? It's not that we expected reciprocity. It was not transactional, given as it was out of love and a belief in showing that love through actions. But there is no goodwill here for us and no compassion, and that alarms me. What kind of thinking leads to this?

I am realistic enough to know that we are being judged by others on how this looks. We must have done something awful to bring about such an extreme reaction from our daughter. When our son and his wife throw their lot in with them and also cut us off… well, surely that's further confirmation that we deserve this.

What is the best we can expect now? Is there any sort of closure for grandparents subjected to estrangement at the hands of their own adult children? Where do you go with it? What do you do with the hurt? Is it possible to repair and rebuild shattered identities, which were almost wholly 'mother and grandmother', 'father and grandfather'? And is there realistically potential to heal in these final decades of life, when everything has been upturned so brutally?

All our relationships have been impacted, but others have been fatally damaged as the ripples of a family estrangement extend in widening circles around us. How do I relate any more to friends, contemporaries who are almost all grandparents? If I avoid the pain, and also the effort this now requires of me, then isolation and loneliness become my companions. It is a difficult story for us to share and difficult for others to hear, even with those who still do care about us. What kind of people can we be, whose son and daughter have rejected them? And what words of comfort can be offered anyway? It's a very ugly story.

A call for more status

The road to recovery requires a belief that things can get better, but we feel cast aside and worthless. We are grief-stricken, and at times we allow ourselves privately to be angry. I dream that I am utterly cast adrift and have lost my bearings. That I don't know this place. I desperately want to go home or at least find a safe harbour, but I know that this is really about family and how all my efforts are failing.

Grandchildren have no automatic rights for the relationship with their grandparents to be maintained. Grandparents have no rights for contact with their grandchildren, even though their role is recognised as important. We are advised that in the family courts there would be no requirement for parties to attend mediation. But does this protect the rights of children to their extended family life and the value that many grandparents bring to it?



And yet this close relationship results in benefits for both generations, research shows. There needs to be more focus on it, as well as the potential for real psychological harm to both young and old. It should be better recognised in law – not to ultimately deny a parent's rights, but to recognise it as an important welfare issue and something worth preserving.


'A balanced view of parental efforts versus a child's experience is, in the context of estrangement, unattainable…'

A comment from Dr Terri Apter, University of Cambridge.

Family rifts are a staple of stories, from the Bible to Greek myths to contemporary plays, novels and TV series. But it is only in the past decade that psychologists have begun to explore how and why one family member deliberately breaks off contact with another. In 2015, Hidden Voices: Family Estrangement In Adulthood, a collaboration between Dr Lucy Blake and Becca Bland, explored the experiences of 800 people estranged from their families. In 2023, Joshua Coleman's book Rules of Estrangement mapped the varied and very painful dynamics of family estrangements, primarily from the parents' perspective. In my 2025 book Grandparenting: On Love and Relationships Across Generations I explore estrangement through the consequential loss of access to grandchildren.

There are as yet few models of this complex and often chaotic dynamic. As in so many cases when an adult child and parent are estranged, the author's daughter initiates the estrangement for reasons her parents cannot fathom. The question she poses to 'psychologists (and others with influence)' is whether a child's rejection of a parent 'should ever be validated or encouraged' where there is no evidence of physical/sexual abuse. Yet in one-to-one therapy, clients often seek resonance for their belief that a difficult parent/child relationship results from the parent's 'toxicity' or 'narcissism'.

Coleman, however, who works with many estranged parents, insists that the toll on the rejected parents should be a significant consideration. The costs in terms of pain, loneliness, self-doubt and a consequent loss of relationships with, for example, grandchildren, are high. Perhaps the core therapeutic principle of empathy with and reflection of the client's perspective needs to be challenged?

The grandparent's question appears measured and reasonable, but in the context of family estrangement it is largely irrelevant. Any approach based on the assumption that justifications and harms can be weighed fairly on each side is likely to be futile. The perspectives of child and parent in such cases are often unrecognisable to one another. The parent has warm memories of wonderful times with the child and knows they had only good intentions, while the adult child reels off a staggering list of harms that a parent inflicted and perhaps continues to inflict. Refuting these accusations is likely to be seen as proof of the parent's unwillingness to understand the child. Perhaps the adult child's view is manipulated – for example, by a partner who for some reason wants to alienate their in-laws – but a parent's self-defence is no match for whatever influence is currently shaping the child's views. If the child blames a parent for how their own life turned out, then a parent's reminder of the support and encouragement they offered will simply reinforce the child's belief that their parent wants to make them feel guilty or 'bad'. Appeals to the child to consider the parent's need for connection are also likely to be counterproductive; perhaps such appeals reinforce the child's view that the parent thinks only of themselves.

A balanced view of parental efforts versus a child's experience is, in the context of estrangement, unattainable. The rejecting child will shut down in the face of a parent's pleas to be given a fair hearing. Such efforts will be interpreted as attempts to prove the child 'wrong'. However painful, Joshua Coleman advises, a parent must listen to the child's complaints and find some kernel of truth. Empathy with the child's accusations is difficult but necessary. So to some extent the rejected parent needs to 'validate' the child's view, but this does not require self-flagellation. The message, 'I know you are doing this because you genuinely feel this is best for you and I want to understand why', may reassure the child that it is safe for them to repair the relationship.

But what if, as in this case, the rejecting child is unmoved by such parental efforts? What if they ignore or 'ghost' the parent, meeting every gesture of reconciliation with cold silence? There is little a parent can do to shift the gears of this relationship if a child remains stuck in the grooves of resentment. The most a parent can do is signal their willingness to reconnect. At intervals, they can send a message conveying good wishes and a hope that soon the child will be willing to open up and assure the child that when they do, you will listen without defending yourself or arguing against their position.

It is estimated that 1 in 7 grandparent is denied easy access to grandchildren by an estranging child or child-in-law. Establishing the precise number is difficult because of the stigma and shame surrounding family estrangement. They worry, as this grandparent does, that others will conclude there must be something wrong with you if your own child keeps their child from seeing you. Until such a time as adult child and parent are reconciled – efforts that can take years – what can grandparents do to alleviate what many refer to as the 'raw wound' of a grandchild's absence in their life?

