Monday, 16 December 2024

O ρόλος του νονού: Σημασία δεν έχουν τα δώρα, αλλά η επικοινωνία


THE MAMAGERS TEAM02 ΜΑΪΟΥ, 2023

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Είναι ίσως από τα πρώτα πράγματα που σκέφτεσαι όταν γεννάς. Συχνά το έχεις ήδη κουβεντιάσει (με τους υποψηφίους) όταν το μωρό είναι ακόμη μέσα στην κοιλιά. Για να έχεις το κεφάλι σου ήσυχο.


Ο ρόλος του νονού δεν είναι και ο ευκολότερος στον κόσμο. Ή μάλλον δεν είναι ο ίδιος για όλους τους ανθρώπους.

Άλλοι το έχουν κάνει κάτι σαν επάγγελμα και άλλοι έχουν αποφασίσει να δεσμευθούν για μία μόνο φορά προκειμένου να είναι όσο συνεπείς θα ήθελαν.

Το χειρότερο είναι όταν κάποιος με τον οποίο δεν έχεις και τις καλύτερες σχέσεις σού προτείνει να βαφτίσει το παιδί σου ή να «βάλεις» λάδι εσύ στο δικό του, χωρίς όμως να είναι αμοιβαίο το στοιχείο της εκτίμησης.

ιλάμε για σχέση ζωής, όχι για μια τελετουργία που γίνεται για μία φορά μέσα στην εκκλησία, με λίγους ή περισσότερους μάρτυρες και τελειώνει η ιστορία. Όχι, όχι. Η ιστορία έχει μόλις αρχίσει.


Ο άνθρωπος ή οι άνθρωποι που αναλαμβάνουν να γίνουν νονοί ενός παιδιού θεωρούνται πνευματικοί γονείς του από τη στιγμή που γεννιέται.

Πρόκειται για σχέση στοργής, που απαιτεί δουλειά απ’ όλες τις πλευρές.

Το πρόβλημα είναι ότι η συγκεκριμένη ιστορία δεν έχει πάντα αίσιο τέλος.
Ας δούμε πρώτα την πλευρά των γονιών.

Τι ζητούν οι γονείς από τον νονό. Καταρχάς να έχει επαφή με το παιδί. Να μην το δει για πρώτη και τελευταία φορά στο μυστήριο. Να παρέχει τα απαραίτητα την ημέρα της βάφτισης. Να θυμάται πότε γιορτάζει και πότε έχει γενέθλια. Να έχει ουσιαστική επικοινωνία μαζί του, σε όλα τα στάδια της ηλικίας του. Να μη θεωρεί ότι με ένα δώρο τα Χριστούγεννα και μια λαμπάδα κι ένα σοκολατένιο αυγό ή ένα ζευγάρι παπούτσια το Πάσχα έχει ολοκληρώσει τις υποχρεώσεις του.
Νονοί για κλάματα

Είναι λίγες οι φορές – δυστυχώς – που ο ρόλος του νονού ή της νονάς γίνεται όπως θα έπρεπε, έτσι ώστε και το παιδί να μπορεί να βασιστεί και σε κάποιον τρίτο, σε κάποιον που θεωρεί δικό του άνθρωπο, όταν η μαμά ή ο μπαμπάς δεν μπορούν να το καταλάβουν. Έχουμε δει να χαλούν κουμπαριές επειδή τσακώθηκαν οι ενήλικες. Να ξηλώνονται φωτογραφικά άλμπουμ και να γίνεται φωτομοντάζ για να πιστεύει το παιδάκι ότι ο νονός του είναι κάποιος άλλος τελικά. Να έχει προγραμματιστεί να γίνει βάφτιση σε νησί και να τσακώνεται η μητέρα με τη μέλλουσα νονά και να βρίσκεται τελικά στην κολυμπήθρα η επιλογή της τελευταίας στιγμής.