Grandparents have no automatic rights to see their grandchildren. They can apply to the court for a Child Arrangement Order, providing they can show that contact with them is in the best interests of the child. But such recourse is unlikely to mend the rift with their child. Deprived of contact with and even information about their grandchild, they worry about the negative things the parents might say about them. They worry that the grandchild might conclude that the grandparent does not want to see them. Pat Hansen, whose daughter cut ties with her when her granddaughter was four-years-old, mended 'the hole in her heart' by writing letters in preparation for the day she might see her granddaughter again. In these letters she built a picture of herself to counter the very negative views of her daughter. She includes accounts of where she goes, what she sees, and what experiences she would like to share with granddaughter.

The pain of estrangement rarely ebbs with time, but, Coleman advises, parents should 'compartmentalise' this grief to limit its impact. A child takes this drastic step for their own varied reasons. But when you have done your best, their decision should not ruin your life.



The author responds:

I have two aims in shining a spotlight on this painful experience. Many grandparents/parents caught up in family estrangement have been 'good enough' parents or better. It becomes utterly impossible to improve the situation where dark motives are attributed to their every effort to reconcile. And perhaps there is nothing counselling/psychology services have to offer to grandparents beyond advice to 'compartmentalise the grief' (if that is achievable for some). But if grandparents are largely on their own dealing with this trauma, what about grandchildren who are caught up in this? What do we all owe them? The child has a fundamental right to an ongoing loving relationship with other significant adults in their family life. Do we place value on the extended family, on grandparents and their often important nurturing role in their grandchildren's lives? Or do we see them as disposable? This is not an attempt to undermine parental rights but rather in the absence of evidence of harm, a presumption that the grandchildren/grandparent relationship should be protected. Those family connections can be at times vital to children, providing them with stability and a sense of legacy. Dr Apter herself talks elsewhere about the important role of the grandparent and quotes as an example the feeling of safety many grandchildren report having in their grandparents' company. And with the reports of growing rates of anxiety amongst schoolchildren we need to take this seriously. Is there a place for this to be recognised and encouraged in therapy, even when 'no contact' is the choice a parent makes for themselves in this situation? There is an injustice at the heart of this. Children have rights that should not be overlooked.



SOURCE:

Wednesday, 26 November 2025

Non-binary insights slip through the cracks in sexuality research



A recent review paper unpicks methodological hurdles and highlights the need for mindful research inclusion of those beyond the gender binary.

14 November 2025

By Emily Reynolds


Over the past decade, research into the sexuality of gender non-conforming people has grown rapidly. Despite this increased interest, however, those who identify as non-binary often remain under-represented within broader research on gender and sexuality. This poses a problem not only for non-binary people and their partners in terms of being more widely understood, but also for professionals seeking to update their knowledge in order to provide support who might be left with relatively little peer-reviewed information to draw on.

To assess the size of this research gap, Fraedan Mastrantonio and team from the University of Southampton draw on twelve years' worth of papers on non-binary people's sexuality. Writing in Archives of Sexual Behavior, they present a rounded image of what's been investigated so far, and find that non-binary people have some things in common with their binary transgender peers — but that the measures used in research often fail to fully capture their experiences.

The team gathered studies published between 2012 and 2024 focusing on non-binary sexuality, including satisfaction, pleasure, fantasy, relationship quality, and sexual distress. They then reviewed each of the 44 eligible papers based on who participated, how gender identity was explored, what variables were measured, and any main results.

Firstly, while many of the studies were high quality, the team found a number of interesting methodological issues. One of the primary issues was that non-binary identities were often labelled as 'other' or write-in, meaning that different non-binary identities were often lumped together in one group. This prevents researchers from being able to compare and contrast these groups, which potentially results in missing nuanced differences between their experiences. In most studies it also wasn't clear if non-binary participants also identified as transgender.

In terms of orientation, non-binary people overwhelmingly gravitated towards non-normative labels. Queer was the most frequently used; pansexual, bisexual, and asexual also appeared regularly. Interestingly, non-binary people often used 'other' options when available, suggesting that standard categories don't always feel like a good fit. Some studies suggested that non-binary people were more likely than both cis and binary trans people to report attraction to all genders, and were more likely to have had non-binary partners. They were also more likely to report non-monogamous relationships, suggesting more openness to alternative relationship structures.

There were mixed results around risk. Some studies suggested that young non-binary people engage in higher-risk sexual practices than their peers, such as unprotected sex or sex under the influence of drugs and alcohol. One found that non-binary people assumed to be female at birth felt less able to negotiate use of condoms compared to trans women, hinting at specific vulnerabilities, whereas others found no significant association between non-binary identity and risk. Despite this complexity, relationship satisfaction didn't differ between the various gender identities investigated: there were no consistent differences in how satisfied participants of these studies felt with their sex lives or relationships.

With that said, these studies also identified barriers to feeling fully satisfied. Non-binary people were less likely than binary trans individuals to seek or receive gender-affirming care, such as hormones or surgery, and more likely to report being denied treatment when they did seek it. People assumed to be female at birth in particular reported higher levels of 'gender insensitivity' in sexual health settings, including transphobia and normative assumptions. Non-binary participants also reported greater gaps between how they see themselves sexually and how they would ideally like to be, as well as more sexual distress than cis people in at least one study.

Finally, the team explored a set of other sexual variables, mostly studied in single papers. Measures of sexual assertiveness showed few differences between cisgender and non-binary individuals, suggesting that the ability to express one's needs are not necessarily different. Non-binary participants did however report fewer problematic beliefs about consent: they were less likely to think consent is implied or becomes less necessary in longer relationships.

The review's impact is two-fold: as well as collating interesting insights from a broad range of studies, it also highlights that research on non-binary sexuality can be limited in scope and methodological depth, failing to fully capture people's sexual experiences. This limited the investigation's conclusions in itself, and underlines the need for proper consideration to be put into properly capturing both data about individuals' gender identities (rather than just providing an 'other' option) to allow for more fine-grained analyses.