Έχουμε ακούσει για νονούς που δεν ξανασυνάντησαν τα βαφτιστήρια τους και τους γονείς τους.
Ποιους εξαιρούμε;

Τους νονούς – θείους, μαζί και τις νονές – θείες. Όσους βλέπουν ακόμη τα βαφτιστήρια τους κι ας έχουν ασπρίσει τα μαλλιά και των δύο. Όσους δεν αγοράζουν σταυρό επειδή προσβλέπουν σε μια οικονομική συμφωνία. Τις νονές που πιστεύουν στις καλές νεράιδες του παραμυθιού, όπως τις τρεις στρουμπουλές κυρίες στην «Ωραία κοιμωμένη» και τώρα πιστεύουν στην καλή «ντεϊντέι» και τα βαφτιστήρια τους. Είναι η νονά τους.
Πάντα άξιος! Δύσκολη η ανταπόκριση

Ακόμα κι ένας νονός μπορεί να έχει τα παράπονά του. Να έχει «μετανιώσει» για την επιλογή του ή να μην ήταν έτοιμος για μια τέτοια ευθύνη. Να μην έχει παιδιά, αλλά ούτε και τη διάθεση να μάθει πώς είναι να φροντίζεις και να νοιάζεσαι για ένα μικρό ή μεγάλο παιδί. Να μη θέλει να ξοδεύει μια περιουσία για τα πανάκριβα ρούχα που μπορεί ν’απαιτεί, με διακριτικό τρόπο, η μαμά για το τέκνο της. Ή ν’αγοράσει το – εκτός προϋπολογισμού – ηλεκτρονικό παιχνίδι που ζητάει επίμονα ο 12χρονος Φίλιππος επειδή βαρέθηκε να παίζει με την επαγγελματική κιθάρα που του έκανε δώρο ο νονός τα Χριστούγεννα.

Σίγουρα είναι μεγάλο το βάρος να ξέρεις ότι στην περίπτωση που πάθει κάτι ο γονιός, αναλαμβάνεις εσύ ως πνευματικός πατέρας. Δεν θα έπρεπε να υπάρχουν μόνο καθήκοντα και ευθύνες στον ρόλο του νονού. Είναι βασικό να είναι ένας άνθρωπος που αγαπάει τα παιδιά, γι’ αυτό και δεν κάνει τίποτα καταναγκαστικά. Εκείνος που απλώς πάντρεψε το ζευγάρι και νιώθει την υποχρέωση να βαφτίσει και το πρώτο τους παιδί μπορεί να μην είναι τελικά και ο καταλληλότερος.
Ο «σωστός» νονός θα πρέπει να είναι στο πλάι του παιδιού όσο μεγαλώνει και σε κάθε σημαντική στιγμή γι’ αυτό.

Να είναι ο καλύτερος και πιο έμπιστος φίλος του. Ο ανάδοχος θα πρέπει να ξέρει τι πρέπει να κάνει χωρίς να του το έχει υποδείξει κανείς. Οι κοινωνικοπολιτικοί λόγοι δεν αφορούν κανένα. Ούτε οι οικονομικές συναλλαγές. Σημασία δεν έχουν τα δώρα, αλλά η επικοινωνία. Τα ρούχα δεν ενδιαφέρουν κανένα παιδί και ένα παιχνίδι είναι σίγουρα προτιμότερο. Καλύτερα ακόμη, μια βόλτα ή μια εκδρομή μαζί, πολύ απλά γιατί θα χαροποιήσει στ’ αλήθεια τον άμεσα ενδιαφερόμενο.

Πάντα άξιοι; Όχι απαραίτητα. Δικαιολογίες δεν υπάρχουν. Τουλάχιστον όχι για τα παιδιά, που δεν θέλουν να ακούν λόγια του αέρα. Νονός δεν γίνεσαι με το ζόρι. Αν πεις το «ναι», δεν υπάρχει επιστροφή.



Πείτε καλύτερα «απεταξάμην». Πριν από την εκκλησία.

Γράφει η Σάντυ Τσαντάκη


ΠΗΓΗ:

Friday, 13 December 2024

Homeworking – what have we learned?


Gail Kinman and Christine Grant.

22 November 2024


Before the pandemic, remote work was a privilege enjoyed by only a small fraction of workers. This shifted dramatically in early 2020, when public health measures required everyone who could work from home to do so. The number of remote workers in the UK surged to almost 10 million, representing 44 per cent of the workforce (ONS 2020).

We watched this situation unfold with interest due to our long-standing research involvement in homeworking, and also because we (along with our colleagues, family and friends) were experiencing it firsthand. For many years, we have advocated for the benefits of remote working arrangements, providing evidence-based guidance to support its effective implementation. The rapid and widespread shift to home-based working presented a unique opportunity for us and others to observe and analyse this transition in real time, revealing how individuals and organisations adapted, and the challenges and successes they encountered.
Advantages and challenges

The rapid shift to remote working was intended to curb the spread of illness, but it also revealed advantages for employees and organisations. Many employees welcomed the flexibility and comfort of working from home and the opportunity to create a personalised work environment. Working remotely can offer greater flexibility, allowing employees to achieve a better work-life balance and eliminate the need to commute, saving time, money and energy. Productivity improved for many during this time, due to fewer distractions and more flexible schedules.

Additionally, the move to remote work accelerated digital transformation, focusing more on performance than physical presence. The concept of online 'presence' has evolved beyond whether one's video camera is on or off, now including real-time or asynchronous communication, contributing through direct interaction or chat features, or simply viewing content without engaging.

The move to home-based working also presented challenges for some. Organisations with existing remote working arrangements quickly adapted to the changes, with experienced home-workers being better able to manage the transition (Gifford, 2022). Other employees lacked the necessary tools to work remotely and had unsuitable workspaces. Few had the luxury of home offices and people often worked from their kitchen tables, sofas, bedrooms and even their cars. Research conducted early in the pandemic (Parry, 2021) found that some participants initially struggled with home-based working, with merging work and home demands leading to role stress, work-life conflict and exhaustion. Unsurprisingly, other studies revealed that parents faced daily challenges juggling childcare, virtual schooling and work deadlines, significantly impacting their wellbeing (Payne, 2020; Williams et al., 2020).

Organisations had to quickly adapt to virtual technology, as it was essential to maintain communication. Teams accustomed to in-person interactions often faced difficulties with virtual collaboration, leading to feelings of isolation, and decreased visibility to managers. Our work with child-protection social workers during this challenging time revealed their difficulties in recognising when team members were struggling during online meetings, and then providing the emotional support needed to prevent burnout (Kinman, 2021).

As social media users, we observed people sharing their experiences and concerns about homeworking immediately after lockdown began. Using netnography (Kozinets, 2015), a method for exploring naturally occurring online discussions, we explored diverse experiences of adapting to homeworking (Travers et al., 2020), focusing on the challenges people faced and the strategies they employed to balance work and domestic life. Over several months, participants shared their experiences through blogs, videos, photos, memes and other media.

Our findings revealed that this time was marked by contradictions and transitions, with new demands frequently increasing stress and negative emotions, as well as cognitive symptoms such as 'brain fog'. However, many discovered new ways to live and work, finding value in a slower pace and adopting innovative stress-reduction strategies. One participant noted, 'It is very reminiscent of the 1970s when I was growing up. Cooking meals from scratch, baking, hobbies and all of the things I usually don't have time for. My defences against anxiety are going quite well' (p.12).
Survive or thrive

Over time, remote work became normalised. People and organisations found ways to thrive, or at least survive, in this new environment. They quickly embraced new technologies and innovative methods to maintain team cohesion and collaboration. The British Psychological Society played a key role in this transition. As part of the BPS Working Differently Group, we published a guide offering psychologically informed strategies to establish healthy homeworking conditions (Kinman et al., 2022). The group also created a guide to help professionals regularly exposed to distressing material, such as police officers and social workers, prevent vicarious trauma while working from home (Tehrani et al., 2020).

For some remote workers, prolonged engagement with video conferencing platforms resulted in mental and physical exhaustion, communication barriers and misunderstandings. Researchers played a crucial role in identifying the underlying causes of these issues and providing strategies to alleviate what became known as 'Zoom fatigue' (Bailenson, 2021; Ramachandran, 2021). Their guidance included practical recommendations for managing screen time, optimising virtual meeting practices and improving overall digital well-being. Our pre-pandemic research identified key competencies required for effective remote working (Grant & Clarke, 2020; Tramontano et al., 2021) and provided valuable guidance on enhancing digital self-efficacy and resilience for individuals and organisations.