Future research needs to centre non-binary participants from the outset, the team argue, focusing on using inclusive terminology and research designs, and incorporate validated tools that reflect people's lived realities. This would be one more step towards ensuring that the sexual health and wellbeing of non-binary people are properly understood, and that non-binary people can access wider support for their sexual wellbeing similar to those with binary genders.

Read the paper in full:
Mastrantonio, F., Kovshoff, H., & Armstrong, H. (2025). Non-Binary People's Sexuality, Sexual Health, and Relationship Satisfaction: A Review of 12 Years of Quantitative Research (2012–2024). Archives of Sexual Behavior. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-025-03224-0


SOURCE:

Monday, 17 November 2025

Μια έφηβη γράφει: Γιατί οι γονείς δεν πρέπει να διαβάζουν τα μηνύματα των παιδιών τους


Μια έφηβη γράφει: Γιατί οι γονείς δεν πρέπει να διαβάζουν τα μηνύματα των παιδιών τους

Πώς είναι να μεγαλώνεις υπό συνεχή επιτήρηση από τους γονείς σου; Μια έφηβη εξηγεί πώς η υπερπροστασία μπορεί να καταστρέψει την εμπιστοσύνη.

ΓΡΑΦΕΙ: The Mamagers Team - 31 ΟΚΤΩΒΡΙΟΥ, 2025




Τα τελευταία χρόνια, η συζήτηση γύρω από την τεχνολογία και τα παιδιά επικεντρώνεται κυρίως στους κινδύνους του διαδικτύου και στην ανάγκη οι γονείς να επιβλέπουν στενά τις online δραστηριότητές τους.

Όμως αυτή η ανησυχία των γονιών και η επίβλεψη έχει μεταμορφώσει και τη σχέση που έχουν με τα παιδιά τους. Οι έφηβοι μεγαλώνουν πλέον μέσα σε έναν ψηφιακό κόσμο, όπου οι φιλίες τους ανθίζουν σε οθόνες και οι προσωπικές τους στιγμές συχνά αποθηκεύονται σε μηνύματα, stories και εφαρμογές. Οι γονείς, ανήσυχοι αλλά ενημερωμένοι και εξοπλισμένοι με κάθε είδους εφαρμογή παρακολούθησης, νιώθουν πως οφείλουν να έχουν τον έλεγχο: Να γνωρίζουν πού βρίσκονται τα παιδιά τους, με ποιον μιλούν, τι μοιράζονται, τι κρύβουν.


Η πρόθεση είναι η αγάπη και η φροντίδα. Πίσω από αυτή την ανάγκη για έλεγχο υπάρχει ο φόβος για τους κινδύνους του διαδικτύου, για την επιρροή των συνομηλίκων, για το απρόβλεπτο της εφηβείας. Όμως, πού σταματά η φροντίδα και πού αρχίζει η παραβίαση; Τι συμβαίνει όταν η τεχνολογία, αντί να φέρνει τους ανθρώπους πιο κοντά, μετατρέπει την αγάπη σε διαρκή επιτήρηση;






Ως γονείς γνωρίζουμε τα κίνητρα που μας ωθούν να ελέγχουμε τη διαδικτυακή δραστηριότητα των παιδιών, όμως έχουμε αναρωτηθεί ποτέ πώς είναι τα πράγματα από την οπτική των εφήβων; Πώς είναι να μεγαλώνεις γνωρίζοντας ότι το βλέμμα των γονιών σου δεν σε αφήνει ποτέ;


Μια νεαρή φοιτήτρια περιγράφει στον εκπαιδευτικό ιστότοπο Let Grow με ειλικρίνεια πώς είναι να ζεις υπό αυτή τη συνεχή γονεϊκή παρακολούθηση και γιατί πιστεύει πως οι γονείς δεν πρέπει ποτέ να διαβάζουν τα μηνύματα των παιδιών τους. Μέσα από τη δική της εμπειρία, μιλά για την απώλεια της εμπιστοσύνης, την ανάγκη για ιδιωτικότητα και το πώς η υπερπροστασία μπορεί να τραυματίσει τη σχέση γονιού και παιδιού.


Γιατί δεν με εμπιστεύονταν;

"Θυμάμαι ξεκάθαρα τη στιγμή που μία από τις πιο δυνατές φιλίες μου έγινε "θύμα" της συνήθειας της μητέρας μου να διαβάζει τα μηνύματά μου. Η Μάλορι, ένα κορίτσι που ζει με χαρά και αλήθεια στη ζωή της, είχε μεθύσει μερικές φορές. Και μια μέρα, η μητέρα μου ανέφερε το γεγονός "έτσι, τυχαία", λέγοντας: "Το έμαθα από άλλους γονείς της περιοχής".

Αλήθεια; Υπήρχε ομάδα μαμάδων που αντάλλασσαν κουτσομπολιά για εφήβους; Μου φαινόταν πολύ πιο πιθανό ότι η μητέρα μου είχε ψάξει στο κινητό μου, άλλωστε μόλις την προηγούμενη μέρα είχα στείλει στη Μάλορι μήνυμα για το θέμα αυτό.

Η μητέρα μου θεωρούσε "σοφό" και "φροντιστικό" να απαιτεί τους κωδικούς μου, να κοιτάζει τα μηνύματα και τα social media και να με αναγκάζει να εγκαταστήσω εφαρμογή εντοπισμού για να βλέπει πού βρίσκομαι ανά πάσα στιγμή. Αφού πια ήξερε τα πάντα -κάθε μήνυμα, κάθε e-mail - μου είπε πως δεν έπρεπε να κάνω πια παρέα με τη Μάλορι γιατί ήταν "κακή επιρροή".

Μα… με είχαν μεγαλώσει για να είμαι ανεξάρτητη, να σκέφτομαι καθαρά, να παίρνω τις δικές μου αποφάσεις. Ήξεραν ότι δεν ήμουν παιδί "των πάρτι". Κι όμως, όταν άνοιξαν αυτό το παράθυρο στη ζωή μου, έπαψαν να με εμπιστεύονται και ό,τι οι ίδιοι μου είχαν διδάξει, το αγνόησαν".
Είναι πράγματι καλύτερα να γνωρίζουν;

"Αν διαβάσει κανείς τα άρθρα που απευθύνονται σε γονείς, θα δει συχνά τη συμβουλή ότι πρέπει να ελέγχουν τα email, τα μηνύματα και τις αναρτήσεις των παιδιών τους, "για να είναι σίγουροι". Όμως αυτά τα άρθρα δεν λένε ποτέ πώς νιώθει ένα παιδί όταν βλέπει τους γονείς του να ξεψαχνίζουν τη ζωή του, τις φιλίες του και τα μυστικά του σαν όλα αυτά να τους ανήκουν. Και κάπως έτσι, το να "ψαχουλεύουν" τις συσκευές μας θεωρείται θεμιτό, μόνο και μόνο επειδή τα μυστικά μας βρίσκονται σε τηλέφωνο αντί για ημερολόγιο.

Με τον καιρό, αυτό το "ψάξιμο" έγινε εθιστικό για τους γονείς μου, όπως τα social media για εμάς τα παιδιά. Δεν τους έφτανε να διαβάζουν τα μηνύματά μου. Ζητούσαν να τους δείχνω αποδείξεις για το πού θα πήγαινα και με ποιον, πριν καν φύγω από το σπίτι. Κάποιες φορές, μάλιστα, παρακολουθούσαν την κουκίδα μου στην εφαρμογή εντοπισμού όσο ήμουν έξω. Κι όλα αυτά, ενώ ήμουν καλή μαθήτρια, υγιής, δραστήρια και χωρίς κανένα πρόβλημα.

Εκτιμώ την αγάπη και το ενδιαφέρον τους, αλλά πιστεύω βαθιά πως οι πράξεις τους τραυμάτισαν τη σχέση μας και με έκαναν να αισθάνομαι διαρκώς υπό έλεγχο".
Είναι "φυσιολογική" αυτή η συμπεριφορά;

"Δεν μπορώ να δεχθώ ότι αυτή η νέα πραγματικότητα είναι "κανονική". Οι γονείς του 21ου αιώνα μπορεί να αγαπούν βαθιά τα παιδιά τους, αλλά όταν τα παρακολουθούν διαρκώς, διαβάζουν τα μηνύματά τους και παρεμβαίνουν στις ζωές τους, αρνούνται να τους αναγνωρίσουν το δικαίωμα στην ιδιωτικότητα και τα προσωπικά τους όρια.

Σε περιπτώσεις κακοποιητικών σχέσεων, μαθαίνουμε ότι η υπερπροστασία και ο έλεγχος δεν είναι ποτέ δικαιολογημένα, όσο "καλές" κι αν είναι οι προθέσεις. Γιατί, λοιπόν, να αναγκάζονται οι έφηβοι να αποδέχονται αυτή τη συμπεριφορά όταν προέρχεται από τους ίδιους τους γονείς τους;

Η μητέρα και ο πατέρας μου είναι υπέροχοι άνθρωποι, και καταλαβαίνω γιατί ανέπτυξαν αυτές τις τάσεις. Αλλά αν ποτέ αποκτήσω παιδιά, ελπίζω να τους δείξω την αγάπη μου με έναν διαφορετικό τρόπο: Δίνοντάς τους τον χώρο να ζήσουν, να κάνουν λάθη, να αποκτήσουν φίλους, ακόμα κι αν κάποιος απ’ αυτούς μεθύσει πού και πού".
Πώς βάζουμε "ψηφιακά" όρια στο παιδί χωρίς να παραβιάζουμε την ιδιωτικότητά του;Δημιούργησε τακτικές, ειλικρινείς συζητήσεις με το παιδί για το τι κάνει στο διαδίκτυο: Ποιες εφαρμογές χρησιμοποιεί, με ποιους μιλάει, τι το προβληματίζει. Η Unicef προτείνει να το αντιμετωπίζεις ως "έλεγχο", αλλά ως αμοιβαίο ενδιαφέρον και συμμετοχή.
Καθόρισε μαζί με το παιδί σου μια συμφωνία για το πώς και πότε θα χρησιμοποιεί το διαδίκτυο. Η έρευνα δείχνει ότι η επιβολή ορίων λειτουργεί πολύ καλύτερα όταν συνοδεύεται από κατανόηση και συνεργασία.
Χρησιμοποίησε τα εργαλεία γονικού ελέγχου (όπως φίλτρα, χρονικά όρια, παρακολούθηση) ως βοήθημα, όχι ως μέσο απόλυτου ελέγχου. Τα εργαλεία γονικού ελέγχου είναι πιο αποτελεσματικά όταν χρησιμοποιούνται από κοινού με άλλες στρατηγικές εποπτείας.
Να θυμάσαι πως τα παιδιά δεν μαθαίνουν μόνο μέσα από τους κανόνες, αλλά κυρίως μέσα από τα παραδείγματα. Όταν δείχνεις κι εσύ υγιή χρήση της τεχνολογίας, περιορίζοντας τον δικό σου χρόνο μπροστά στην οθόνη και αποφεύγοντας τη χρήση κινητού στο τραπέζι, τα ενθαρρύνεις να κάνουν το ίδιο.
Καθώς το παιδί σου μεγαλώνει και μπαίνει στην εφηβεία, άλλαξε κι εσύ τον τρόπο που το καθοδηγείς: Από τη στενή επιτήρηση πέρασε στη συνεργασία και στον αμοιβαίο σεβασμό. Η έρευνα "From Parental Control to Joint Family Oversight" δείχνει ότι αυτή η μετάβαση προς μια πιο ισότιμη σχέση ενισχύει την εμπιστοσύνη και την υπευθυνότητα και στις δύο πλευρές.



ΠΗΓΗ:

Wednesday, 12 November 2025

How much of our life is lived on autopilot?



A new paper suggests the number of automatic behaviours we engage in daily may be higher than previously estimated.

06 November 2025

By Emma Young


Models of social cognition generally portray people as being rational decision-makers, who will often weigh up options before deciding how to act, note the authors of a recent paper in Psychology and Health. However, write Amanda Rebar at the University of South Carolina, Columbia, and colleagues a lot of our everyday behaviours are repetitive. And this could leave them open to being governed by habits, rather than intention.