So, five years on what have we learned from what has been termed the 'Great Homeworking Experiment'? Since the pandemic began, research on the implications of remote work for wellbeing and productivity has surged, with around 18,000 articles indexed in Google Scholar from 2020 to date. However, drawing firm conclusions about the effectiveness of homeworking during a global crisis remains challenging. The mental health and well-being of the UK population also declined during the pandemic (ONS, 2020), making it difficult to isolate the effects of homeworking from those of broader changes, uncertainty, and isolation.

The implications of remote working continue to be widely debated, but there is no compelling evidence that productivity and wellbeing declined among homeworkers during the pandemic (Felstead, 2022). In some circumstances, home-based working can provide significant benefits for wellbeing, productivity and job satisfaction. Organisations with effective homeworking policies may experience increased employee loyalty and a more stable workforce (Choi, 2019). Home-based work can also help reduce the carbon footprint by reducing daily commutes and office energy use, supporting efforts to reduce climate change. Remote work can also enhance employment opportunities for people living in remote areas and caregivers (Schur et al., 2020; Grant et al. 2022). In particular, many disabled and neurodivergent workers have benefited from the widespread move to remote work during lockdown (Grant et al., 2022), levelling the playing field for these workers, reducing the stigma associated with home-based work and confirming its acceptability for employees more generally.

However, the effectiveness of remote working hinges on various factors, such as employee demographics, living arrangements and caregiving responsibilities, as well as job type, workload and its intensity and the organisational culture. Support from managers and colleagues, social connectedness outside of work and the effective management of work-home boundaries are also important (Chan & Kinman, 2024). Autonomy over working patterns is crucial for successful remote work, as it allows employees to tailor their work environment to their needs. In contrast, rigid policies or limited options can lead to frustration, decreased engagement and burnout (Kossek, 2016).
A 'woke trend'?

Homeworking presents other challenges that need addressing. While the flexibility associated with some types of remote work can improve wellbeing and work-life balance, it can result in enabled intensification (Kelliher & Anderson, 2010). This occurs when the constant connectivity offered by digital tools causes people to work longer and harder than in a traditional office environment, undermining work-life balance and increasing the risk of burnout. Additionally, higher rates of sickness presenteeism have been found among remote workers, attributed to a range of occupational, organisational and individual level factors (CIPD, 2023; Kinman & Grant, 2022). The less visible nature of their work can also make them more likely to push through illness, as symptoms and difficulties are not as apparent to managers and colleagues.

Although many people returned to office-based work after lockdown restrictions eased, remote working remains popular. The ONS (2022) found that employees consider the main advantages of home-based working include improved work-life balance, fewer distractions, faster task completion and better wellbeing, whereas challenges include difficulties collaborating with others and concerns about job opportunities. Employers' attitudes towards remote working evolved from initial scepticism to greater acceptance as the pandemic progressed. Many leaders now recognise the benefits of remote work, such as increased flexibility and cost savings, and have integrated it into their long-term business strategies.

Nonetheless, the continuation of remote working has sparked intense public debate, with opinions being highly polarised and politically charged. Our preliminary analysis of post-pandemic news media shows reveals considerable variability in opinions. Some business leaders and commentators argue that remote workers are less diligent and have even labelled it as a 'woke trend', suggesting that physical presence will inevitably boost collaboration, creativity and productivity. Additionally, homeworking has been criticised as an 'economic disaster' for cities, commercial office premises, the construction industry and the service economy, potentially hindering post-pandemic recovery. A recent survey of over 1,300 global leaders found that most support a return to pre-Covid work patterns, with nearly two-thirds expecting a return to the office five days a week by 2026 (KPMG, 2023). Furthermore, 87 per cent of respondents believe that future financial rewards and promotions will be tied to office presence.