For their study, the team set out to explore just what proportion of our daily actions are the result of conscious choice, and which are habits — impulse-governed actions triggered by being in a particular setting, because we have learned to associate that setting with that action.

A total of 105 participants from the UK and Australia took part in the study. Every day for a week, the researchers sent six separate prompts to participants' phones. Each time, they were asked to describe what they were doing, how deliberate the decision to do it had been, and how automatic it felt to perform that action. The participants also indicated how much the action aligned with an existing plan or goal.

So, for example, if someone had reported being in the act of grabbing a bar of chocolate from a cupboard, they might have said that the decision to grab it had taken place without thinking, that the action itself felt automatic, and that it had been contrary to a plan or goal (assuming that cutting out snacks was one of their goals).

When the team analysed the responses, they first looked at the types of activities that the participants had been engaged in. They found that a fifth involved employment, education, or volunteering. A slightly smaller fraction were in the realm of domestic or childcare activities. About 10% of the time, the participants said they were eating or drinking, while 'relaxing' accounted for a similar percentage. Other activities included transportation (including commuting to or from work), exercise (5.9% of the responses), and hobbies and leisure (5.4%).

When the researchers then looked at the participants' replies to the follow-up questions, they found that two thirds of these behaviours had been initiated by habit, 88% were done in an automatic way, and three quarters had been aligned with the participant's intentions or goals. The team's analysis also revealed that one sixth of the behaviours ticked both the 'habit' boxes, being both initiated and executed out habit, but were not goal-aligned.

Overall, the finding that two-thirds of these everyday behaviours were initiated out of habit is perhaps the most notable, the team thinks, as it's significantly higher than the figure of 35–43% for this reported in some earlier work.

As for the observation that almost 9 out of 10 everyday behaviours happened on autopilot, on one hand, this might seem to be a dispiriting finding, especially as the team's analysis also showed that actions triggered by habit were roughly equally likely to feature in the participants' leisure time as during work.

However, the researchers see an upside to this. "Our results indicate that almost all behaviours can be supported by habit, which in turn suggests interventions can realistically seek to promote habit formation for any action, to maintain change over time," they write.

In other words, the fact that we do indeed seem to be creatures of habit should mean it's possible for us to form a suite of good ones, and, as a result, achieve our goals. "We recommend that techniques conducive to forming new habits and disrupting old habits be built into behaviour change interventions to maximise effectiveness," the team concludes.

Read the paper in full:
Rebar, A. L., Vincent, G., Cornu, L., & Gardner, B. (2025). How habitual is everyday life? An ecological momentary assessment study. Psychology and Health, 1–26. https://doi.org/10.1080/08870446.2025.2561149


SOURCE:

Wednesday, 5 November 2025

The foundation for courage, healing, and transformative justice


Dr Sarah Lewis, Director of Penal Reform Solutions and Grow Transform Belong CIC, on growing psychological safety.

29 October 2025

Our justice system is shaped by the cultural habits that are socially constructed within it. These everyday messages guide people to operate in a certain way – contributing to harm and disengagement, or to safety, purpose and trust.

Recent reports in England and Wales have highlighted a 13 per cent increase in assaults between people in prison and a 24 per cent rise in assaults against staff (HMPPS, 2024a). We're seeing more self-inflicted deaths and self-harm, particularly in the female population, where self-harm increased by 37 per cent (HMPPS, 2023). The leaving rate for a 'shop floor' officer is 12.5 per cent (HMPPS, 2024b). Culturally, such harms communicate a sense of unease and lack of safety for those living, visiting, and working in prisons.

As staff focus on self-preservation and leaders become consumed with fire-fighting, trust erodes, making it difficult to create a positive working environment. In extreme cases, moral blindness can take hold. Bauman and Donkskis (2015) define this as a loss of sensitivity to human suffering, allowing inhumane conditions to persist unchecked.

So, the need for psychological safety is critical. It may be the very mechanism that allows us to move forward and step out of toxic cultures, into a trusting culture, where all can flourish. It is the starting place for honesty, reconciliation and healing, and, if achieved on a large scale, could allow us the space to redefine the future of correctional work as we know it. Psychological safety is the antidote to the current problem.

Over 20 years of working, researching and learning the art of correctional work, I have come to appreciate the importance of psychological safety in several ways: forming a team, repairing ruptures, delivering and designing interventions, building professional relationships, coaching leaders and delivering training, to name a few.

Here, I pull together theory, reflections and practice to illuminate the power of psychological safety, which can create cultures of courage, healing and transformative justice. All of these require discomfort, thrusting people into uncomfortable psychological spaces that are unknown. But it is in these spaces where innovation, change and flourishing can emerge.

This article explores the role of psychological safety as a catalyst for cultural change, drawing upon real-world examples to demonstrate its impact. It will outline the relevant elements of psychological safety, breaking down the conditions required to create environments where individuals feel valued, heard, and empowered to contribute.

This is followed by a practical guide to building psychological safety in correctional settings, highlighting strategies such as inclusive leadership, open communication, and co-production. Finally, the article situates psychological safety within the broader movement for penal reform, positioning it as a fundamental pillar of Justice 2.0, a global campaign that strives to upgrade the justice system into a humane, inclusive, and growth-oriented system that we can be proud of (see Lewis, in press, for details).
Psychological safety

Psychological safety, as defined by Edmondson (1999), is the belief that one will not face humiliation or punishment for speaking up, making mistakes, or expressing new ideas. McCauley (2022) expands on Edmondson's work, suggesting that psychological safety is not merely about comfort; it is about the ability to take interpersonal risks, to engage in open dialogue, and to trust that the system will not retaliate.

For this to be possible, prison culture needs to communicate to individuals that they are, in fact, psychologically safe, providing consistent sensory, cognitive and physical signals. Without this, the conditions by which psychological safety can flourish are stunted and the chances of meaningful change diminished. As I've written before (with Emma Hands, 2022, p.2), creating rehabilitative cultures provides significant benefits to both staff and people in prison.