These views may overshadow the established benefits of remote working for both organisations and individuals. To encourage workers back to the office, some employers offer incentives like free lunches, while others resort to extreme measures, such as threats of termination. These actions can be counter-productive, as organisations that mandate a wholesale return to office-based work have seen lower engagement, reduced trust, higher turnover and recruitment difficulties. Additionally, an estimated four million employees have changed careers due to the lack of flexible working options (CIPD, 2023).

The decisions organisations make about working arrangements will have far-reaching consequences. Allowing employees some autonomy over the location and timing of work seems essential for retaining and attracting staff, addressing skills shortages and fostering inclusive workplaces. The future of work is likely to feature flexible, hybrid models that combine the benefits of remote work with the advantages of in-person collaboration. A recent longitudinal study found that hybrid workers were as productive as full-time on-site workers, according to both subjective measures and performance reviews conducted over two years. Hybrid workers also reported better work-life balance, higher job and life satisfaction and had lower attrition rates compared to their counterparts working on site on a full-time basis (Bloom et al., 2024).

In conclusion, the 'Great Homeworking Experiment' has demonstrated that remote work can be effective under certain conditions. However, maintaining productivity, employee well-being and organisational cohesion requires careful management. To maximise the benefits of remote work while addressing its challenges, it is essential to implement the right tools and strategies. A multi-level approach, comprising organisational, team and individual initiatives, is likely to be most effective. Involving employees in co-designing these initiatives through surveys, focus groups and feedback will help ensure that strategies meet their needs and preferences, thereby enhancing effectiveness and engagement.Organisational level: Building the foundation. Organisations should establish an infrastructure and culture that supports flexible working arrangements. This includes establishing clear remote work policies that outline expectations, working hours, communication protocols and performance metrics. Investing in reliable technology, such as collaboration platforms, is crucial. Organisations must also provide training in essential remote working skills, such as virtual communication, time management and using digital tools effectively. Establishing trust between remote workers and line managers will also increase the success of remote working arrangements. It is also crucial to implement initiatives that support the health and work-life balance of remote workers and address the potential risks such as enabled intensification and sickness presenteeism.
Team level: Fostering collaboration and cohesion. The focus here should be on maintaining communication, collaboration and a sense of belonging. Regular team meetings and one-to-one checks will help people stay connected and engaged. Using collaborative tools and a mix of synchronous and asynchronous communication will accommodate different working styles and time zones. Organising virtual team-building activities will strengthen team relationships and implementing support mechanisms will help those who are struggling.
Individual level: Maintaining wellbeing and productivity. Time management tools and clear boundaries between work and personal time can help remote workers maintain focus and prevent burnout. Establishing a dedicated, ergonomic and distraction-free workspace at home is crucial. Taking regular breaks and developing strategies to help switch off from work mode mentally as well as physically will help maintain a healthy work-life balance. Regular communication with colleagues and managers is crucial, and seeking support when needed is vital for sustained well-being and productivity.

Professor Gail Kinman is a Chartered Psychologist and Professor of Occupational Health Psychology at Birkbeck, University of London.

Dr Christine Grant is a Chartered Psychologist, and Associate Professor, Centre for Healthcare Research at Coventry University.

SOURCE:

Monday, 9 December 2024

Μήπως ήρθε η ώρα να πείτε στο παιδί σας την αλήθεια για τον Άγιο Βασίλη;




by Αγγελική Λάλου
6 Δεκεμβρίου 2024



Ποια ηλικία είναι κατάλληλη και πώς να το πείτε χωρίς να χαλάσετε τις γιορτές


Καθώς πλησιάζει η περίοδος των γιορτών, πολλοί γονείς αντιμετωπίζουν το ερώτημα πότε και πώς να αποκαλύψουν την αλήθεια για τον Άγιο Βασίλη. Αυτό το θέμα μπορεί να είναι λεπτό, καθώς ο μύθος του Άγιου Βασίλη είναι βαθιά αναπόσπαστο μέρος της μαγικής εμπειρίας των Χριστουγέννων για τα παιδιά. Εδώ, διερευνούμε σκέψεις κατάλληλες για την ηλικία και ήπιες προσεγγίσεις για τη συζήτηση της πραγματικότητας πίσω από τον Άγιο Βασίλη χωρίς να μειώνουμε το εορταστικό πνεύμα.

Προσδιορισμός της σωστής ηλικίας

Η κατάλληλη ηλικία για να αποκαλύψετε την αλήθεια για τον Άγιο Βασίλη διαφέρει για κάθε παιδί. Γενικά, τα παιδιά αρχίζουν να αμφισβητούν την ύπαρξη του Αϊ-Βασίλη μεταξύ 5 και 8 ετών. Αυτή η περιέργεια συχνά προκύπτει φυσικά καθώς γίνονται πιο παρατηρητικά και σκέφτονται κριτικά για το ετήσιο δώρο του Άγιου Βασίλη. Λάβετε υπόψη τη συναισθηματική ωριμότητα και την ετοιμότητα του παιδιού σας να χειριστεί την αλήθεια, καθώς τα παιδιά αναπτύσσονται με τον δικό τους ρυθμό.

Για ορισμένους γονείς, το να αφήνουν τα παιδιά να καταλήξουν στα δικά τους συμπεράσματα λειτουργεί καλύτερα, επιτρέποντάς τα να κάνουν ερωτήσεις και να εκφράσουν αμφιβολίες όταν είναι έτοιμα. Άλλοι μπορεί να παρέχουν ήπια καθοδήγηση, ειδικά εάν η παραπληροφόρηση από συνομηλίκους ή άλλες πηγές πυροδοτεί σύγχυση.
Πώς να μιλήσετε στο παιδί σας

Επιλέξτε την κατάλληλη στιγμή: Βεβαιωθείτε ότι συζητάτε το θέμα όταν υπάρχει επαρκής χρόνος για συζήτηση και προβληματισμό, και όχι εν μέσω της βιασύνης των γιορτών. Μια ήσυχη, περιστασιακή στιγμή είναι προτιμότερη για να κάνει τη συζήτηση να μοιάζει λιγότερο αποθαρρυντική.

Ενσυναίσθηση με τα συναισθήματά τους: Αναγνωρίστε ότι η εκμάθηση της αλήθειας μπορεί να είναι απογοητευτική. Τονίστε ότι το να νιώθουν λύπη ή σύγχυση είναι εντάξει και μοιραστείτε τις αναμνήσεις σας από την ανακάλυψη της αλήθειας για την ύπαρξη του Άγιου Βασίλη για να συνδεθείτε και να εξανθρωπίσετε την εμπειρία.

Εστιάστε στο πνεύμα της προσφοράς: Διδάξτε ότι, ενώ ο Άγιος Βασίλης μπορεί να είναι φανταστικός, το πνεύμα του Άγιου Βασίλη —αγάπη, γενναιοδωρία και καλοσύνη—είναι πολύ αληθινό. Προσκαλέστε το παιδί σας να γίνει μέρος αυτής της παράδοσης βοηθώντας στη διάδοση της χαράς, κάνοντας τα μέρος της μαγείας.

Βάλτε μια θετική στροφή στην παράδοση: Εξηγήστε ότι η ανακάλυψη του μυστικού του Άγιου Βασίλη είναι μια ιεροτελεστία, ένα συναρπαστικό βήμα προς την κατανόηση των ευρύτερων πτυχών των παραδόσεων των γιορτών και τη δυνατότητα να αναλάβουν έναν νέο ρόλο στις εορταστικές γιορτές.



Συμπεριλάβετέ τα στις προετοιμασίες των γιορτών: Κάνοντάς τα «βοηθούς του Άη Βασίλη», τους επιτρέπετε να συμβάλουν στη δημιουργία οικογενειακής χαράς, είτε τυλίγοντας δώρα, στολίζοντας ή ψήνοντας μπισκότα. Αυτός ο περιεκτικός ρόλος μπορεί να κάνει τη σταδιακή μετάβαση πιο ομαλή και να βοηθήσει στη διατήρηση της γοητείας των Χριστουγέννων.
Κρατώντας τη μαγεία ζωντανή

Να θυμάστε ότι η εκμάθηση της αλήθειας για τον Άγιο Βασίλη δεν χρειάζεται να τελειώσει τη μαγεία των Χριστουγέννων. Ενθαρρύνετε το παιδί σας να ασχοληθεί με τη μαγεία των γιορτών εστιάζοντας στην οικογένεια, τις παραδόσεις και τη χαρά της προσφοράς. Ανακαλύψτε το πνεύμα των γιορτών δημιουργώντας μαζί νέες παραδόσεις, ενισχύοντας ότι οι διακοπές αφορούν την ενότητα, τη ζεστασιά και τη γιορτή.