Cultural interventions can transform prison identities, from criminogenic environments to safe, relational-focused spaces, reimagining organisational and individual identity. There is an increased need to design growth-centred environments to ignite transformative change and ultimately reduce recidivism.

But psychological safety is incredibly difficult to achieve when an organisational culture is toxic. People hide, put up a mask, and conceal their true vulnerabilities and struggles. If mistakes are made, people are more likely to stay quiet. If people are discriminated against or bullied, they might even struggle in silence, leaving their work rather than voicing their feelings and experiences. This means we no longer truly know each other, the true intentions of each other, or the environment more broadly. This only exacerbates shame, disconnection and harm.

To address this, Clark (2020) highlights four stages to psychological safety, which can help create a roadmap to arriving in a psychological space. Firstly, inclusion safety focuses on ensuring all individuals are valued and respected. Secondly, learner safety focuses on providing a safe environment for people to learn new things without fear of judgment. Contributor safety then encourages dialogue, sharing ideas and promoting active, fun and energising conversations. Finally, challenger safety provides a space to question systems and advocate for reform.

The aim of these processes is to create enough relational connection to put down the mask, step out of the current culture and engage in meaningful conversations, which leads to transformative change. To look at that in greater depth, we need to consider my dynamic model of professional relationships (see Figure 1).
The dynamic model of professional relationships

Feeling safe and understood is important within correctional work. The dynamic model of professional relationships (Lewis, 2016) explores the psychological proximity between people who operate in the justice space and characterises different relational spaces, where practitioners and service users navigate.

It illustrates that professional relationships exist along a continuum, which is based on the degree to which two people connect to each other. If we can achieve a positive sense of relatedness, sharing our goals, those tasks needed to achieve our goals and the needs of one another, we can enter the Green Zone, where change becomes a reality for both practitioners and service users.

This Zone is where psychological safety can flourish under conducive conditions of trust, respect and empathy. If we can consistently achieve this across the majority of relationships within the organisation, new cultures can emerge, as people within the system can achieve the psychological safety they need to learn, grow and ultimately flourish. This can happen in small spaces (e.g. therapy sessions), communal spaces (e.g. libraries or faith rooms), subcultures (e.g. across a cohort of staff or people in prison) or culturally, across the whole prison community.
Fig. 1: The dynamic model of professional relationships



The Green Zone is a space where trust, respect, and professional engagement flourish, fostering an environment conducive to rehabilitation. The practitioner presents as open, compassionate, curious and is available in this space. It symbolically demonstrates to the service user that it is safe to engage with the practitioner and to step into the Green Zone, too. In light of past experiences with authority, trauma and adversities, the step into the green zone is an act of courage in its own right. Because, invariably, people in prison have been let down, and they carry this with them until proven otherwise.

The Red Zone is where relationships either become too distant (disengagement, hostility) or too close (manipulation, favouritism, ethical compromise), leading to breakdowns in trust and increased risk of harm. Either the service user or practitioner steps into this space when they feel psychologically unsafe, wary or mistrustful. The physical environment can also convey messages that alter the motivation someone may have to enter into the Green Zone. If a place is dirty, broken or inhumane, this symbolically tells an individual they are not deserving of safety.

In the Green Zone, people (staff, leaders and service users) feel supported, staff maintain professional authority while being approachable, and interactions are guided by mutual understanding and shared goals. This state is essential for creating an environment where individuals can engage in rehabilitative efforts without fear of judgment or punitive consequences (Lewis, 2022)​.

In the Green Zone, people in prison and on probation are more likely to disclose challenges such as mental health struggles, conflict, or personal goals, because they feel heard and supported. Therefore, the knowledge is authentic and clear, and practitioners and service users see each other as humans and worthy of kindness.

Staff can communicate with integrity and challenge poor practice without fear of backlash, reducing corruption risks and enhancing professional standards (Lewis & Hands, 2022)​. And leaders can set the tone, ensuring that open communication is valued and embedded in daily practice (Clark, 2020).

Without clear boundaries, relationships in correctional settings can become dysfunctional, either through excessive detachment (leading to punitive cultures) or over-familiarity (leading to ethical compromise). Reflective practice is therefore essential, allowing staff to examine their own biases, responses, and relational patterns to ensure they remain within the Green Zone (Lewis, 2016)​.

Professional boundaries must be actively maintained, with staff trained in ethical decision-making, emotional awareness and management, pro-social modelling and trauma-informed practice, to navigate complex relational dynamics, without disengaging or over-identifying with people in prison (Mann & Fitzalan-Howard, 2018). Psychological safety, therefore, brings accountability, ensuring that people in prison and staff understand the expectations of their roles and interactions.
The Growth Project

Correctional systems that prioritise psychological safety see measurable improvements in behaviour, engagement, and rehabilitation outcomes. By shifting correctional cultures towards psychological safety, prisons move away from punitive, fear-driven models and towards environments where growth, trust, and transformation can thrive.

To achieve honest, authentic knowledge to support the reconciliation process, practitioners and leaders need to feel safe enough to step into the Green Zone, to achieve connection and the collective impact that is needed for systemic change. The Growth Project provides a practical example of how these stages can be achieved, presenting tips for practitioners to apply to their work.

Three Growth Projects have taken place so far in England, in a training prison, a local remand prison and a women's prison. It is a cultural change programme, which relies on psychological safety. It focuses on co-defining cultural problems, co-creating the solutions and co-owning these solutions, to drive positive change.

This project has demonstrated that psychological safety is integral to fostering rehabilitative cultures (Lewis & Hands, 2022)​, suggesting that environments that prioritise relational connections and trust see reductions in violence, self-harm, and conflict, while simultaneously improving engagement and wellbeing​. The Principles of Growth, which were created following extensive research in three 'exceptional' Norwegian prisons, are used consistently in all activities designed and implemented as part of the project.