Προσεγγίζοντας το θέμα προσεκτικά και με ευαισθησία, μπορείτε να βοηθήσετε το παιδί σας να πλοηγηθεί σε αυτό το ορόσημο της παιδικής του ηλικίας με ευκολία, διατηρώντας τον ενθουσιασμό και το θαύμα του για την περίοδο των γιορτών.

ΠΗΓΗ:

Friday, 6 December 2024

Is not going out the ‘new normal’?



Recent work suggests that the Covid-19 pandemic may have accelerated trends towards staying home.

29 November 2024

By Emily Reynolds


The Covid-19 lockdowns fundamentally changed the way we lived. Many people started working from home; we saw friends and family less; at times, outdoor activity was limited altogether. Many of these behaviours were cited as contributors to low mood and poor mental health. Yet, a new study suggests, we may still be engaging in them to a larger extent than pre-Covid.

To understand the ongoing effect of Covid-19 on our daily lives, a U.S-based team looked at the way Americans chose to spend their time: before the pandemic, during its peak, and since. They find that even after restrictions were lifted, people spent much less time doing activities outside – a lasting consequence of the pandemic.

Data was gathered from 34,018 participants in the American Time Use Survey, which has been looking at the way Americans spend their time since 2003. The team was specifically interested in 12 "out of home" activities like shopping, work, or healthcare, and 16 "in-home" activities like sleep, browsing the internet, or exercise. They also looked at time spent travelling every day.

The team looked at several periods to compare activity levels. Firstly, the unsurprising results: from 2019 to 2021, when Covid-19 restrictions were at their most strict, out of home time decreased by around an hour a day. Yet, in the post-acute pandemic period starting in 2022, this didn't increase much at all. In fact, time spent out of the house only increased by 11 minutes between 2021 and 2022 — meaning, overall, time spent out of the house decreased by 16% between pre- and post-pandemic years. In the same period, there was a similar decrease of 17% in time spent travelling.

Patterns of activity in and out of the house also changed: in fact, 17 out of the 28 activities showed significant changes between 2019 and 2023. Sleep increased, on average, by 16 minutes per day. Out of home shopping, predictably, fell during the pandemic but stayed below pre-pandemic levels by 2023. In fact, most 'discretionary' activities like socialising or eating out saw reductions (though more necessary tasks, like education or caregiving, remained fairly stable).

Again, this shows how severely the pandemic has affected our way of life. Even while many found it hard to spend so much time at home during the pandemic, it seems to have shifted our patterns of behaviour and daily routines: we're sleeping more, going out less, and spending less time on 'non-essential' activities like eating out.

How much of this is related strictly to the pandemic itself, however, is still up for debate. As the authors note, an existing trend towards staying home existed pre-Covid, with the advent of the pandemic seemingly accelerating that trend. In the UK, for example, the cost-of-living crisis and the lasting effects of previous financial crises have hit many people's disposable income hard; this may be a bigger contributing factor to a reduction in eating out or socialising than pandemic-influenced changes in social norms.

The other gap in the study is more qualitative: how people actually feel about the way their lives have changed over the last few years. The pandemic may have refocused people on the things they find meaningful, reshaping their lives in positive ways. On the other hand, shifts to working patterns, sleep, and socialising may be affecting people's wellbeing in a negative way. Future research could explore the nuances of such changes.

The team's acknowledgement that there is no real consensus on when the pandemic 'ended' is also an interesting part of the study. The results seem to back this up, too. Even though lockdowns have lifted and the most serious effects of the pandemic have abated, Covid-19 still continues to impact our lives every day.