They focus on a holistic approach to human development, removing stigma and criminogenic language, which can create greater division that does not serve us or the end goal of rehabilitation. These principles are not for service users alone, but for everyone, promoting the notion of co-evolution, equality and growth.
Fig 2: Principles of Growth

Staff are encouraged to challenge norms and question entrenched practices: to reflect, to feel, and, in essence, wake up from the blindness that has transpired. This is achieved through relationship-focused work, individual coaching, and campaigns, which consistently convey the message that trust is there, that people can make sense of their own worlds in a trauma-informed and shame-sensitive way, and that unconditional love is available.

'Love' is used intentionally here – the unconditional positive regard, introduced by Carl Rogers. It is closely aligned to agape love, which is a compassionate, unwavering commitment to human dignity and transformation, even in the face of adversity. Unlike romantic (eros) or familial (storge) love, agape is not based on personal benefit or emotional attachment. Instead, it is a love rooted in deep care, compassion, and a commitment to the well-being of others, regardless of circumstances.

The Growth Project, then, promises a lot, and must start small to follow through on that. Small groups are created, with a universal shared goal or vision. Tasks and needs are assessed, co-defined and created, locking in the key elements of a correctional relationship, but on an organisational level. Then groups converge, join up, collaborate and unite, through events and activities (e.g. like wellbeing days, days of celebration or campaigns). The pace needs to be set correctly, and changes and stages to the process need to take place when an organisation is ready, rather than being pushed. Culture work needs to be done with people, not to people.
Does it work?

These projects have not been without their challenges. The first project had its funding cut six months early as new leadership took over the prison, causing us to leave the prison unfinished and unable to embed the cultural gains that had emerged. Outcomes took up to two years to emerge. But in terms of averages across the three sites, cultural investment has contributed to:70 per cent reduction in violence between residents, and 80 per cent reduction in assaults on staff;
60 per cent reduction in use of force.
Fewer staff sick days: from the first project, there were 1,643 fewer sick days (2016-2019, Lewis & Hands, 2022) in operational staff; sickness data was hard to use in the other sites due to COVID-19.
Improved staff retention, through enhanced workplace morale, with recent data showing a prison moving up 40 places on the staff retention league table, after 18 months of engaging with the Growth Project.
Residents are more actively engaged in rehabilitative and educational programmes; for example, one Governing Governor stated: 'The Growth Project's ability to engage staff and prisoners and their families, provide a voice for all, and empower and generate real autonomy for the whole community, has been critical to the progression of the prison.'
A more hopeful and optimistic prison community as a whole; for example, one member of staff stated: 'It has given an insight into how positivity can spread and people can feel valued in their everyday role, which in turn has an overwhelming impact on the ethos of the prison environment and all those who live and work within it.'

This was echoed by those in prison, with one resident stating: 'SL and her Growth Project helped me to see hope and positivity within the system – SL helped me to realise through effective and consistent action we can change even the most desolate and lonely places in the world. Through the Growth Project, there's hope for a decaying UK prison system.A three-point increase in HMIP inspection scores, which assess how healthy a prison is.
Growth leaders

Across all Growth Project sites, leaders reported as more cohesive, hopeful and confident. The Growth Team (staff and people in prison) co-produced strategies for cultural change, embedding an ethos of reflective learning and resilience (Lewis, 2022)​. Leaders are provided with coaching to shift their thinking towards seeing errors as an opportunity for growth. They are given a regular psychological space that is independent of the system they work in.

This Growth work aims to create growth-centred leaders who prioritise vulnerability, curiosity, and deep listening (Lewis, 2024)​. When leaders openly share challenges and invite collaboration, the broader culture shifts towards trust and collective problem-solving. The feedback from growth leadership supervision highlighted learning on a personal level as well as a professional level.

For example, one leader said, 'As senior leaders, we are always conscious of supporting and developing our staff, but I found the growth sessions enabled me to think and reflect on my own well-being, my own practices and my own challenges.' Another said, 'It is rare that we get to discuss what we are finding difficult to manage or challenge or change – this gave me the opportunity in an open and safe space to consider these.'

This work not only operated as a grassroots cultural project but also addressed growth at the top, focusing on providing a range of people with the resources to offer solutions, co-create plans, and co-own the results. One prison leader reflected on the journey, stating, 'The project's ability to engage staff and prisoners and their families, provide a voice for all, and empower and generate real autonomy for the whole community, has been critical to the progression of the prison.'
What does this mean for your place of work?

Based on my experience with the Growth Project, here are some key takeaways to support practitioners irrespective of their role: my 'Five steps to psychological safety'.Be intentional

This focuses on demonstrating actively and consistently your commitment to psychological safety. State the space is safe and free from judgment (and make sure it is).
State your belief and alliance to those who are taking part in the activity (and speak honestly about any limitations of this).
Outline the bigger vision of the work and the impact it might have if people chose to open up
Design 'play' into interactions, encouraging laughter, stories, active exercises and opportunities for freedom to relax the atmosphere.
Encourage challenges, fears, and concerns to be voiced and state this as an opportunity to learn.Be curious

This communicates your willingness to learn and see others in their entirety. Use formal and informal spaces to be curious, attending to the here and now. This might be in group meetings, but also informally, whilst making a cup of coffee/tea.
Show genuine interest and care, through actions and words (e.g. make coffees/teas, provide homemade cakes, etc). The act of service communicates your motivation to connect.
Use appropriate self-disclosure and storytelling to encourage curiosity in others and normalise vulnerability, stating this as a measure of courage, rather than a weakness.Be open and humble

This communicates the intention of the practitioner. They are not self-serving, but service-serving and want to benefit something that is bigger than themselves. Focus attention on the value of others' knowledge, rather than your own
Encourage diverse perspectives
Make sense with people, rather than assuming the position of expertBe boundaried



Clarity is kind, and being self-aware is vital, so that practitioners can show up.

Define expectations at the start to encourage clarity and safety
Address behaviours that undermine psychological safety in a kind, but firm way
Operate in the Green Zone to achieve honest conversations that magnify the potential of change

Be growth-oriented



Gratitude and seeing strengths in those around you can expand imaginations and light up new possibilities in how someone is seen and viewed.