Read the paper in full:
Morris, E. A., Speroni, S., & Taylor, B. D. (2024). Going Nowhere Faster: Did the Covid-19 Pandemic Accelerate the Trend Toward Staying Home? Journal of the American Planning Association, 1–19. https://doi.org/10.1080/01944363.2024.2385327

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Wednesday, 20 November 2024

Should I Go To Therapy?


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This week on Meg-John & Justin we podcasted about when to go to therapy. We covered the signs that therapy might be useful, what to expect from therapy, what it opens up and closes down, and how to engage with therapy once you get there.


We’re using ‘therapy’ here to cover therapy, counselling, coaching, and these kinds of related practices where you sit with somebody – usually one-to-one – and talk about your life.

Perhaps our biggest message was SHOP AROUND! The most important thing with a therapist is to find somebody you’ll have a good relationship with which also means having a shared understanding. People often just go to the first therapist they come across, but it’s really important to find somebody who is a good fit for you by doing at least as much homework as you would do around getting builders into your house or making a major purchase like a vehicle or musical instrument.
When you gotta go

Perhaps two good signs that therapy might be a good idea are when you are really struggling, and when life feels stuck or stagnant. In the first case you might notice tough emotions coming up, a sense of overwhelm, or specific symptoms like anxious thoughts or controlling behaviours. In the second case it might be more that everything feels a bit bland or pointless, or you have a sense that you’re avoiding looking at stuff that’s probably important.

It can also be a good idea to get therapy support after a big or traumatic life event, if there’s something major that’s happened in your life which you haven’t ever looked at, or perhaps as part of a regular check-in every few years with how you’re doing in your relationship with yourself, other people, your work, and life in general.

People often struggle to go to therapy because they see it as a self-indulgence. However, in all these cases your struggles are likely to be impacting on others in your life too: either because it affects your relationships directly, or because you are relying on close people for support.
What therapy opens up and closes down

Therapists can provide a supportive space for you to look at your stuff while having no agenda – in the way friends and family might want you to respond in a certain way, for example. They’re a person who is completely on your side and helping you figure out what’s best for you. Ideally they’ll be empowering you in ways that leave you more able to be kind to yourself and to follow the path that feels best for you. They may help you to learn tools and techniques to apply to your life more broadly, or be more focused on listening and helping you to make connections between what happened in your past and how you deal with things now.

One problem with therapy is that it can reinforce the idea that there’s something wrong with us that needs fixing. It’s important to remember that many of the struggles we have a totally, or largely, caused by shitty cultural messages, injustices, and family systems, work, and relationship dynamics that are toxic or painful. Ideally a therapist would be help you to look at this context and address your part in it, rather than reinforcing the idea that you are individually responsible for your suffering. Also, although the therapist generally puts themselves in a good place to be there for you for that hour, it’s worth remembering that they’re a person in this world who inevitably struggles as much as you do. It’s like you’re both climbing your own mountain. They have the expertise, experience, and perspective to be able to look across to you on your mountain and give you some advice about the next handhold or foothold.
How to find one

It’s worth getting recommendations from friends and searching online for people who work with the kinds of issues you have in a way that sounds good to you. Pink Therapy is a good listing for therapists with expertise around gender, sexual, and relationship diversity.

We’d suggest looking at as many websites as you can find for therapists who work on the right topics in your area (or more widely if you’re considering online therapy). Narrow it down to a few who feel good when you read about them, and then have an email exchange, phonecall and/or initial session with them to see whether it feels a good fit.

If you need a low-cost or free therapist then there are NHS therapists and counsellors through GP practices, as well as voluntary mental health and LGBTQ services in many places that provide therapy. There can be less choice here but it should still be important to assess whether it feels like a good fit, and the opportunity to ask for a different person if not.

It’s worth checking whether a therapist has some form of training and accreditation, although there are a wide range of these that can be appropriate. The first session should give you an opportunity to ask all the questions you need to ask, and give you a sense of how this therapist works.

As with all professions there are some therapists who are exploitative and even abusive, so it is vital to be careful and find someone who is ethical and works with integrity. Also there will be many who can work well with some people but just aren’t a good fit for you.

You should always feel that it’s possible to end therapy if it’s not working for you, and to find an option that’s affordable. Therapy shouldn’t leave you feeling scared and confused.

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