Recognise small successes and celebrate to reinforce a positive culture
Model a growth mindset, not taking feedback personally and creating opportunities for feedback, so responses can be explored
Reflect regularly in fun, informal and formal ways
Use motivational interviewing to reflect, affirm and provide feedback that inspires


Justice 2.0: Extending Courage

The Growth Project uses these steps and strategies to construct a positive climate. This can be infectious and can challenge the punitive foundations of correctional institutions, advocating instead for cultures that prioritise trust, belonging, and relational connection (Lewis & Hands, 2022)​. Staff have been seen to step up, challenge and push reform like never before. Here lies a key benefit of psychological safety: courage.

Justice 2.0 is a global campaign that aligns with the Growth philosophy by positioning psychological safety as a foundation for systemic change. Justice 2.0 promotes courage, providing champions of change with the resources, training and information they need to talk, share and act in ways that are compassionate and trusting.

Justice 2.0 prioritises liberation, connection and co-creation (see Lewis, 2025). It calls for an upgrade to Justice, acknowledging the moral injury a toxic culture has achieved. Justice 2.0 centres on democratising knowledge, involving the public, people impacted by the system and those living in it, to reimagine Justice, embracing diversity and difference. Justice 2.0 also focuses on mobilising communities to celebrate the good, to create a counter-narrative that will push against the current punitive tide within mainstream news.

Finally, Justice 2.0 is a campaign that is co-defined, co-created and co-owned, similar to other movements such as #MeToo and #BlackLivesMatter. It provides spaces to discuss critical issues and arrive at meaningful solutions, which are communicated openly and respectfully.

This campaign was ignited following the lessons from the Growth Projects, which highlighted the reality that prison reform might not only be situated in prison, but also in the community. This campaign is therefore educational, sharing stories and highlighting the issues with the current populist view, which focuses on punishing harder and longer, without fully appreciating the collateral damage of this approach.

In practical terms, people who want to reform culture are provided with the resources they might need to; spark new conversations, talk to their communities, fundraise or participate in the consistent online debates. These are not just discussions on the upgrades we need but deal with the entrenched issues that plague our cultural system (e.g. toxic masculinity, discrimination, and othering).

One method for this is a 'hackathon' – an intensive, time-bound event where individuals or teams collaborate to solve problems, innovate, and create solutions, typically in technology, business, or social impact fields. Originally rooted in software development, hackathons have expanded to include social justice, policy-making, education, and organisational change.

People can give as much as they can to this movement, celebrating each other's achievements through the hashtag #justice2point0, or calling out harmful practices through the hashtag #justice1point0. It is hoped that action will become normalised within this movement, as people join and understand the vision; to ignite a global movement of compassion, courage and transformation. To achieve this, psychological safety is the essence of this campaign.
Conclusion

Psychological safety is a prerequisite for cultural change. Within correctional settings, where harm and fear have historically dominated, creating an environment of trust and relational integrity is not just an ideal but a necessity. By embedding psychological safety within leadership, practice, and organisational ethos, we can cultivate cultures of courage, healing, and transformative justice. The Growth Project has demonstrated that such change is not only possible but essential in reimagining correctional spaces as environments of hope, dignity, and humanity​.

Justice 2.0 represents a fundamental shift in how correctional environments operate, moving beyond punitive frameworks towards growth-oriented, rehabilitative cultures. By embedding psychological safety into the foundation of prison culture, Justice 2.0 offers a pathway to breaking cycles of harm and fostering environments where both staff and prisoners can thrive. Rather than relying on control-based strategies that instil fear and disengagement, this approach encourages trust, connection, co-production, open dialogue, and meaningful rehabilitation.



Justice 2.0 is not just about reforming prisons; it is about redefining justice itself, in a way that is humane, inclusive, and fundamentally designed to enable healing and growth rather than perpetuate harm. By embracing this vision, we move closer to a system where psychological safety is the norm, ensuring that individuals leave prison better equipped to reintegrate into society, reducing reoffending, and ultimately, creating safer communities for all.


References



Bauman, Z. & Donkskis, L. (2015). Moral blindness: The loss of sensitivity in liquid modernity. Polity Press.

Byeon, Y.V., Lau, A.S., Lind, T., Hamilton, A. B., & Brookman-Frazee, L. (2022). Organizational factors associated with community therapists' self-efficacy in EBP delivery. Implementation Research and Practice, 3, 1–13.

Clark, T.R. (2020). The 4 stages of psychological safety: Defining the path to inclusion and innovation. Berrett-Koehler Publishers.

Edmondson, A.C. (1999). Psychological safety and learning behavior in work teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), 350–383.

HMPPS (2024a). Safety in custody statistics.



HMPPS (2024b). Workforce Quarterly.



HMPPS (2023). Safety in Custody Statistics- Deaths in Custody



Inniss-Thompson, M.N., Leath, S. & Harris, J.N. (2024). Seeing Black girls in their glory: Cultivating spaces that facilitate Black girls' psychological safety. Journal of Black Psychology, 50(3), 259–292. =5}.

Lewis, S. (2016). Therapeutic correctional relationships: Theory, research and practice. Routledge.

Lewis, S. & Hands, E. (2022). Growth: An emerging new philosophy to transform correctional culture, Advancing Corrections Journal, 14(7)

Lewis, S. (2025). Justice 2.0: The Strategy. Grow Transform Belong CIC. Publication can be accessed at www.growtransformbelong.com.

Mann, R.E. & Fitzalan-Howard, F. (2018). The role of dynamic risk factors in risk assessment and treatment planning. Advances in Psychology Research, 132, 87–106.

McCauley, C.D. (2022). The evolution of psychological safety in leadership development. Leadership & Organization Development Journal, 43(1), 45–60.

Oppen, M. (2024). Exploring innovation in the public sector: Study of direct and indirect effects of psychological safety, learning behaviour, transformational leadership and learning attitudes on innovation climate. Innovation Journal, 29(3), 2–17​.

Sumanth, J.J., Hannah, S.T., Herbst, KC. & Thompson, R.L. (2024). Generating the moral agency to report peers' counterproductive work behavior in normal and extreme contexts: The generative roles of ethical leadership, moral potency, and psychological safety. Journal of Business Ethics, 195(3), 653–680.


SOURCE: